2012 was a sizeable year for movies adapted from fantasy works. Among them were some smash-hit blockbusters such as The Dark knight Rises, The Avengers, and The Hobbit. Unfortunately, the only nerd-related movie that received an Oscar nod was The Avengers, for it’s visual effects. We were also excited that Seth MacFarlene was hosting.
At first, I was worried that Seth’s humor was going to get watered-down by the network, but I was soon relieved when he came out strong with a few quick burns. Seth wasted no time throwing funny jabs at the celebrities who were both in attendance and not, getting in playful but sometimes sharp swings at Tommy Lee Jones, Ben Afflack, Daniel Day Lewis, Chris Brown, Jodie Foster and Mel Gibson.
Seth was not shy in poking at The Academy for not nominating Ben Affleck for best Director for Argo, even though the film had been nominated for Best Film. “The film is so top secret that the film’s director is unknown to the Academy,” MacFarlane said to a lot of applause. “They know they screwed up.”
I do think that Seth fares better on shows like The Comedy Central Roasts. He’s the kind of host that needs to get off his wisecracks, burns and satire, and we all know how sensitive actors can be, especially at awards ceremonies where they expected to be praised for their work, non-stop. Some of his material would have gotten better reactions with an easier-going audience.
Save for a few obligatory lulls and must-have segments, the three-and-a-half-hour show moved along fairly swiftly. With Seth hosting, we got a bit of a “roast-of” video about the whole thing. We saw plenty of serious and dramatic moments, but he was able to add right amount of humor to even-out the mood.
Here are a few of my highlights, followed by the complete list of winners:
William Shatner had a Captain Kirk moment getting a respectably funny sketch with Seth. Captain Kirk showed Seth a tweets from the future, saying that Seth was the worst Oscars host, ever. Bill Shatner, Seth McFarlane, the gay men’s chorus of LA and a musical number about boobs… yeah, it was pretty epic.
The visual effects award was presented fifth. The Avengers lost to Life Of Pi. Although, Ang Lee (Director, Life Of Pi) and crew did a hell of a job with the special effects in their movie, it was still disappointing to see The Avengers, the only Nerd movie of the year to get an Oscar nod, lose out.
There were some necessary segments, such as the 50th anniversary James Bond video tribute, presented by Halle Berry. Her rejected Bond villain inspired dress got more of the spotlight. Oh, and speaking of Bond, Shirley Bassey got wheeled out of her retirement home to sing a weird and uncomfortable rendition of “Gold Finger”. I felt compelled to masturbate, it was so awkward.
I was back laughing again during John Travolta’s cringe-worthy pronunciation of “Les Miserables,” which was akin to watching a stereotypical french mime dancing around with white gloves on.
The show carried on with a decent amount of humor, some good memorial moments and Anne Hathaway’s dress looking like an apron. An apron with nipples.
Good Lord, what’s happened to Rene Zellweger? She’s gone conclave. Her face is on the inside of her skull.
Wolverine came out and disappointed me with a lame song-and-dance, with Hugh Jackman doing a Les Miserables. Once you play Wolverine, you should be legally bound to play him in every movie and role that you’re star in for the rest of your career.
Mark Wahlberg and Ted come out and Ted let a couple of edgy lines go, adding to the “roast” feel that Seth was injecting into the show. By the way, Walhberg needs to lay of the HGH. Dude looked liked he was gonna explode in his suit. I assume Michael Bay planned to detonate him in the parking lot, but it would have cost $400 million dollars. *special thanks to Matthew Jackson for that joke.
Charlize Theron and Dustin Hoffman were an awkwardly-paired couple due to the height difference between the two of them. I was waiting for Dustin to turn around too fast and walk right into Theron’s cleavage.
Kristen Stewart still looks like she’s a vampire. A sleepless vampire. On meth. Seriously, did that girl get hit by a bus or something. She looked awful.
It was fun seeing Adele Adkins & Paul Epworth win Original Song for Skyfall. Who at NerdBastards doesn’t love a good Bond song?
There was really only one malfunction moment of the night, when Jennifer Lawrence fell up the stairs, going to collect her trophy for Best Actress. I thought that she had won for Best Stunt-woman, but quickly recovered, and was helped to the stage by Hugh Jackmam, who I think in retrospect, was just praying on a woman on all fours.
Daniel Day Lewis became the first actor in history to win three Actor In A Leading Role awards, with his win for Best Actor In A Lead Role, for Lincoln
It was a nice surprise to see Tarantino pickup his second Oscar for Best Original Screen Play for his western slave revenge flick Django Unchained. He won his first for Pulp Fiction way back in 1994. That was back before he was compelled to visually insert his foot fetish in his films.
Ben Affleck accepted the honor of Best Film, for Argo, and gave a very gratitude-filled rapid-fire (seriously, I think he downed 80 pixie sticks while Jack Nicholson announced the nominees) of thank-you’s to other people involved in the making of the movie.
All in all, it was a night of sexist jokes, boring acceptance speeches, and music that lacked attention.
