You know what, kids? In another year it will be 2015, and I don’t know about you, but I ain’t got no flying car or hover board. My local diner still has a human wait staff and I don’t have a fax machine in every room of my house (let alone the closets). Heck, my ties till has only a single knot in it! Frankly, I don’t know if we can take another hit in our belief that Back to the Future Part II was a prophetic work, but an internet fan has pointed out even more reason to be concerned.
A Tumblr user called Ctrayn has realized that we’re still about 15 movies short of achieving next year’s release date for Jaws 19. You’ll remember that Marty McFly, while in the future, sees a cinema advertising the 18th sequel to Steven Spielberg‘s 1975 hit Jaws, which in 1989 seemed, at least, plausible. But since Jaws: The Revenge sank the franchise in ’86, and no one has the balls (yet) to attempt to remake the original film, the film count for Jaws has remained at four for nearly 30 years.
And seriously folks, how are we supposed to live in a world where Back to the Future didn’t give us the exact number of Jaws movies to be released by 2015?!
So how do we address this nagging issue? Ctrayn points out that the standard minimum length for a feature film is 40 minutes, so theoretically, the independent filmmaking community could take it upon themselves to make 15 40 minute films over the course of the next year. Blastr, meanwhile, suggests that maybe we can take all those SyFy shark movies like Sharknado, Shark Week, Sharktopus and the recent Avalanche Sharks, and re-name them along the lines of “Jaws 5: Sharknado,” et al. That seems kind of like cheating, but we are working under a deadline here.
Of course, no matter how many shark movies get made between now and then, there’s still one issue: Max Spielberg will probably not be directing Jaws 19. For all I know, only two of the six Spielberg children are in showbiz, his step-daughter Jessica Capshaw is an actress and his daughter Sasha is in a band. Somehow I doubt Max is going to get into the business just to make an Easter egg in Back to the Future Part II a reality, so if we are to get to Jaws 19, it will be up to the indie film community, I think, to get us there. As for the holographic shark as depicted above, you’re on your own.