While the flux-capacitor hasn’t been perfected, and we can’t help you fix any past holiday humbuggery, maybe we can help you get this holiday season off to a good start.
For the next 12 days (Dec 1st-12th), the staff of Nerd Bastards will be listing a few of their favorite nerdy things. Gadgets, doohickeys, thingamabobs and more – all sorts of items that have been Nerd tested and Bastard approved. Basically, stuff you want, things you need, and everything you can’t have.
We hope you’ll find some unique and nerdtastic gifts among our selections, and that they make their way under your tree, Menorah or Kwanzaa bush.
Hit the jump for Matthew Jackson’s list of Nerdful things. Check back tomorrow for Chris D‘s list. To see archive of this feature, click HERE.
I’ve often said that nerdery comes in many shades. For instance, I’m a nerd for everything from comics and movies to cocktails (more on that in a minute). But I’m also a nerd for Christmas, a serious nerd for Christmas. I watch all the specials and movies, I decorate the house inside and out, I collect nutcrackers and holiday villages and I obsess over what to get everyone. That makes this sort of thing especially fun for me. So, without further delay, here’s my list of 10 Christmas (or other holiday, if you swing that way) gifts that the nerd in your life would love to see under the tree (or shrub, or ficus or…large wooden badger).
1. Robert Baratheon’s Warhammer by Valyrian Steel
I’m actually lucky enough to own this magnificent beast thanks to my amazing girlfriend Kimberly, who got it for my birthday earlier this year. Those of you faithful to George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire novels know that, before he was king, Robert Baratheon won the Iron Throne with the might of a legendary warhammer, and even slew Rhaegar Targaryen with it. This is an official replica of that very hammer, and it comes with a certificate of authenticity signed by George R. R. Martin himself. It’s pricey, yes, but it’s definitely authentic and well-made. You could really kill someone with this thing…not that I’m advocating that, mind you, but it makes a hell of a deterrent.
As I believe I mentioned a couple of paragraphs back, I’m a bit of a cocktail nerd, and I love nifty gadgets that allow me to, well…drink more. I stumbled across this thing on the interweb, and now I want one for my bar.
I love cool geeky things for the kitchen, probably because I spend a good bit of time in there, so I’m always on the lookout for stuff like this. Make a bunch of these bad boys and serve them up in Star Wars-themed cocktails. It’s great for those “I love you”…”I know” moments.
The fine folks at Think Geek have been selling silver versions of this nifty Enterprise pizza cutter for quite a while now, but this year it’s available in a (somewhat pricey) limited edition that turned the legendary starship gold. Now you can really boldly go where no pizza chef has gone before.
It’s the fastest bottle opener in the galaxy! Well…that really depends on you, but the look on your fellow fanboys and girls’ faces when you pull this thing out to crack open a brew is definitely worth it. And if they’re not impressed, you can always just go with the old “She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts.”
That whole “Come to the Dark Side…We Have Cookies” thing can finally become more than an empty promise on a bumper sticker.
7. The Lands of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin
I can’t resist a truly gorgeous fantasy tome, especially when it’s something like this. Detailed maps of every corner of Westeros and beyond, just as they’re imagined by George R. R. Martin. This is an indispensable new addition to the bookshelf of any Ice and Fire fan.
Moleskine notebooks are legendary for a reason. They’re gorgeous, if pricey, little pocket companions, but even the originals are put to shame by these spectacular new editions themed after The Hobbit. In addition to the nifty engravings on the outside (which include J. R. R. Tolkien’s legendary monogram), they also come with beautiful paper and a map of the Wilderland inside. Use them to practice your Elvish and Dwarvish writing.
A few weeks ago I had the great pleasure of visiting The Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando for the first time (go as soon as you can, get in line for The Forbidden Journey first thing, then drink about 12 butterbeers), and it was everything I could do to keep from bringing this thing home along with all my other souvenirs (a wand, lots of Honeydukes candy, a Ravenclaw hat and Christmas gifts). I saw one fully unfurled and it’s a beautiful replica of what you see in the films. It’ll be on my wall one day.
10. Mini Bat-Signal
It’s a Bat-Signal. You need one. Everyone needs one.
BONUS GIFT: Elf Ultimate Collector’s Edition Blu-Ray
Come on, it’s Elf. You know you love it…OK, so maybe you don’t, but someone you know does, because it’s just that kind of movie, and those of us who love it REALLY love it. I bought this bad boy this year, and it’s totally worth it (though you can also purchase the same edition in DVD format if you want to save a bit). You not only get the movie and this nifty metal case, but you also get a souvenir stocking just like Buddy’s, Buddy the Elf gift tags, a soundtrack sampler and a magnetic picture frame that features the quote “I just like to smile. Smiling’s my favorite.” How can you pass that up?