As TMNT fans the world over enjoy the unique warm feeling that comes from slowly-building nerd rage, the Film That Should Not Be has cast yet another role:
That’s Danny Woodburn, known to mundanes for recurring roles on Seinfeld and Bones, and to nerddom for an excellent cameo as diminutive crime boss and Rorschach nemesis Big Figure in Zack Snyder’s Watchmen (he was also in one of my favorite movies of all time: Death To Smoochy). Woodburn will be portraying Master Splinter, according to The Hollywood Reporter, shattering my hopes that they’d make the Turtles’ rodent mentor tall and badass like in the new Nickelodeon series. In any case, he’s too good for this crap sandwich – kinda like how John Turturro was too good for the Transformers films.
In other Bayturtles news, Alan Ritchson, the reboot’s new Raphael, had some words for (again) THR regarding the experience of making this….well, “contentious” film:
“We are shooting. It’s been an interesting process, this live-action-motion-capture thing. There’s just a lot of technology involved so there’s some kinks to work out. So we’ve had some trial runs, we’ve started shooting some. We’re also in this phase right now that is sort of developmental….We’re learning a lot of the fight choreography. We’ve got these unbelievable stunt trainers that work us every day to the bone. It’s been a great process. We’ll pick back up with principal photography soon.”
And there’s more: Apparently he’s distressed by the reputation his movie has already earned itself on the internet…y’know, due to articles like this one:
“The frustrating thing for me since I’ve signed on is that you hear that it’s already got a reputation, this movie that hasn’t come out yet. I think people assume they know what it’s going to be about, and those people are wrong. The assumptions, everything you read online is wrong and it’s frustrating because you want to tell everybody how great it is, and you can’t really say why, but it is. It’s so much better than people think and it’s going to look way better than anybody can imagine. I can’t wait for people to see this. I think it’s going to live up to and exceed everybody’s boyhood dreams of being a Ninja Turtle. I grew up with it too and I want to see it come to life in the best way possible.”
In other words: Everything I’m telling you, and every other writer on pretty much every website like this has been telling you, is wrong….and I’ve wasted both your time and my own by writing this.
Here’s Ritchson’s full interview with THR, in case you have a yen to see and hear him explain why I don’t know what I’m talking about.