Star Wars: The Great Director Whittling

 I don’t know what we’re goona talk about when we run out of Star Wars “news”. Thank goodness though, that today is not the day we have too find out.

The producers of Star Wars: Episode VII have their list of directors culled down to “a couple“, which some have taken to mean two, though I imagine it simply means something between less than “a lot” and more than one.

Whose on the list? We have no idea, and Frank Marshall (who has seemingly seen Lucasfilm chief Kathleen Kennedy naked on a semi-regular basis) isn’t telling because he told MTV “I can’t reveal it, or I won’t be alive tomorrow.” and apparently Disney employs assassins.

So, in the absence of actual information, what exactly is Marshall doing? Why he’s quickening pulses and feeding the fires of the engine that is taking us all on the white knuckle thrill ride that is PRE-PRODUCTION! Yes, you may have to sign a waiver due to all this excitement people.

So, what’s next? One imagines that Disney and Lucasfilm will release a single letter from the name of the lucky auteur daily until it becomes obvious. By the way, they better bring a big name that we can all get behind to this, because right now the anticipation is killing us and if team Wookie Renewal botches this it’ll be coming back at them. Don’t anti-Whedon this Mouse House!

There, and I didn’t even need 600 words to tell you all that. Oh by the way, Indiana Jones 5 may still happen but Marshall says the merger isn’t speeding that up. See you tomorrow with the next round.

Category: Film

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