I thought Kevin Smith was going to retire?
First, his hockey picture was just that — one picture. Then it became a miniseries (and I think switched back to being a standalone movie?). Subsequently, news broke of a Clerks III script (that could possibly end up on Broadway — wait no, that was utter bullshit). In-between, he somehow came to serve the diligent anti-diletante fans of his who could afford a cable subscription (snoochies and boochies be expensive y’all). Currently, he’s finishing up production on Tusk, his follow-up to the 2011 horrific hack job, Red State. It’s almost as hard as keeping up with Tarantino rumors when he was churning out a new potential project seemingly every other week (though not nearly as interesting, as QT is actually talented). Now comes the announcement of Anti-Claus, yet another horror project that will re-team the Jersey Devil with the cast of his yet-to-be-seen Tusk (Justin Long, Haley Joel Osment, Genesis Rodriguez and Michael Parks). The only good news I can glean from this announcement? It will delay the production of future turd-burger Clerks III for at least a little while longer.
Initially titled Comes the Krampus (which I have to assume was changed due to the impending easy jokes that would be made after the first test-screenings and beyond), Anti-Claus tells the tale of:
“…the centuries-old, devil-like creature known the world-over as the Krampus – the “Anti-Claus” of Alpine country folklore, infamous for eating naughty children during the season of giving.”
I guess Smith’s assuming the goofballs who still give his movies the time of day haven’t seen Rare Exports, Christmas Evil, Saint or Javier Bardem’s amazing speech in the middle of Michael Mann’s Collateral. To give him credit, at least he knows his fans aren’t exactly punctilious cinephiles.
Production is slated to begin on Anti-Claus this September, with SFX legend Robert Kurtzman lending a hand in the creation of the film’s titular creature. Tusk (which is being distributed by A24 in the US and XYZ Films abroad) is still without a release date. I can only hope against hope that it somehow remains as such.