Since the last page of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, fans have been understandably curious as to what future fate the gang from Hogwarts has, and while fanfic has rushed in to fill the void (across the spectrum of acceptability for all-ages reading), there hasn’t been much in the way of canon aside from a few thoughts offered by author J.K. Rowling. Well good news because Rowling has opened up her word processor for a new Potter short, and it gives fans everywhere a little taste of the world of Potter and Co. between the Battle of Hogwarts and epilogue in Deathly Hallows, which is set almost 20 years later.

The short story, which can be found on the Pottermore website, takes the form of a gossip column written by the Perez Hilton of the wizarding world, Rita Skeeter. Apparently Ms. Skeeter is firing-proof considering that she’s still employed by the Daily Prophet 15 years after being a willingly  mouthpiece for the dark forces running magical Britain, and she can apparently attack other Prophet reporters in her column with impunity as well. Still, kudos to Rowling for doing so much fan service through the vehicle of Skeeter’s poison pen (you can practically hear Miranda Richardson‘s narration).

If you don’t want to read the story, or save it for a rainy day, or just can’t because the friggin’ Pottermore site keeps crashing as so many people want to read it, we’ll cover the basics with a Q&A:

1) When does it take place?

  • The story is a report from the Quiddich World Cup in Patagonia apparently sometime before Harry Potter’s 34th birthday. Since The Deathly Hallows ended about a month before Harry turned 18, that means that this story takes place just over 16 years after the Battle of Hogwarts and the final defeat of Voldemort.

2) So what, he’s just chillin’ at the Quiddich World Cup?

  • Sort of. One of the details is that Harry has taken his sons James and Albus (whereabouts of daughter Lily unrevealed) to meet his fellow Triwizard Tournament competitor Viktor Krum. Apparently, the two embrace like old comrades and are still on friendly terms, Skeeter smells a rat though.

3) What’s Harry up to these days?

  • He’s an Auror, the FBI of the wizarding world responsible for the pursuit, arrest and detainment of dark wizards. As per Rita’s description of the thirtysomething Potter, “there are a couple of threads of silver in the famous Auror’s black hair, but he continues to wear the distinctive round glasses that some might say are better suited to a style-deficient twelve-year-old.” Harry also has a second scar now, one on his cheek that he gained, presumably while on the job. Rita smells a conspiracy. Or home trouble.

4) Yes, where is Ginny, AKA: Mrs. Harry Potter?

  • Busy. Ginny’s a sports reporter for the Prophet and thus on the job, covering the World Cup. Or as Rita puts it, “The jury is out on whether she really had the talent or experience to be sent to the Quidditch World Cup (jury’s back in – no!!!)” That’s a bit like Nancy O’Dell calling Bob Costas a hack, but I digress.

5) How about Ron and Hermoine, where are they?

  • In the neighboring tent at the World Cup campgrounds of course. Ron co-manages Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes with his brother George, and Hermoine, predictably, has climbed the ladder with tremendous speed to become the Deputy Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, while also being a mom to Hugo and Rose Weasley. Is Rita impressed? “Does Hermione Granger prove that a witch really can have it all? (No – look at her hair.)” Ouch.

6) Any other Weasleys mentioned?

  • Percy currently sits as the Head of the Department of Magical Transportation, Charlie still works with dragons, and has yet to marry, while Bill and Fleur are still happily married. Their activity is most suspicious to Rita, which probably confers the Weasleys with the status of being the Kennedys of the wizarding world.

7) Who else gets named dropped?

  • Luna Lovegood was able to find someone who gets her, she’s married to Rolf Scamander, who according to Rita is the “swarthy grandson of celebrated Magizoologist Newt.” Luna and Rolf have two unnamed twin boys. Neville ended up married to Hannah Abbott and the two of them currently work at Hogwarts together, Neville as the herbology professor and Hannah as a healer. Teddy Lupin, Harry’s god son, is also mentioned, described by Rita as “a lanky half-werewolf with bright blue hair.”  He’s apparently a bit of a wild child in Rita’s view, and is involved in what looks like a pretty hot and heavy romance with Victoire Weasley, Bill and Fleur’s daughter.

Well, those are the highlights. What did you Bastards think of the short story? Want to read more? Better than fanfic? Sound off below.

Source: Popwrapped

Category: Film, Nerd Culture

Tags: , , ,