Captain America, Thor, The Black Widow, Iron Man, The Hulk, and that guy with the arrows – together they are Earth’s Mightiest Heroes! Their combined forces have managed to keep a lid on plot details for their sophomore blockbuster attempt where they face the Ultron and the Olsen Twins (no, the other ones). However the Agents of N.E.R.D. B.A.S.T.A.R.D.S have managed to secure new details that could change everything we know about this clandestine sequel. My fellow nerds, many Bothans died for this information…
Keeping with the tradition of such cinematic masterpieces as Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, the next Avengers film will open with a bang! Empire Magazine (via Movieweb) reports that the opening sequence of Avengers: Age of Ultron will focus on the team’s mission to jack up Hydra’s Baron Von Strucker (played by the hottest German alive, Thomas Kretschmann). This of course wraps up the giant gapping plot hole from Captain America: Winter Soldier where we left Von Strucker in his hoarder-esque basement with Loki’s staff and Magneto’s alimony check.
Empire Magazine goes on to share:
“As Star is flying the shit, [Robert ]Downey Jr. goes and sits in the pilot’s seat. [Jeremy] Renner lies down on a table in the middle of the jet and clutches his stomach while a fake drip is attached to his arm. It’s clear that, whatever went down at Von Strucker’s, it has left the Avenger’s ace archer in considerable distress.
As the dialogue plays out, it becomes clear that [Mark Ruffalo’s] Bruce Banner has Hulked out, or what he calls a “code green,” during the assault on Strucker’s fortress, and is deeply troubled by it. [Scarlett Johansson’s] Natasha tries to reassure him – “If you hadn’t been there, there would have been double the casualties.” Banner grimaces, and replies with “You know, sometimes exactly what I want to hear isn’t exactly what I want to hear.”
Seeking back-up, Natasha turns to [Chris Hemsworth’s] Norse god. ‘Thor, report on the Hulk?’ she asks. Hemsworth immediately lights up and lets rip with a rousing tribute to all the violence unleashed by the Hulk, filled with works like ‘screams’ and ‘victims’ and ‘whimpering.’ Seeing that it has the opposite effect to that intended on Banner, the God of Thunder turns God of Blunter, stammering and stumbling, digging himself deeper into a hole.”
For all you burgeoning nerds out there, that’s called a Whedonesque scene, taken straight from Buffy 101. Joss Whedon has turned out to be a really good action movie director, but his strength is-and-always-shall-be his ability to write a damn good script. It’s no wonder our communities wept when he recently shared he was likely not to return to direct Avengers: Infinity Wars. It was as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. Maybe he’ll finally make that Fray movie we keep vision-boarding about.
Avengers: Age of Ultron opens on May 1st, 2015