Anyway, here’s the full list of winners:
- Beasts of the Southern Wild
- Silver Linings Playbook
- Zero Dark Thirty
- Les Misérables
- Life of Pi
- Django Unchained
- David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
- Ang Lee, Life of Pi
- Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
- Michael Haneke, Amour
- Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild
- Naomi Watts, The Impossible
- Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
- Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
- Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
- Quvenzhané Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild
- Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
- Denzel Washington, Flight
- Hugh Jackman, Les Misérables
- Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
- Joaquin Phoenix, The Master
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
- Pirates: Band of Misfits
BEST FOREIGN FILM
- Amour (Austria)
- No (Chile)
- War Witch (Canada)
- A Royal Affair (Denmark)
- Kon Tiki (Norway)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
- Sally Field, Lincoln
- Anne Hathaway, Les Misérables
- Jacki Weaver, Silver Linings Playbook
- Helen Hunt, The Sessions
- Amy Adams, The Master
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
- Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
- Phillip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
- Robert de Niro, Silver Linings Playbook
- Alan Arkin, Argo
- Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
- Argo, written by Chris Terrio
- Beasts of the Southern Wild, screenplay by Lucy Alibar & Benh Zeitlin
- Life of Pi, written by David Magee
- Lincoln, written by Tony Kushner
- Silver Linings Playbook, written by David O. Russell
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
- Amour, written by Michael Haneke
- Django Unchained, written by Quentin Tarantino
- Flight, written by John Gatins
- Moonrise Kingdom, written by Wes Anderson & Roman Coppola
- Zero Dark Thirty, written by Mark Boal
BEST ORIGINAL SONG
- “Before My Time,” Chasing Ice
- “Pi’s Lullaby,” Life of Pi
- “Suddenly,” Les Misérables
- “Everybody Needs a Best Friend,” Ted
- “Skyfall,” Skyfall
- Seamus McGarvey, Anna Karenina
- Robert Richardson, Django Unchained
- Claudio Miranda, Life of Pi
- Janusz Kaminski, Lincoln
- Roger Deakins, Skyfall
BEST COSTUME DESIGN
- Jacqueline Durran, Anna Karenina
- Paco Delgado, Les Misérables
- Joanna Johnston, Lincoln
- Eiko Ishioka, Mirror Mirror
- Colleen Atwood, Snow White and the Huntsman
BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
- 5 Broken Cameras
- The Gatekeepers
- How to Survive a Plague
- The Invisible War
- Searching for Sugar Man
BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT
- Inocente, Sean Fine and Andrea Nix Fine
- Kings Point, Sari Gilman and Jedd Wider
- Mondays at Racine, Cynthia Wade and Robin Honan
- Open Heart, Kief Davidson and Cori Shepherd Stern
- Redemption, Jon Alpert and Matthew O’Neill
BEST FILM EDITING
- William Goldenberg, Argo
- Tim Squyres, Life of Pi
- Michael Kahn, Lincoln
- Jay Cassidy and Crispin Struthers, Silver Linings Playbook
- Dylan Tichenor and William Goldenberg, Zero Dark Thirty
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
- Dario Marianelli, Anna Karenina
- Alexandre Desplat, Argo
- Mychael Danna, Life of Pi
- John Williams, Lincoln
- Thomas Newman, Skyfall
BEST MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING
- Howard Berger, Peter Montagna and Martin Samuel, Hitchcock
- Peter Swords King, Rick Findlater and Tami Lane, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
- Lisa Westcott and Julie Dartnell, Les Misérables
BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN
- Anna Karenina, Sarah Greenwood (Production Design) nad Katie Spencer (Set Decoration)
- The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Dan Hennah (Production Design) and Ra Vincent and Simon Bright (Set Decoration)
- Les Misérables, Eve Stewart (Production Design); Anna Lynch-Robinson (Set Decoration)
- Life of Pi, David Gropman (Production Design); Anna Pinnock (Set Decoration)
- Lincoln, Rick Carter (Production Design); Jim Erickson (Set Decoration)
BEST ANIMATED SHORT FILM
- Adam and Dog, Minkyu Lee
- Fresh Guacamole, PES
- Head over Heels, Timothy Reckart and Fodhla Cronin O’Reilly
- Maggie Simpson in “The Longest Daycare”, David Silverman
- Paperman, John Kahrs
BEST LIVE-ACTION SHORT FILM
- Asad, Bryan Buckley and Mino Jarjoura
- Buzkashi Boys, Sam French and Ariel Nasr
- Curfew, Shawn Christensen
- Death of a Shadow (Dood van een Schaduw), Tom Van Avermaet and Ellen De Waele
- Henry, Yan England
BEST SOUND EDITING
The two bolded titles aren’t a mistake — this was called as a tie, with Oscars going to both films. That was weird. The sixth tie in Oscar history.
- Argo, Erik Aadahl and Ethan Van der Ryn
- Django Unchained, Wylie Stateman
- Life of Pi, Eugene Gearty and Philip Stockton
- Skyfall, Per Hallberg and Karen Baker Landers
- Zero Dark Thirty, Paul N.J. Ottosson
BEST SOUND MIXING
- Argo, John Reitz, Gregg Rudloff and Jose Antonio Garcia
- Les Misérables, Andy Nelson, Mark Paterson and Simon Hayes
- Life of Pi, Ron Bartlett, D.M. Hemphill and Drew Kunin
- Lincoln, Andy Nelson, Gary Rydstrom and Ronald Judkins
- Skyfall, Scott Millan, Greg P. Russell and Stuart Wilson
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
- The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Joe Letteri, Eric Saindon, David Clayton and R. Christopher White
- Life of Pi, Bill Westenhofer, Guillaume Rocheron, Erik-Jan De Boer and Donald R. Elliott
- Marvel’s The Avengers, Janek Sirrs, Jeff White, Guy Williams and Dan Sudick
- Prometheus, Richard Stammers, Trevor Wood, Charley Henley and Martin Hill
- Snow White and the Huntsman, Cedric Nicolas-Troyan, Philip Brennan, Neil Corbould and Michael Dawson