I consider myself the leading nerd cake expert here on Nerdbastards, with only one previous cake post under my belt, because of my vast knowledge of the c… Who am I kidding? I’m no expert, but luckily it doesn’t take one to bring you fellow nerds a slice of pun.. That didn’t even make sense. But either way, thanks to Goblinqueen, on Deviantart, we are now able to enjoy the “One Tasty Droid” cake. A Star Wars nerd’s fantasy cake outfitted with edible glitter and even a functioning light… Sad to say, I’m quite certain this isn’t the only fantasy a Star Wars nerd has involving edible glitter. But I’m not judging. Goblinqueen was even awesome enough to take it a step further and dye the inside a blue/green color to make is look like motherboards and circuitry. I know, I know. “Where is the Princess Leia boob cake”? I asked myself the exact same thing. That idea gives mays to a multitude of candle placing arrangements, all naughty. I suppose we’ll just have to wait. Or, pester her mercilessly until she concedes after breaking down from emotional stress and the shock of her financial situation after trying to pay for all the legal counseling she needed to try and file for restraining orders for internet nerds. Ahhh, but this is only fantasy, we’ll have to wait. But in the mean time we can most definitely enjoy this R2D2 cake. Although I didn’t find any other cakes in her seemingly endless pages of deviations, I did see some very talented, badass artwork. Be sure to give her a gander and Enjoy!

Source: Nerdsalad

TMNT was by far one of the best cartoons in the late 80’s to early 90’s. Now that all of us crazy kids have grown up and hopefully gotten jobs (I still haven’t) we can afford fashionable clothing that signifies a somewhat unhealthy longing to be included in a cartoon. That is why you are now able to purchase this awesome backpack from Hottopic. The bag even comes with four eye masks to hide your identity while wearing it. Now your friends, or just random people, won’t recognize you when you kick them right in the balls, or even in their vagina. *Not physically in their vagina.. shut up, you know what i meant… unless…* The masks come in the four colors that each of the turtles wore. Red- Raphael, Blue-Leonardo, Purple- Donatello, and Yellow-Michelangelo. Whoever you chose to be, wearing these accessories will allow you to kick gratuitous  amounts of ass. So buy it already, enjoy!

Source: TheDailyWhat

If you haven’t seen Toy Story then it’s too late for your life to have any meaning whatsoever. It was by far one of Pixar’s best films ever and will remain a timeless classic as far as animated films are concerned. Tim Allen’s character, Buzz Lightyear, is the exotic, new, all-the-rage toy who is able to strike awe in to all the toys that he meets. Buzz’s background story is that he is a space ranger and believes that he is lost in space or time, instead of the reality that he is just a toy. Either way you might be thinking he looks a little soft to be patrolling the galaxies and dealing with alien scum. This is where Raoni Nery comes in. He rendered a 3-D image of his own Buzz Lightyear, which is in my opinion brutal. He decided that he would combine elements of Starcraft’s Mariners and Buzz Light Year in order to create his own little “parody”.  He has done many other realistic 3-D images that are stunning, and my only complaint with this one is that I really wanted to see a battle worn Buzz. Maybe him charging his laser while he is standing atop some life form’s head. *chills* Enjoy kids!

Source: Slashfilm

Have you ever wondered what happened to America’s most infamous superheroes? Donald Soffritti has the answer. In his collection of humorous artwork featuring our long lost tight wearing crusaders, he shows us the inevitability of aging and all the unwanted, and even a little disturbing habits that come with it.  Some are fat, some are crazy, and some can’t even control their bowels. Enjoy!

Click after the jump for more art

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For many many years zombies have been depicted through film, literature, and old people… but have we really been paying attention? The answer is no. But luckily for all of you, I have. Call it paranoia or creepy that i watch the girl next door undress with binoculars. Damn it. I was trying to keep this serious. *AHEM* I have paid close attention to fictional accounts and incidents in which zombies have been encountered and I can honestly say that there are 10 tips that you, the masses, should know in order to survive a zombie apocalypse. Follow each of them closely and precisely, there should be no variation of these tips incorporated with your own. I’m a professional, well “technically” I’m not, but you can decide for yourself. If you are unsatisfied then Nerdbastards.com is willing to give you a free Sony 50″ flat screen and 3000 dollars cash. Just kidding.. Ah Damn, I’m sooo fired… But seriously, pay attention and you just might survive.

