In the quest (har har) to provide us with as much “geek friendly” entertainment as possible, a new type of series has been created for those who enjoy The Amazing Race just as much as they do D&D. Recently, the Execs. at ABC released the transcripts (which I’ve then translated into screenplay form below) of their brainstorming session regarding the new “Fantasy Reality” series The Quest. Fair warning, while the show might be “family-friendly”, the pow-wow in which it was originally conceived certainly was not.
INT. ABC CONFERENCE ROOM — DAY
Four ABC DEVELOPMENT EXECS sit around a long table, all somewhat drunk following a relaxing lunch at The Palm. One young hipster Exec., CHADWICK BUMBLEBOTTOM (30s), gets struck by a brilliant idea.
Yo…that Game of Thrones series is off the hook. Know what we should do?
The rest of the Execs. sit up in their chairs, like monkeys at the zoo who have just been teased with a banana from an observing child.
Cross that shit with Survivor and turn it into a reality series! We’ll call it The Quest!
The rest of the TV Execs. let out a hearty CHEER and begin slapping five. Chad hops up on the table and begins dancing. One of the suits gets so caught up in the moment that he strips himself of his slacks and begins masturbating furiously.
(while pouring Blue Label over his head)
WAIT ‘TIL WE CUT A TRAILER! THOSE IDIOTS WILL LOSE THEIR FUCKING MINDS!
The masturbating Exec. lets out a primitive scream before hurling himself out the window. The party stops suddenly.
Call the mailroom. We need to replace Bob.
Here’s the trailer for the “unscripted” ABC series, premiering July 31, which has a official synopsis that reads as such:
“Great fantasy is filled with adventure, challenges, discovery, fish out of water and good vs. evil — turns out, another modern genre shares these exact same traits. Announcing ‘The Quest,’ a reality show that literally takes contestants and audiences to an amazing, imaginative realm, where the ogres are advancing in the woods, the dragons are stirring, agents of a dark lord are infiltrating the keep, and the only thing that stands between peace and chaos are 12 very unlikely heroes. From the producers of ‘The Lord of the Rings’ trilogy, paired with the producers of ‘The Amazing Race,’ ‘The Quest’ is a fully immersive experience. In and around this castle, our fantasy realm comes to life with state-of-the art projections, animatronics, prosthetics, real-time motion capture and art direction. The narrative and mythology of “The Quest” is deep and fully imagined, and it was designed to incorporate seamlessly with the unexpected actions and decisions of our contestants – fantasy comes alive as it never has before in this genre-bending series.”
Source: Coming Soon