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Yet again, it’s another movie that sets my Dredd Sequel Senses screaming into the night. We can get a movie about Angry Birds from a one-dimensional point and click video game, but we can’t see Karl Urban‘s Dredd bring justice and save Mega City One from Judge Death. No… we’ve got to see this. Just click-through and watch the damn trailer, I’m to angry to write any more intro.

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They’ve gathered a great set of actors to voice the birds and pigs that includes Jason Sudeikis, Josh Gad, Danny McBride, Maya Rudolph, Kate McKinnon, Bill Hader, Peter Dinklage, Keegan-Michael Key, Tony Hale, Ike Barinholtz, Hannibal Buress, and Jillian Bell… what a waste of such talent. Just line up over there and we’ll get these checks written out.. No Josh Gad, we can’t make it out to cash.

Here’s the paper-thin plot:

The movie takes us to an island populated entirely by happy, flightless birds – or almost entirely. In this paradise, Red (Jason Sudeikis, We’re the Millers, Horrible Bosses), a bird with a temper problem, speedy Chuck (Josh Gad in his first animated role since Frozen), and the volatile Bomb (Danny McBride, This is the End, Eastbound and Down) have always been outsiders. But when the island is visited by mysterious green piggies, it’s up to these unlikely outcasts to figure out what the pigs are up to.

Yeah, I know it’s a movie made for kids and will make a ton of money at the box office, it’s a win-win-win-win situation. That last win is for the DVD and streaming sales, but I can’t help but think there could have been something, anything, that all that production money could have been thrown at… anything better than this.

I can’t even get excited that Peter Dinklage is in it because I heard his voice work on Destiny and saw what joining the cast of Pixels did for him… Oh the humanity.

I’m going to call it quits now, go put on my sweater, sit on the front porch and yell at those kids walking across my lawn.

Category: Film

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