Universal Studios Hollywood Presents: ‘Bill &Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure’…Because They Hate You
How’s this for a mash-up?
Bill and Ted travel to the land of Oz where they meet Gay Superman, the crew of the USS Enterprise, General Zod, Wreck-It Ralph, Amanda Bynes, and the ghost of late Glee star Cory Monteith (in the form of a tornado).
This could have been absurdly awesome–instead, the producers decided to go in another direction, and put on a show offensive to every moral, ethical, artistic, and simply HUMAN sensibility imaginable. Maybe they thought they were being “edgy” or “outrageous” by producing a show designed to offend every group possible–in sort of a South Park-esque manner…
What they were oblivious of is insensitivity is never in itself clever or entertaining unless it has a purpose: Usually to point out hypocrisy or bring down societal “sacred cows”. Hate simply for the sake of hate is never enjoyable.
And that’s clearly what we have here: A witch turns Superman into a mincing stereotype that would offend the Westboro Baptist Church, Wreck-It Ralph is apparently there for sex jokes about his name, and isn’t it a little early to rip on poor Cory Monteith? I’m no Gleek, but DUDE! Wait til the body’s cold, for fuck’s sake!
This abomination is apparently part of a yearly series of Universal Studios Hollywood Halloween live events called Halloween Horror Nights. Now before this I’d never heard of Halloween Horror Nights–which leads me to believe the previous shows were relatively benign….
But this thing….
I’m gonna leave you with what Bill & Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure insists is a joke. I’ll be directly quoting Vice.com‘s marvelous review of this nightmare–because I don’t hate myself enough to come up with my own words to describe…..THIS:
For instance, there’s a scene where a Sharknado appears and Kim Jong-un comes on to the stage to explain that the Sharknado came into existence as a result of Kristen Stewart sucking his dick too hard. After he said this, the audience laughed. Unless I’m missing something, this is meant to be funny because:
1) It references Kristen Stewart
2) It references Kim Jong-un
3) It references sex
4) It references Sharknado
(courtesy of Jamie Lee Curtis Taete)
For those of you who made it this far without clawing out your eyes, here’s a quick look at what Universal Studios Hollywood did to poor Superman:
(And no: I will NOT be providing dates or showtimes…if you have the self-loathing necessary to want to endure this, find out when it’s playing for yourself)