Steven Moffat says a lot of things. Just the other day, he said ‘Hobbit’ director Peter Jackson was in talks to direct a Doctor Who episode almost for free. As Head Writer and showrunner of a popular series, he’d know about that better than anyone. He also knows about sexism, and often feels free to brag about his many sexual conquests. When you’re Head Writer and showrunner for a popular series, you’re bound to get a few of those too. Yeah, Steven Moffat talks a lot. People who talk a lot give useful interviews. Just ask SFX Magazine who recently sat down with our verbal stud and got him to sound off on the numbering of all 13 Doctors. It seems Mr. Moffat believes there was only 1 Doctor all along. Or something.
During the sit-down, he said: “I’m just going to throw this continuity grenade back at Doctor Who fans and say, ‘You are all wrong!” in addressing whether or not the Doctor has ever referred to himself as the ‘nth’ anything. Sounds like he’s got very strong opinions on the subject. And I mean the word ‘opinions’ in an “I’m right and you’re wrong” type of context.
“If the Doctor was a real person and walked in here, and you said, “Which incarnation are you?” he’d have to think, just as you’d have to think about how many houses you’ve lived in. He never thinks of himself as a numbered Doctor. The Twelfth Doctor means the twelfth actor to have played the lead in Doctor Who. That’s all it means. There is no such character as the Twelfth Doctor and never has been.
“It’s a long time into the show before any such nonsense ever comes up. It’s purely us lot, us fans, wittering on about calling him the Third or the Fourth Doctor – which is actually quite an unpleasant thing to do. It doesn’t feel right at all when you type that. I had to do that for the [50th] special. It was the Tenth Doctor, the Eleventh Doctor, and it felt like a betrayal, in a way. But what else could you do?
“Out of curiosity I looked at what they did in “The Five Doctors”. They didn’t number them at all. Do you know what they called them? The Hartnell Doctor, the Pertwee Doctor…”
Moffat the sexual tyrannosaurus has always hated numbers. He ranted about this very subject in 2013 to the BBC’s Official Doctor Who TV series website. Somehow or another he’s going to get his point across and we’re just gonna bob our heads to it. And you’d think that after proclaiming how the only good number is a dead one, he just went on and on and on. To wit – on the new relationship with his human companion Clara, the Doctor’s not really in – “from a Doctor she could sort of control, because he had a crush on her, she’s landed with a Doctor who barely registers that she’s a girl. They’re great friends and all that but she has to be his human interface with everybody else”.
And then Moffat said, “Oh by the way, here’s what happens in EVERY SINGLE EPISODE OF THE NEW SEASON!”
Hey Doc, I bite my nails when I’m worried too. I remember this one time in high school when I was dating two girls at once, I was always worried that some big mouth would tell my business and totally block my game. Granted, I wasn’t dressed like a chimney sweeper from Mary Poppins, but my nails were a mess. Chim Chim Cheree, indeed.
I’m not even going into the episode teases, but I’m in total disagreement with Moffat’s disdain for numbering Doctor’s. All the Doctors are completely aware of their separate bodies and experiences and some of them don’t even like each other! How can the same guy not like himself?? The first Doctor took one look at 2 & 3 and said “So, you’re my replacements. A dandy and a clown.” No, they don’t call each other 1, 2, 3, 4 and so forth – we do. But since they only get thirteen incarnations per lifespan, it makes total sense that the Doctor’s keep track of their own regenerations, and hence their numbers. God! I can’t believe I have to teach Steven Moffat how to nerd his own series!
I’d better go before I write this guy a harsh email. The ‘Doctor Who’ Series 8 premiere airs on Saturday, August 23 at 8PM. Here’s a video that shows all 13 regenerations. Yes, I said it – 13.