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It’s a sad fact of life that we can’t use the force. Getting someone to sleep with you would be soooo much easier. But we cannot lament over things that are out of our control. It’s okay though! Put the razor blade down! There is a new awesome release in fashion that will have the ladies/ guys (whichever you’re after) pulling your pants off in no time. I introduce to you the Vader Track Jacket. Now be the most feared nerd at your school or workplace. This thing is rocking Vader’s breastplate mechanical panel on the front as well as a short cape thing (both are detachable). For 100 dollars it’s not the best deal but this is a must have for any hardcore  Star Wars geek. Force choke not included in retail purchase. Enjoy!

Source: Dvice

As everyone now knows James Cameron’s Avatar is a huge success. I must, myself, admit that i enjoyed it thoroughly, but I was not moved enough to delve deep inside myself and find my true Na’vi. But thank god for Wisconsin nerds right? (more…)

Whenever you think of the word plasma it normally brings to mind some word that isn’t far from a synonym to destruction. Whether it’s slicing through shit like butter with a lightsaber, or sticking your neighbor’s dog with a plasma grenade (please don’t attempt… but if you do, send me video footage. JK I do not support animal cruelty whatsoever… email me..) plasma has played a pretty crucial role in nerd culture. BUT NOW, research labs are trying to create a plasma hand sanitation device?! Hold your horses you want to take something as badass as plasma and use it as a new soap? *Stupid hospitals and other service industries that need sterilized utensils and apparatuses.* Although plasma cleaning isn’t new, this is the first time it has been put to human skin (aside from those hilarious, harmless pranks in which you take plasma and singe your sleeping friends ball hair off by throwing it on his unsuspecting testicles… I can’t even redeem myself after that). Apparently it only takes four seconds to thoroughly cleanse your hands, fingers, and even underneath your fingernails. It’s so powerful it destroyed a human baby from across the world. But actually, it totally conquered this guy’s athletes foot without him even having to take off his sock. Now, i suppose that’s cool… Alright it’s actually pretty sweet. This device will astronomically increase the hygiene of the nerd world. Those of us who don’t wash after any interaction between our hand and genitals will have a new  motivation to washing our hands, and even possibly, our genitals. ENJOY!

Source: Dvice

The cult classic Sci-Fi horror movie, Aliens, *speaking of sci-fi, is anyone else appalled that the sci-fi channel has changed its logo to “SYFY”? It’s like Trix’s new spherical shape… WTF?!* has been resuscitated through Jet City Cakes. This Seattle based cake company has made quite a few interesting cakes in their day, check em out if you don’t believe me, but their homage to the fucked up creatures from Aliens pulled from H.R Giger’s painting, Necronom IV, which is credited with the design to which the original aliens were derived, is nothing short of PURE EPICNESS. I know at first glance you’re thinking ‘why are there two dicks in that cake?” but then you realize “Oh, silly me. Those are just two frightening creatures that are normally seen breaking out of human’s chests”. I don’t know how many, if any, of you are familiar with H.R Giger’s works, but they consist of frightening, mildly erotic *that might just be me*,shiny black surfaces with humanoids riddled throughout. But I KNOW that there is someone in America that is thinking “how could i possibly increase the class of my wedding? Oh! I know, I’ll get this Aliens cake!” Oh middle western America, how i adore you. All joking aside, this is badass. I’m going to have an exact replica made for my wedding day, i just hope my that girl in my basement doesn’t wake up between now and then. Thank you Flunitrazepam, for those of you who aren’t scientists its street name is rufie. Enjoy kids!!

Source: Neatorama

One of my favorite shows when i was a kid was the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. The show went straight downhill when they started adding new installments after the original ended. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t some piece of genius that Martin Scorsese directed. It was a show that happened to capture my 2-5 year old mind. I know what you’re saying, “Mason! There is no way you could possibly remember the original at that young an age!” To this I defend with “I had the first movie on VHS and still have it, also don’t be such a dick because you still live at your mom’s house!’ I’m sorry I hate it when we fight, hug? *awkward blog hug* And it’s ok, I still live at home too, but I’m underage =[… That’s beside the point. The 411 is, that’s smart lingo for information, the MMPR  consisted of five highly acrobatic teens who individually represented the colors white, red, pink, blue, yellow, and black. Sometimes for the hell of it they put a green ranger into the mix. They were lead by a wise and powerful sage Zordon who gave these teens the ability to morph into the MMPR. But i think he was terminally ill or something because he was always in this big ass crystal. *note: the crystal was not shaped like an ass* In this video that i so fatefully found on Collegehumor.com is the hilariously revealing nature of Zordon.  ENJOY!!!!

Source: CollegeHumor