Ever wonder what’d be like if Full Metal Jacket was re-enacted with spot on Donald Duck impersonation? Me neither. This video is absolutely hilarious, plus it has some spot on voice on acting, with whomever does it. Just wait for him to yell out “Queers and steers!!!! Which one are you?”

via gorliiamask

(Guess Who Monday is a weekly feature here at nerdbastards where we challenge you to guess the latest known or lesser known child star of nerd pop culture from the days of yore (70’s, 80’s, 90’s), who have all grown up. Let’s see if you can figure out today’s ‘Guess Who’. )

You creepy, nasty guys have been drooling over this girl since she 12, and trying to make it seem perfectly innocent. “Oh, I’m just saying she’s a pretty girl.” “How old is she again? She looks older” “Yeah…I mean, when she’s OLDER, she’ll be hot.”

Yeah right. You are disgusting, and you’re not fooling anyone. The truth is though, the age of consent laws throughout most of the world are 12-16. USA is one of the few countries that has a high age of consent law.

In fact, Ivana Baquero, our featured ‘Guess Who’ was “legal” 3 years ago, in her home country of Spain when she turned 13, because that’s the age of consent there. But, we’re not here to talk semantics we’re here to see if you can figure out who this Spanish Lolita was famous for. Since none of you can speak Mexican (presumably) we can say the movie upfront with out any worry of you figuring things out ahead of time. The movie in question is “El laberinto del fauno” (It’s Mexican title). OK, maybe a few of you film nerds got it, but what about the rest of you? Any guess on who this dark haired lass is?

Click after the jump for the reveal.
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It’s finally happened! They’ve blended in sports with a Nerdbastard retrograde science! Imagine Star Wars mixed into The Olympics, by way of  a competitive edge to their using a blaster. Clumsy and random no more! These blasters may not be able to shoot through trooper armor, or well, even a piece of of paper, but these “laser guns” will open up a wide range of new and improved technology that can be used down the road and prove The Olympics can change with the times.

According to the BBC News, athletes competing in the pentathlon at the 2012 Summer Olympics in London will shoot laser guns rather than the traditional air pistols used in past games. The switch reduces cost, for one, since laser guns won’t use ammunition or air cartridges when fired. It will also make the sport safer, and, in turn, open it up to new venues, both indoors and out

I am now totally psyched and ready for them to take Olympic Fencing and throw in lightsabres. Yes this will certainly lead to a few deaths; but you know what that means? RATINGS people!! RATINGS!!!

Rob Spence, famed for his camera eyeball implant is seeking out an eligible young woman. Who’s a leg amputee. So he can give her a machine gun. That she will attach to her LEG, In the same vein as Planet Terror in Grindhouse. Spence is making this gun an automatic paint ball gun, which will definitely not kill a Zombie, but will make him look rediculous! (more…)

Starz television has been doing these “Bunny” renditions of great movies for a long time, and this one just caught my eye. Evil Dead 2. Ash is a bunny chasing around his severed hand and cutting monsters up with a chainsaw! What’s not lovable about Ash, and Deadites and Demons and Bunnies!!! Watch this, it’s the most terrific 30 seconds of your life.

via Starz

News about the Hobbit is like playing Telephone with 4 down syndrome kids. It is producer and assumed director Peter Jackson talking to The Dominion Post, saying that MGM and Warner Bros. are

“making progress untangling the MGM situation, so we should have certainty with The Hobbit sometime soon.”

So in a nutshell the progress is slowly but surely moving along. The thing is, but whom will take care of all this? Is Jackson gonna be they’re go to guy to answer all their problems? I think that its detrimental to the Hobbit not falling into utter disarray by keeping Jackson attached, problem is, they just can’t dump too much on his plate. He’s thin now, yes, he can eat what the serve, but do you want Peter Jackson to get morbidly obese again?! Do You?! You fucking heartless Nerdbastards!!

