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Christian Bale

Because the soon-to-be former Time Lord and big chin having lady killer is going to need a sharp chopping tool for all the psychotic killer-y things that are sure to go down when he takes the stage for an upcoming musical that should be very familiar to fans of the 80s, slasher films, and Huey Lewis and the News.

Look how I enticed you into clicking on this article. I’m like the Pied Piper of words about movie and TV things. Anyway, do you remember… the original American Psycho? Of course you do; Christian Bale playing an uber-yuppie ax-murderer in the slicked back 80s, working with Mary Harron, who adapted the script off of a Bret Easton Ellis novel. Hell, I even remember the poorly constructed Mila Kunis starring direct to video sorta-sequel that was directed by Morgan Freeman. Honestly, the hurt doesn’t show from that movie, but the pain still grows.

One has to assume that this will be a bit better. For one thing, Smith is surely ready to go a bit capital A-dult after spending the last few years tripping the life fantastic with his buxom space buddies (I’m looking right at you, Darvill) in the PG and PG-13 adventures of Doctor Who, and for another thing, everything is better with a little song and dance. Glee taught us all that.

Speaking of Glee, Robert Aguirre-Sacasa — who is wearing his playwright hat to adapt this for the stage — has done time writing around bad pop songs before as a writer and producer on that show, and he’s also the guy behind the Carrie remake script, which means that he’s got experience with both the maiming of songs and people.

matt smith

Aguirre-Sacasa is also bringing zombies to the land of Jughead in Archie Comics (and Archie Comics to the big screen) as well, but in the world of the theater, he is known as one of the co-writers of the seemingly cursed Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark production that had a handful of injuries when it started up in New York. Here’s hoping any residual bad juju from that project stays far away from the the chainsaw staircase musical number in American Psycho.

As for the director, Rupert Goold has the honor of putting that in embossed letters on a thick a luscious cotton stock business card… mmm mmmmm MMMMM I fucking love stationary!

So, do you think it would be cool to see Matt Smith shoot someone in the head with a sonic nail gun or choke a hooker to death with a bow tie while Phil Collins croons on cassette in the background? Unless you live in England, that is too freaking bad because Matt Smith’s performance is set to premiere at the Alameida Theater in London on December 3rd and there is NO WAY YOU’LL BE ABLE TO HOP A BOAT ACROSS THE ATLANTIC IN TIME!!!

Source: Bleeding Cool, Clotting Poorly

Category: Film

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