text first

I can’t say that Groot was my favorite character in that stellar opus ‘Guardians Of The Galaxy,’ but I’d love to have him as a friend. I imagine he’d be a fantastic listener. Reaching out to the happening sapling would be easy as pie. He could nod in understanding, give my shoulder a good pat and respond with kind eyes. Our timbered comrade is the type of guy who won’t screen my calls. He’d pick up asap because he genuinely values friendship as a priceless gift. In a perfect world, cell phone towers would sprout from the moon and bridge signals across planets, allowing me to give him a shout with no dropped calls! I could text him a simple, “hey buddy!” whenever I felt like it and he’d immediately respond back with an epic: “I am Groot.” In fact, he just did.


As much as I’d like to horde his friendship and keep it all to myself, I’m willing to share with you guys. Groot’s phone number is (866) 740-4531 and his burner’s been blowing up since word got out that he’s connected. We’ve been texting each other all morning, just shooing the shit. He’s a good dude. But of course since he doesn’t live around here, he’s had a little help recently in setting up phone service. The story goes like this…

Developer Ricky Robinett did the world a solid by hooking us up with a way to chat with Groot and now he’s bragging about it all over Twitter. As well he should! I asked Groot about it and he very enthusiastically said he was Groot, and no one can argue with that! Everybody’s bothering him now, and because he’s such a great guy, he’s responded to over 60,000 messages so far. Even ‘Guardians’ director James Gunn is in on it.


60K! I hope he got the unlimited plan. Me? I’m broke and cheap, so TextNow is springing for all my deep talks with the wooded wingman. Here’s something for you, Mr. Robinett. You really wanna impress me? Hook up Gamora with cell service. And then just give her number to me. Don’t go tweeting about it, don’t hand it out to folks. I’ve got the sweets for her something powerful! Maybe because I’m a ‘Star Trek’ fan. Green chicks make me look like a cartoon wolf, panting with my eyes popping out and tongue wagging to the ground. That’s why I left New York City – the shortage of green women! Granted folks, this entire article only works if you’ve seen the movie. If you haven’t, just jump your goofy ass out the window.

Via – Tech Crunch

Category: Cool Stuff, Film, Nerd Culture, WTF?

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