Ok, honestly, well I’m right there with you guys! If getting Peter Jackson looking like the incomparable X-Men Origins version of The Blob again just to bang out The Hobbit sooner than later, it has my vote.

Meanwhile, in that same article Jackson also talks a great deal about the film he’d like to make that covers the Battle of Gallipoli. The centennial anniversary of that battle will be in 2015, and Jackson suggests that would be good timing for the film. But first, he’s got Tintin 2, and (we’ll see) The Hobbit

Yeah. That’s the story of our lives. “We’ll see”.

Swordplay is a major part of a lot of movies. Anti climactic, final fights or downright dirty army vs. army brawls. But these men are usually lead or inspired by ONE amazing warrior. Or the ONE  amazing warrior has a reason to keep on fighting..This is a list of the most amazing wielders of the blade in movies.

I can’t put these in Order from 1 to 10. So what I’m gonna have to do is keep it has the The Top 10 BEST. Such as ALL of them are the best. But that won’t satisfy you all, I am required to make an actual countdown. So my hand has been moved not by me but of my pain. My pain that I can’t leave well enough alone. and even though some are better or to correct myself…Some may be better to you… I want feedback. Please send me your ideas? Anybody I’m leaving out? And please Highlander nerds, PLEASE don’t tell me Kurgan or McLeod were left out! I implore you! All they did was grunt and bang swords together…Come up with some GOOD ones.

So here are the Top 10 Best Swordsmen! These are the elite, cinematically, proficiently and charismatically.

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It’s the end of the world as we know it!! And I feel FUCKED!!

Fire tornadoes, like the one caught on this camera in Brazil 2 days ago, are caused by high winds and wildfires.
These natural occurrences can be extremely dangerous. “I haven’t see devastation of this magnitude since the Great Chipmunk Fire of 79′!!”

As a 1923 fire tornado near Tokyo proved when it killed 38,000 people in 15 minutes.
Some people call fire tornadoes ‘fire devils’ or a ‘fire whirls’ because the fast-moving fire forms a vortex that whirls across the land at speeds up to 100 miles per hour.

Looks like Charizard from Pokemon has just won a battle but at the expense of potentially thousands of deaths!! It’s also gotta make you think, the D&D spell Wall of Fire will totally decimate your Orcish enemies plus take out the temperate climate of the forest you are exploring! “Hey guys, I totally took out the Orcs!- Yeah?”Said the Ranger named Abel. ” But the forest I’ve sworn to protect is engulfed in flames!!! We need Create Water Spell asap!! What?! We don’t have a Cleric? What theFuck!”

BTW-All these clips are the same, but most have Brazilian, or no audio. I think this video makes the horrifying tornado Beautiful

I never GOT The Shining. I get all the pop culture references now, and the brilliance of the ambiance being terrifying by showing you very little. And when they did show you things, it devoured your soul. But I never loved it. Now this I can wrap my head around! Ever since in 1996 when they released Mario 64, and gave Mario that hauntingly Italian stereotype of a voice, it has been the staple of many voice over Mario jokes. This small comic strip uses the voice in a great throwback way. Last time it was this terrifying it was the Mario&Princess Sex Tape

Via technabob

There was a time where I related The Curse of Midichlorians destroying the ideology of of what it meant to be a real Jedi into a Jedi getting an STD. He was just a normal Jedi, until some dirty hooker gave him Midichlorians. I mean come on! This argument started in 1999 and will never end. There was NO reason to add that into the mix, it was like saying Hiel Hitler! In all the original Star Wars films, Han Solo, Mon Mothma , they all said “May the Force be with you” as a form of “Take it easy”.

Then Qui Gon Jinn took a sample from Annakin like checking his blood sugar, or cholesterol, and totally disregarding Obi Wan’s speech in A New Hope .

The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It’s an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.

I call Midichlorians shenanigan BULLSHIT !! And this video proves that other people share my feelings with A herpes/Not so fresh commercials, selling a product for those Sith flareups VaderEX

via toplessrobot