Michael Bay has taken to the Internet to bring order to a troubled universe. I don’t know about you, but I haven’t gotten a wink of sleep since finding out that Bay had apologized for making the first three Transformers films so “Goofy,” it was like nothing made sense any more. Bay must have heard about my tormented night terrors and decided to do something.Here’s what Bay had to say on his website about the whole apology thing:

It is a drag talking to reporters on sets. Why? Because often times they take your words and skew things to their liking. Then the crazy, lazy game of reporting on what other writers story’s reported me saying and suddenly it becomes skewed Internet truth. So I waste my time to restate exactly what I did say, again.

No I did not ‘apologize’ for any Transformers movies. I did not say I shot the last three movies “less cool” than the new fourth installment. I was talking specifically about camera style and tone, of the first movie compared to how I shot the new installment with a very big scale, cinematic style. I was very specific in saying the first Transformers was shot in a ‘generic suburbia’ area, not trying to be cool with any cinematic flashes. I wanted it to feel like this could happen in any backyard in the United States.

So that brings me to letting Transformers fans know that we have completed our five and half month shoot. We got back from a month long shoot in China. My crew and I had a fantastic time shooting in Hong Kong and Mainland China. It was an amazing experience, and I love the country. My cast was absolutely fantastic, and a very fun group to work with. We are working hard cutting the movie right now. I think the first piece comes out for the Super Bowl and a teaser right after that.

And yes, I’m very excited about this new movie.


There you have it, all it right in the World of Bay. Things will explode left and right, and the CGI robots will emote more emotion than any of the human actors involved. Yeah, I’m talking about you Marky Mark . . . say hi to your mother for me.

Don’t worry, we’ll all still be squirming in our theater seats as a flurry of robot testicle jokes are repeatedly smacked into our chins, all accompanied by a healthy dose of racial robot stereotypes. I wonder which ethnic group will get a pair of dirty mouthed robots this time around.

So hold unto your proverbial hats readers, Bay is dialing up the serious dial to eleven. That’s right, he’s not just changing the dial so that 10 is the same as eleven. That wouldn’t make any sense would it?

Now, as part of that crazy lazy reporting group, what can we do with that last part of his statement . . .

And yes, I’m very excited about this new movie.

Hmm . . . I’ve got it ! ! !

Michael Bay to Enter Rehab After Working Himself into Frenzied State While Working on New Transformers Movie ! ! !

Man . . . I hope he can work through those issues and get himself the help he needs . . . now I’ve just got to get a couple of actors on the red carpet to blindly comment good wishes for Bay’s rehab hopes.

Via: Blastr

Category: Film

Tags: , ,