Welcome once again to another reliably ridiculously round of Ask the Bastards, the weekly feature where you, the readers, get to ask us, the writers of Nerd Bastards, what we think about all manner of geeky topics. This week we’re talking more about the oncoming X-Men flicks, sharing our favorite comics, tackling Resident Evil and Star Wars: The Old Republic, and fielding a slightly touchy question about nerddom as a whole.
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What are your thoughts on the recent news for the next X-movies? (First Class DOFP & The Wolverine) – Alex
Pretty excited for Wolverine, cautiously optimistic that Millar will steer the right director to helm the next X-Men movie. – Mark Poynter
I’m a bit disappointed that Matthew Vaughn dropped out for the First Class sequel. It always sucks when the original vision can’t be carried on. As for The Wolverine, I’m getting more and more impressed the more I read about it. I remain skeptical, but I think both movies have the potential to be truly great. Only time will tell, however, so I’d rather wait til I see some trailers to make a final judgment on either. – Jason McAnelly
Do you currently need models for your site? – Nina
I dunno about the site, but I have a private website that I’m looking for “adult talent” for. A fair warning though, it may require some topless DMing. - Jason McAnelly
Your timing in impeccable. We’re going to be launching a new NB tee-shirt design on our Splitreason.com store. We got a spiffy one in the works to promote the NB BastardCast. We’ll, of course, need a girl to model it off for us. So, yeah, just message me via our contact page and we’ll go from there. Beyond t-shirts, we don’t really have any modeling opportunities, but maybe we could do something fun for our Facebook cover photo. I’ve always wanted to see a cute nerdy girlie dress up as our “Nerd Bastard” mascot (the smoking Vader, as seen in the logo above). That would be fun. -Luke Gallagher
What do you guys think about seeing BARRY in the new “craptastic” Resident Evil movie?? Didn’t he die back in ’96 ?? – Ismael
No opinion. I could never beat the first damn game, so I stopped caring about the franchise altogether. - Jason McAnelly
I didn’t see the movie, so I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about. I think the better question here is… why would you subject yourself another RE movie? The first one was OK, but the subsequent sequels were terrible. I mean come on, they don’t even honor the video game series from which they’re based. Director Paul W.S. Anderson took the names of characters, a few recognizable monstrosities and did whatever the hell he wanted. It’s like “oh, lets make Alice a super hero and make hundreds of leather-clad clones of her. And, lets shoot a whole bunch of slow-mo scenes in the rain. Yeah, fans will love that!” Also, IMO, Anderson didn’t even make what you would call a movie. Every flick in the franchise -minus the first one- has been nothing but a hyper stylized music video, with dazzling fight scenes timed with some butt-rock anthem. Oi! I’m not asking for a Oscar-worthy screenplay or anything, but give me a decent story with characters and motivations I actually care about. Amirite? – Luke Gallagher
Star Wars the Old Republic is soon to come free to play, what is your take on it? – Matthew
I played it when it came out and truth to tell it was buggy and confusing. That most likely colored any current opinion I could offer. It’s free though and I’m all for that. The only thing better than a free game is a free taco. – Mark Poynter
Dammit Mark, now I want Tacos. Uh, this really isn’t a F2P option, it’s just disguised as one. It’s really just a trial with heavy game restrictions instead of time restrictions. If you don’t pay you won’t be able to run Operations (raids), you won’t gain rewards past the first three Flashpoints (dungeons) you play per week. You’ll be limited to three Warzone PvP scraps per week and three space missions per week. There’s a few other restrictions, but clearly, the intent here is toattract people who are discouraged by subscriptions, get them to play the game, like it and then either get a subscription or use micro-transactions to get rid of all the restrictions. Regardless, they give you the best parts of the game (Story missions) for free and you get to max level when you finish them. That works for me!- Luke Gallagher
Which super hero would you be? – Julie
Face to face this would usually be a quick and easy answer, Captain America. Now that I am sitting in front of the computer, I started thinking, wait, the question wasn’t what powers you wanted, but what hero would you want to be. After a lot of thought, I think my answer would be NONE of them. Have you read comics? Heroes lives are a mess and people they love get killed all the time. If their arch enemies aren’t ruining their lives then the public they serve is out for the heroes blood for some silly reason or other. Nah, I’ll pass. – Mark Poynter
I think we maybe asked this one before? Or something like it? If I remember correctly, I went with Iron Man the first time around. Cause Tony Stark is rich and gets lots of chicks. Plus the suit of armor is just plain cool. Alternatively, I would be The Tick. He is nigh invulnerable and yet still lives in a state of blissful ignorance. Plus, he gets all the best dialogue. SPOOOOOOOONNN!!!! - Jason McAnelly
Myself. - Chris D.
