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Game-of-Thrones-Season-4-Episode-1-Tyrion-Sansa

“Nice being married to you. I’m leaving the country.”

In a perfect world, I’d be in charge and everybody would be singing carols to my name after I invented the ‘Game Of Thrones’ theme park. The games would be varied, like…‘Arrest Tyrion!’ where you chase a little person around and try to put chains on the bastard. Carry a tree around like The Mountain did the other day. Or try ‘Ew, Daddy Poops.’ In that match, you attempt to guess which crapper out of 4 that Tywin Lannister is doing his business in. Then there would be ‘Sullied Or Not Sullied?’ That’s where you ask a contestant sexual questions like, ” Can you describe what boobs feel like?” And if they don’t know the answers, then they’re “unsullied” and have to get their junk chopped off. That’s a bad idea. Now everyone knows why I’m not in charge. Oh well…Pop Up Restaurant then.

I spend a lot of time trying to make people think that I’m smarter than I actually am. But today, I’m gonna be the first to tell you that I have no idea what the hell a “pop up” restaurant even is. Why do we have to be popping up all over the place? Isn’t food just awesome enough by itself? And do they have Pop Tarts at these pop ups? Will 3rd Bass be there rocking ‘Pop Goes The Weasel?’ This whole thing is unquestionably better left out of my hands, so here’s a copy/paste type joint from somebody who probably also acts smarter than they really are. Yes, you THR:

“The lavish All Men Must Dine experience has been created by HBO to celebrate the release of the fourth season on DVD and Blu-ray in the U.K. Working in conjuction pop-up food specialists with The Wandering Chef, the feast will take place at the Andaz Liverpool Street Hotel and the dinner will be themed around a “private, clandestine meeting of the Small Council in King’s Landing”.

HBO promises that the lucky few competition winners who get to attend will sample “the finest delicacies Westeros has to offer.” For the moment the menu is under wraps although HBO did reveal one dish: “The Lies of Tyrion Lannister and his Proclaimed Innocence”, or poached veal tongue with beetroot, horseradish and “Oldtown Mustard”.

Sounds goddam delicious! MMMMmm, just watching one-handed Jamie try to cut a slice of turkey makes my mouth water for days and days of infrequent baths and incest! Yeah, you know you love it. Said Jamie to his sister.

jamie

To be clear, it’s not a restaurant. It’s a one-time thing for contest winners and they get to eat that up there, probably. And you know there will be hot pies and sausages too. Bring in some tits and wine and I might just compete in this thing.

Still doesn’t tell me what a pop up restaurant is. Good thing Google is my friend.

Source – The Telegraph

Category: TV

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