Dan, We need to talk.

Mr. Aykroyd I, like the many others that may inadvertently read this personal letter cleverly disguised as a post on a nerd news site, can say I am a fan of so many things that you have brought to the big and small screen. First and foremost, the Ghostbusters‘ movies (with Spies Like Us a very close second) hold a special, special place and you remain in my top 5 list of original Saturday Night Live cast members that are Caucasian males with dark hair.

Over the past few years we have heard you entertain thoughts of a third movie about busting ghosts, and I will say I was on board. Right with you all up until it got a little bit silly. Right around the time when Bill (Murrayshredded the script (allegedly.) Not to say that his lack of interest in the project is part of why I think it is a bad idea, however his lack of involvement helps my decision.

Recently in an interview with Esquire magazine when asked about Sony’s recent financial problems leading to GB3 being delayed you responded with this:

(continued after the jump)

“I’m as deeply inside Ghostbusters 3 as anyone involved in the project — that includes the executives at Sony, who have to go to sleep at night and have to decide to do it. Ivan Reitman, the director, who travels from Santa Barbara to L.A., and has for the last three years, working with writers to put it together. [The Office writers] Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg, who worked on one of the drafts.”

I am troubled by those words, Dan. Deeply troubled. Knowing that scripts are being passed back and forth without any (alleged) shredding in between is something that worries me. I am scared you think this movie will actually happen.

“I read every draft that’s been turned in. When Gene and Lee, and Etan [Cohen, writer of Men in Black 3, hired last summer], and Ivan — when they’ve turned in drafts, I hand drafts right back. And at this point, we have a script that we like. And I’m hoping for it.”

Now you bring in the guy that wrote MIB3? Dan, are you ok? We are not talking about a ‘My Mother the Alien’ sequel here. You also referred to yourself as a ‘cheerleader’ for the project. I will have you know if it was 1993 I would be right next to you decked out in a Hypercolour t-shirt cheering right next to you. Afterwards we’d toast each other over a nice glass of Crystal Pepsi while Bill Clinton played the saxophone. It’s not 1993 Dan, it’s not even close anymore. It is time to move on.

How does everyone else with a stake in the franchise feel?

“Well, I have one-fifth of the voice, along with the partners and the other owner of the property, the picture company, and Ivan, Billy [Murray], and myself, and Harold [Ramis]. We all have to sign off on it unanimously — uh, I’m not sure Billy does anymore, since he abrogated his rights by sort of, by saying, two years ago he said, “I don’t want to be involved,” and the picture company I think had some clause in there that if he actually passed on the third of fourth offer, he no longer has a view of the franchise. So, that’s for the lawyers to decide. Of course, I’d love to have Billy call me tomorrow and say, “Let’s go to work and start writing.'”

Why did Bill(y) walk away, Dan? Why? His (rumored) comment that ‘No one wants to pay money to see fat, old men chasing ghosts!‘ aside, maybe it is just not that good of an idea to go back to the franchise? We had one really good Ghostbuster movie, another that ain’t that bad and a hell of a cartoon. Is that not enough?

‘Well, let me say this: Had Billy chosen to do the Eisenberg/Stupnitsky script of two years ago, it would be out this summer, and it would be a massive hit. If Billy had said yes, it would have satisfied his performance and what he wanted in the movie, it would have satisfied his performing skill and how he wanted to be depicted in the movie, it would have satisfied the studio, the writers who wrote it, everybody — Ivan, me, Harold, we were all happy with it. Then when he said, “Absolutely not, I’m not in this,” we had to go and really rethink things. He abrogated his say in the project, abrogated his rights to have any say in it by refusing the third offer from the picture company, which his lawyer put before him, and Billy said, “No, I can’t respond.” Now we have to move on, but we’ll always leave a hole for him. He’s always there. He can always come back at any time and be rebuilt into it, as far as I’m concerned. That’s up to his lawyer and the picture company to work out, but creatively, he will always be a part of it.

Dan, honestly.

Now, this would add quite a bump to Sony’s bottom line, quite a bump. If they make this movie, in its current shape, they would be looking at a pretty hefty, nine-figure return. And so I’m hoping they get on to move it, but if they don’t, I have multiple trains. I’ve got tracks six, seven, and nine, and that’s four. I’ll be moving on to other things, as will Ivan, by the way. We can’t wait forever. And now’s the time to tell the picture company, and I’d say this quite publicly, it’s time now to sit down and make this movie, or you will lose your main principals, and you won’t be able to make it without us, because we have rights, and now is time to make the movie…’

Words hurt Dan, words hurt. Not only are you hurting fans like myself, but you are hurting Sony Pictures with a tease of a financial windfall that won’t happen. Besides, haven’t you already lost a main principle in Murray? I’m not saying he is more important than you, the guy who directs, OZ warden, and Honey I Shrunk the Kids guy… I’m not saying that. What I am saying is, are the Ghosbusters not a team? Does bustin not make you feel better when it is done together?

The thought of a movie with you, Harold Ramis and Ernie Hudson (wait, you never mention Ernie Hudson… why is that, Dan… he was in Airheads for crying out loud and he won’t come back?) passing on the torch to a whole new generation of Ghostbusters, or as you put it, a movie where you are ‘dealing with a problem, as the first movie did, but I think we would have to hand it off to the young,’ is… is that really all you have? What happened to the Ghostbusters In Hell idea you had 20 years ago (when it was still a semi-decent idea)?

