Get Ready Detroit! Superman is Coming!


The city of Detroit has endured ceaseless hardships — the loss of Axel Foley, the early retirement of Barry Sanders, a 16% unemployment rate, a monster feral hellcat, and bankruptcy — but now, now they will face their greatest challenge in the form of Superman.

Yes, the untitled Man of Steel sequel, aka the Batman/Superman project, will film in and around Detroit, Michigan according to the Michigan Film Office.

Here’s an excerpt from the press release:

“Detroit is a great example of a quintessential American city, and I know it will make the perfect backdrop for our movie,” stated filmmaker Zack Snyder. “Detroit and the entire state of Michigan have been fantastic collaborators, and we are looking forward to working together on this film.”

The as-yet-untitled feature film was awarded an incentive of $35 million on $131 million of projected in-state expenditures. The production is expected to hire 406 Michigan workers, with a full time equivalent of 426 jobs, plus an additional 6,000 man/days of extra work. The production anticipates using approximately 500 local Michigan vendors during the course of production and spending $5.1 million on local hotels, as well as an additional $3.5 million in out-of-town cast and crew per diem payments that will be spent in the local economy but which fall outside of the incentive program.

So basically, the Warner Bros. (Todd, Marty) are gonna spend a lot of money in Michigan to film this movie, bringing in jobs and some much needed economic stimulus to the area. Some will say that this is a good thing. They’ll say that even though this is a band-aid on a bullet wound (or multiple bullet wounds), that every little bit helps and that this is a step in the right direction.

To me, fellow Bastards and Bastardettes, this is shortsighted and also bullshit.

Ask the city of Metropolis if they feel economically stimulated with a crater in the middle of their city and laser burns all up and down the walls of their pretty museums. Oh yeah, you can’t, Superman killed 97% of them.

It is gross and irresponsible for the state of Michigan and the city of Detroit to invite malignancy into their lives. To be clear, I am not talking about Zack Snyder, but rather, Superman, who is an unhinged, malevolent monster who likes the sound that his boots make when he is walking on the bones of the innocent.

Yes, Batman will be on the set, but is he going to be enough to stop this alien threat? He’s just a guy in a costume, he isn’t a superhero. Personally, I think the city oughta bring in RoboCop, Jericho “Action” Jackson, Eminem, Detective’s Danny Basset and Jesse Williams, Dennis Rodman, the ghost of Alex Karras, and the old guy from Gran Torino to team up with Batman and keep the city safe.

If Michigan and Detroit do this and spend some of that Warner Bros. money on building this dope-assed group of tough motherfuckers a fly hangout, they MAY have a chance at stomping out this threat.


Source: Coming Soon… there it is.

Category: Film

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