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You should know, I took this story merely for the puny headline. Now that I have satisfied my witticism, I can dance a sigh of relief knowing Summit’s Highlander reboot has put another nail in it’s coffin.

A few years back, Summit Entertainment entertained (pun intended) the idea of rebooting Highlander; the 1986 pop culture flick about a centuries old sword-swinging Scotsman fighting for his immortality. Justin Lin was attached early on, but departed in 2011 so he could make Fast and Furious 6. Director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo had hopped in 2012 for a bit, but rolled out right fucking quick per creative disputes. The script itself even passed a few hands. Art Marcum and Matt Holloway (Iron Man) dreamt up first draft, then Melissa Rosenberg (Twilight) was brought on for rewrites in 2011. The most recent draft was penned by Noah Oppenheim. Who?

Despite the project being tossed around like a piece of shit at a dung beetle convention, it somehow caught the attention of  Ryan Reynolds. I guess because, you know, he clearly hasn’t played enough super heroes? Had he stayed with the project, he would have played the lead of Connor MacLeod, who was portrayed by Christopher Lambert in the 1986 original. To the chagrin of no one, he passed on the project. Apparently Reynolds got tired of waiting around for Summit to lock down a committed director, so he said (paraphrasing) “see ya later”.

According to The Wrap, Reynolds departure means Summit will be wiping the slate clean and start from square one. New script, new director and new staff.

To that I say, let us all hold a summit (that’s my final pun, I swear) at Summit Entertainment. We blast the Queen Sound track to the 1986 Highlander until the studio heads lose their heads and forfeit this god forsaken reboot.

To Ryan Reynolds I say: Please stop this nonsense. Make everyone happy and go fucking make Deadpool already!

Category: Film

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