Batman, the answer is always Batman. - Matthew Jackson
With it being so cool to be a nerd these days, how do you deal with self proclaimed nerds that just “hopped on the bandwagon”? Or should our nerdom rise above this mindset and just welcome newcomers w/o judgement? – Sherry
It’s not when a “nerd” got here, its what they bring to the party that matters most. I have a bigger problem with faux-nerds than I do with those who are new to this wonderful way of life. - Jason Tabrys
You really can’t tell if someone is a good cook until you taste their food. I’d say the same goes for most things. It’s usually pretty easy to see if someone is really interested in something and their knowledge level after talking with them for a few minutes, but I would like to make clear that to me, being open, tolerant, and welcoming to others that enjoy the things that I do is important to me. Maybe they are new to what ever nerdy thing you are talking about. The key there is to encourage and respect their opinions, even if you disagree. I’d rather convert than convict. - Mark Poynter
Everyone is a nerd at heart. I often run into people who say “Yeah, I’m a total geek. I watch Doctor Who and stuff!” and am forced to shake my head in dismay. But in the end, we nerds are becoming mainstream, so those who lurked in the background are coming to the forefront now. We should embrace, and teach them as if they were our padawans. But if they turn to the dark side, they must be slain. Unless you’re an advocate of the dark side, that is. Then you must train them to be as evil as possible. - Jason McAnelly
I don’t think of any one of us really knows what any of these words really mean, and I’m tired of this discussion. I grew up as the weird kid who was excluded because no one ever knew what I was talking about. Many of us had these exclusionary childhoods where we were the weird kids, the bullied ones, the ones no one wanted at parties, and now we’re all in a big clique talking about who we should let in to our circles? Smells like bullshit to me, and it also feels just plain mean. These things are for everybody! Just let people be fans, enjoy each other’s company and stop making this about dividing lines. - Matthew Jackson
With the current wave of reboot fever, how cool would it be to see the return of Space: Above & Beyond? – Jan
I would give it a chance, but it would need to be on FX, AMC, or HBO for me to really consider that the show had a chance of lasting more than half a season. – Mark Poytner
What are your choices for best comics at the moment? – Matthew
Saga, Daredevil, and Walking Dead. With that said though, I’m more occupied by a large pile of classic trades than I am with most current books. – Jason Tabrys
Saga, The Manhattan Projects, Daredevil, The Walking Dead, Secret Avengers, Batman, Batgirl, Captain Marvel, Swamp Thing, Animal Man, The Defenders and Casanova - Matthew Jackson
Do you offer internships at Nerd Bastards? – Faren
I am totally drawing a blank as I sit here. I really wish I could come up with some really cool company name like “Kramerica” from Seinfeld and offer you an internship, but all the names I can think of sound really creepy. After a quick Internet search checking Georgia and Inter-State Trafficking law, I’m gonna let Luke answer this one. – Mark Poynter
Short answer, “Yes!” While we’re pretty stocked for writers, we have a pretty open door policy when it comes to outside contributions. Opinion pieces, reviews, lists, event coverage and occasional help with news are all welcome. While an intern would not have the same responsibilities as a full-time writer, a contributor status (occasional posts) does require certain expectations. Here are the 4 biggest things:
1. Voice/personality. While the job is to effectively deliver nerd worthy content, opinion and charisma are necessary for entertainment purposes. Dry, dull and straight-to-the-point mentality doesn’t work for our brand.
2. Good/superior skills with spelling, grammar and phrasing. Nerd Bastards is focused on delivering the latest news in nerd culture – a steady stream of content. Quality control is of utmost importance. We need folks who can get it right straight from the draw.
3. Reliability/consistency. Flakes and folks with a “come-as-you-please” mentality need not apply. We demand quality, timely posts. Reasonable personal life issues not withstanding, you’d be expected to deliver content when promised. Sporadic/unexpected contribitions just don’t jive with the demand for news and entertainment.
4. Nerd Knowledge. As obvious as it sounds, we need folks who know their stuff. NB is an authority on Nerd culture. It’s expected that our writers know enough about nerd trends to speak to them confidently.
If you meet the above criteria, then great! We’d be very eager to talk with you further. Message me via our contact page – Luke Gallagher
Why are so many geeks addicted to canon? Is it really better to see the same thing over and over and over again as opposed to experiencing a new spin from a different creative angle?- Jason
Everybody has their favorite thing or event from a character’s story line and it’s hard when you have deep feelings for something and see those cherished things changed or erased from the current stories. If you think it’s just geeks that do that find a group of baseball fans and ask how they feel about the Infield Fly rule. – Mark Poynter
Even though I posted this question (just to see what my fellow NBs would say), I will answer it nonetheless. I am the unpopular one here at the NB for being the guy who embraces reboots (to a certain degree). I think new stories are great ways to explore old and frequently tired properties. With that being said, I feel that too much departure is a recipe for disaster. Change the order of events, but don’t reprogram the characters’ personalities. Create an alternate timeline, but don’t start adding random crap that makes no sense. Ideally, keep the essence, but feel free to break the bounds of tradition when it comes to the old and loved ideas. Art is organic and change is good but stupidity and pandering are just dumb. - Jason McAnelly
To each their own. Fanon can always offer new insights and perspectives that can be exciting, but you have to wade through a lot of shit to find the diamond in the rough. And even though fanon is a great way of experiencing the universe in a different light, one can argue that you can also do that by revisiting canon. No matter how many times you read or watch the same thing over and over, there will always be something new to learn. – Chris D.
Someone (I think it was Chris Sims) once introduced me to the idea that we, as readers and viewers, make our own canon. We get to decide what worked and what didn’t, and why, and move on from there. How many terms have you heard someone say “Well, technically those two characters were married, but I don’t count that story.” I actually agree with Jason that reboots can provide a welcome re-invigoration and dose of new storytelling punch (see Nolan’s work with Batman or the last seven years of Doctor Who). Fresh perspectives are good, and they don’t dim the stories that came before because we always have those to go back to. I think that canon is a fluid thing, something we get to mold to our own likes and dislikes. After all, if you really hated that one set of Superman stories from 1983, you can always take solace in the fact that you’ve got 73 other years of Superman stories to indulge in. - Matthew Jackson