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I don’t know of anyone who didn’t love Guardians of the Galaxy, and luckily we’ll get another dose of our titular heroes in…uh…Gnardians of the Galaxy. Wood Rocket is producing a new porn parody of the MARVEL movie and, while all we have to go on is the poster (below) , I think it will accomplish the intended purpose.

guardiansporno

Oh, what’s that? They want us to masturbate to this? Oh, no. No no no. I thought it was meant to terrify and scar. The Gnarled wooden cock with a face, seemingly meant to be Groot, looks as though it was brought back from the dead to fulfill some grim purpose. Rocket Raccoon, as far as I can tell, is a female little person with a Rocket Raccoon mask. But hey, no one is here to judge what you fap to, guys. Unless it’s this, in which case, we might need to have a discussion. Now, I’m no stranger to these things. There was a Dark Knight XXX parody that I swear to you had better acting and writing than Nolan’s trilogy. But this is very minimal effort. Look at that Groot. Christ, man. Tomorrow, there will be an NSFW promo on Wood Rocket website, so you can decide for yourself if this parody is right for you. But c’mon. It’s not.

Category: Film, WTF?

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