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Love them or hate them, remakes/reboots/reimaginings are a way of Hollywood life.  In some cases, these updated visions are needed in order to tell a new generation of film fans a story that feels fresh while still remaining familiar to long-time fans of celluloid.  Other times, unfortunately, these remakes are basically the movie making equivalent to a villain’s “smash and grab”, in which the studios are hoping that name recognition and nostalgia are enough to bring in box office bucks before word of mouth gets around.  Every once in a while, though, a remake idea is so unnecessary that it borders on being ridiculous, and it is tough to even imagine what the movie studio is thinking.  One of those ideas is the recently announced Big Trouble in Little China reboot, starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.  The Rock has read your reactions to this horrible idea and he has a few things to say.

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When news broke last week that the John Carpenter classic, Big Trouble in Little China, would be getting the remake treatment with Johnson in the lead, the world joined together like never before to beg the San Andreas star not to touch a movie that is perfect just the way it is.  Johnson was on hand at the Spike TV Guys Choice Awards over the weekend and took some time to talk to ET on the worst reboot idea in history:

I loved reading the reactions from the fans, that they were so polarized – I’m the same way. My response is: know that I come to the project with nothing but love and respect for the original, which is why we want to bring on John Carpenter.

“Polarized” is a kind word, considering that would indicate that there are some fans on the side of the reboot, which there are not.  Dwayne, if you are reading this, please do not believe your publicist!  We love you, we really do, but NO ONE wants a Big Trouble in Little China reboot. NO ONE.

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Johnson mentions that he wants to “bring on Carpenter” but does not mention just how he plans on utilizing the movie genius.  Johnson isn’t an idiot, though, and has likely seen just how The Fog and The Thing remakes failed, so bringing on Carpenter in any capacity would be a step in the right direction (as if a “right direction” exists with this project).  And, for his part, it does appear  that The Rock does care about the source material, rather than just planning on cashing in on a classic:

I loved the original when I was younger and I loved the main character – all the characters. It felt like if we surrounded ourselves with the right group of people, the right writers who loved the movie too and wanted to honor it, bring on John Carpenter in some capacity … If we did that, then we have a shot at hopefully making something good.

Alright, Dwayne, it is easy to see your heart is in the right place and, really, we want to believe you.  Unfortunately, audiences have been bit by reboots too many times to believe that this will be anything but crap, even with The Rock’s passion for the project.  There is one thing that Johnson said that has us hopeful:

Let’s see what feels good, what we can come up with and then go from there and as we write it, if the whole thing starts to stink up, then we thank everybody for their efforts and accept this just couldn’t make it.

Dwayne, save yourself some time. I promise, the whole thing will “stink up”.

The original Big Trouble in Little China is a favorite among Carpenter’s gems.  The movie centers around an almost Han Solo-esque truck driver named Jack Burton who plays by his own rules.  Thanks to a chance encounter with some Asian gang members, Burton finds himself at the center of a centuries-long plot for an evil sorcerer to find a Chinese woman with green eyes that will break an ancient curse.  This is one of those flicks that is hard to explain and is so much better than any explanation or trailer.  Hell, I am still convinced that The 3 Storms inspired Mortal Kombat’s Kung Lao, Raiden, and Liu Kang.

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Just because, here is the original trailer.

Watching that trailer just reinforces the fact that this project needs to die and, with any luck, perhaps it will be laid to rest right next to the proposed Escape From New York remake that keeps rearing its ugly head.

Are you satisfied with The Rock’s responses?  Are you willing to see what a new Big Trouble would look like?  Can you think of a worse remake idea?

 

Source: EW

Category: Film

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