The kind of classic film that appeals to every generation, complete with a festive setting that promises it will get fresh attention at least once a year, Home Alone has reached millions of people with its slapstick humour. There is nothing that is funny in quite the same way as watching an apparently innocent child show a couple of textbook bad guys who’s really in charge. Macauley Culkin’s Kevin McCallister has likely been responsible for a lot of damage across the world caused by pranks inspired by his attempt to defend his home from intruders.
The childlike yet slightly sadistic part in all of us that was awed and delighted by Kevin’s antics was born of a faint yearning to be able to pull off that kind of stunt in real life. But that same part was never too concerned with the real world ramifications. Perhaps if it was, it would’ve been less satisfied with the innocent movie’s lack of blood and gore.
Jake Roper of VSauce has released a video going through how some of Kevin’s stunts would really work and how they would impact the human body. Long story short: those burglars would’ve ended up in the morgue before they got to jail, and they certainly wouldn’t have been around long enough for a sequel.
The trick with the door handle was realistic enough in terms of what a glowing hot knob would do to human flesh, but in order to get it that hot, the door itself would’ve caught on fire long before the heat could be transferred to the outside handle. The paint cans that both baddies took to the face would have – at best – knocked them unconcious for quite some time and – at worst – snapped their necks clean in two.
The video goes into detail about how each attack would’ve impacted a person, even going so far as to graphically recreate some of the major scenes from the movie with a crash test dummy, complete with realistic puncturing lungs and snapping spine.