Man-hell-ttan, and the Ghostbusters in hell, would be so solid, but we gotta get maybe one or two made before that. But, oh, wow… I wrote that with Tom Davis, my writing partner, recently deceased, who wrote Coneheads with me and stuff on Saturday Night Live. There’s classic Tom Davis lines and funny stuff in there, really it’s probably the most humorous of all the Ghostbusters scripts that have generated in that last little while. But we’ll put the humor into this next one. It’s gotta be funny, or it’s not worth doing. It can be scary, it can be Ghostbusters, it can be the new franchise, the new people, but if it’s not funny … Wait a minute, it started as a comedy. Let’s make sure there’s laughs and no laugh unturned and that we really make that our priority, to make it funny and exciting, but mainly funny.’

Dan, this needs to stop. It really does. Ghostbusters 3 will never happen.

‘The one that Etan has written now — with Ivan strongly collaborating with him, and with me doing revisions as needed, and studio input — totally leads to a next one. It feeds into it very organically.’

DAN! You’re not George Lucas, we still love you. At the very least focus on making Ghostbusters 3 (the one that won’t happen) before thinking about a forth or fifth movie (that also won’t happen). Look, if you are worried that Ghostbusters will fade, that it needs to be handed off to the next generation, that it needs to live on… Dan, it does. It will. The first movie (and even the second) are in good hands already. Please see the attached photo of my son and I this past Halloween.

If you are concerned about the next generation of Ghostbuster, they are already out there because of the movies you, Ramis, Murray and yes, even Hudson made.

Signed with affection and bewilderment,

Your fellow Canadian and lover of Crystal Head Vodka,

Jeremy R! Hudson.

P.S. Now a new Doctor Detroit movie on the other hand….

Category: Film

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  • You’re an idiot. Why is it people like you always tell people like Dan that they have to “move on”, “give it up”, “get real”? You are the reason great things don’t get done. You are the death of creativity, the death of dedication, tenacity, will. You, sir, are part of the problem. Congratulations.

    • Sticks and stones can break my bones, but Ghostbusters 3 will never be made. You do know that a movie being ‘in development’ for 20 years is a bad sign, right?

      Again, would have loved to have seen a third Ghostbuster movie, but somethings just aren’t meant to be.

      • I’m going to come back here (if your shitty site is still up and running) and post a big, fat F YOU all over this discussion, on GB3’s hit opening weekend.

        • Sure thing. I can not wait to debate the quality of cinema and the enjoyment of film with someone of your f-bombing caliber.

          • lol that made me laugh. Sorry but I am passionate about GB3 ever since my bf introduced me to the first 2 movies.

  • Dear Mr. Akroyd:

    If you read this, we’d like to apologize for Jeremy. This is a very stressful time of year and sometimes he gets overtired and cranky when he’s tuckered out and needs a nap.

    In the meantime, this is probably as good a time as any for the rest of us to say the following:

    Thank you! We look forward to enjoying your contributions to many art forms for years to come.

    Thank you! For every joyful moment you have given us over the course of our lives. Because let’s face it, you have been an immense talent in comedy since before most of us were old enough to walk and talk.

    Thank you! For continuing to work in this business. We look forward to supporting any movie you care to make. We do understand that sometimes Hollywood cannot keep up with you. We understand that sometimes their loss will be our loss too, since they hold the purse strings and make crappy calls. We’re sorry that their low opinion of us, your paying audience–of our intelligence, our taste, and our willingness to support great undertakings–sometimes makes it harder for you to make the films we love.

    We understand that this is not your fault. We appreciate your persistence in the face of this mountain of BS nonetheless.

    Thank you! For the years you have spent honing your skills. It’s inspiring. Maybe even a little intimidating. But in a good way. At this sitting you are an amazing actor in both leading and supporting roles. You can bring life and energy to the screen as a hero or a villain. Hell, you are so made of awesome that even your hobbies are awesome. You can take some of the coolest things in life (like vodka, Forteana, and the Blues) and make them just that liiiiiittle bit cooler.

    Thank you for opening our eyes. Thank you for making us laugh so many times. Thank you for being relentlessly creative, inventive and classically Canadian in everything you do.

    Once again, sorry about Jeremy. Please don’t take him too seriously. We don’t.


    A Fan

    • Dear Fan,

      An enjoyable read, however you apparently didn’t read it very well since you seemed to have missed a few points. Bit awkward in places.

      Now lets watch the trailer for Blues Brothers 2000 together!

    • Jason Tab

      Seriously, have any of you seen Celtic Pride or Soul Man or My Stepmother is an Alien? Blue Brothers 3000? No? Okay, have any of you actually read the article or the interview it cites?

      This isn’t a sacred quest by a remarkable artist, this is a cash grab by a man who has nothing left to profit from. Where else is Dan Aykroyd going to get a payday like this?

      Let’s not grant God-like status to every celeb and person who once made us laugh. He is a human, he has flaws and one of them is his willingness to trade on his former greatness.

      Sometimes people lose their fastball, sometimes the game passes them by and it seems like that is what has happened here. What has Aykroyd done in the last 15 years that would make ANY of you think that this would be good?

      As for people like Jeremy and me being the problem or implying the we stop things like this from getting made: from your lips to Gods ears, but in all seriousness, this is an opinion piece and sometimes a bit of contrast helps improve the metaphorical picture. This shit can’t be cupcakes and unicorns all the time, we’d all die of saccharin poisoning.



    • This made my night! He is Vigo! You are like the buzzing of flies to him!

  • Wow, this article put the Bastard in NerdBastards. I bet if GB3 was already in development you would be whining that Sony was raping your childhood. Thanks for the sticks and stones idea though.

  • Egon

    I’ll stay with Aykroyd

  • Ivan

    Well… Tron 2 happened. It was produced 28 years later, but it happened. Tron 3 is materializing as well. I’m sticking with Dan on this one.