Everybody wears underwear . . . at least this NerdBastard hopes so, commando is only for special occasions.

You could be in an accident for Pete’s sake.

Nerds have always shown our love by wearing and even tattooing our bodies with our favorite things. So it should be no surprise to anyone that the people who wore Batman Underoos and Spiderman pajamas growing up would want to wear their favorite superheroes, television shows, and video game underwear.

This NerdBastard is aware that no one clicked on this posting to read my words on the wonderful world of Nerdy underwear, you’re all here to ogle the undies. Go ahead and check out the gallery below for some of some of the nerdy undies available for both men and women.

Do you own a pair we’re featuring?

Which is your favorite?

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“You sank my battleship… with your alien death ray!”

Yeah, I don’t quite remember it that way either, but in their infinite wisdom Universal Studios and Hasbro decided to make a Battleship movie with massive aliens that rise up from the sea. In the spirit of that “creative” leap, I and my co-conspiritor Dev Richards wrote the synopses, the tag-lines, the titles, and even cast these four “creative” movie and board game mashups that Hollywood needs to greenlight right now. Hell, Jeremy R! Hudson and me (but mostly him) even made up some fantastic posters for the films too, so all we need is a few hundred million dollars and we can make the best board game movie spin-off since Clue (you heard me).

Monopoly: Revenge of the Fallen

Synopsis: Max Marther (actor and comic book artist Shia LaBeouf) is an Occupy protester and an up and coming blogger for an underground activism website. His life is thrown through a loop though, when a major corporation buys the site and turns it into a LOLCat content farm, forcing Marther to embed himself in the world of finance, quickly climbing up the corporate ladder because of his unfathomable whiteness and his unearned swagger.

Soon, Marther can see the whole board and becomes a land baron with a pocketful of “Get out of Jail Free” cards and a plan to run the bank and drive all the other players toward bankruptcy. Will his plan succeed, or will he be seduced by the 1 percenter lifestyle, a high class call girl named Community Chest (introducing Random Lingerie Model in a breakthrough performance) with a secret, and Arthur Michael Manchester (Nic Cage), the current banker and a rogue utility company owner with troubling hair who inherited both Boardwalk and Park Place under curious circumstances from his late brother, Nathan (also Nic Cage)?

Coming in 2013, the money never sleeps and the game never ends in Monopoly: Revenge of the Fallen. (more…)

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Oh Friday, how we hate you so. Your the day of the week everyone hates thanks to your weekly cock blocking of the weekend. In short, you’re not the coolest day of the week. At the very least, we can make up for this with today’s Sexy Cosplay of the Week featuring South Korea’s own Eki holic.

A member of South Korea’s CSL cosplay team (they exist), holic is a talented young cosplayer with sex appeal to match. Eki holic, with her ability to blow away members of her own team with stunning adaptations from videogames and anime, could very well be the team captain for one of the true forces in the cosplay world.

From Magi‘s blue haired and magic wielding yamuraiha to the busty and heavily sponsored Blue Rose of anime’s Tiger and Bunny, Eki holic is an anime fiend. It’s great to see that in a country where Starcraft is making nerds into superstars, people like Eki holic will actually use their time on their butt to make some kick ass cosplay.

Hit the jump for more!
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It’s been nine long years since gamers took control of former New York City detective Max Payne and solved the murder of his wife and child. Besides the awful live-action adaptation starring Mark Wahlberg, nobody has heard from Max until Rockstar Games recent revival of the fallen hero with the release of Max Payne 3. Could the company recapture the fire that the Max Payne franchise once had?

That’s what we here at Nerd Bastards wanted to find out. So we picked up a copy, jammed it in our magic gaming boxes and played for several straight hours in both single player and multiplayer campaigns. Let’s get to the results shall we:
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Last time on The Daly Show, Steven Webber tried to cajole Tim Daly into a Wings reunion despite Thomas Haden Church‘s restraining order and Tony Shalhoub‘s crippling germaphobia (I saw it on TV, it’s just gotta be true). Displeased with the script and an ironclad contract that locked him into the project if both he and Webber were alive and kicking, Daly decided to take drastic measures to keep him from once again be a man from Nantucket. Will Tim Daly kill Steven Webber? Watch the embeded season finale of The Daly Show to find out and then read our exclusive interview with Daly, his son Sam, writer/director Ben Shelton, and a surprise guest. (more…)

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“A Man Without Honor” might seem at first glance to be rather tame and dull compared to the plot-heavy Game of Thrones episodes we’ve seen the last few weeks, but looks can be deceiving. With a few exceptions, the hour is a string of extended, emotive conversations between key characters. They chronicle realizations, denials, shattered dreams and ambitions, and they do it (mostly) without the benefit of a high-fantasy plot device to propel things along. And yet it’s still compelling, so compelling that it’s proof that even if the dragons are absent, Game of Thrones continues to fascinate.

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Mother’s day is fast approaching . . . it’s this Sunday dude . . . that’s tomorrow. If you haven’t planned and taken care of your Mother’s Day Duties: cards, flowers, candies, breakfast in bed, dinner out, then you had better get on the ball and get it done.

So let’s take a look at some of Nerdom’s moms that you wouldn’t want to mess with for one reason or another.

Mama Fratelli – The Goonies

The best way to sum up this NerdBastards feelings towards Mama Fratelli is to say that she be happy to drive you around house to house to trick or treat on Halloween, then take your bag of candy when you got home. Favorite Mama Fratelli quote:

Mouth: Is this supposed to be water?
Mama Fratelli: It’s wet, ain’t it? Drink it!

Flemeth – Dragon Age

Voiced by: Kate Mulgrew

Flemeth is the legendary “Witch of the Wilds.” Why is she on the list? Well, how about conceiving and raising her daughter only so Flemeth could invade and take over her daughter’s body, destroying Morrigan’s soul and living forever or at least until she needed another replacement body. That’s some hardcore motherly love.

Mom – Futurama

Mom owns and manages 99.7% of MomCorp, a large, multi-billion dollar industrial complex with numerous subsidiaries and a monopoly on robot production. Publicly, she retains the image of a sweet, bustling old woman who often slips into the stereotype of a hapless grandmother (she wears antiquated clothes that greatly accentuate her bust and general figure, while using rustic metaphors such as “squeaking like an old screen door”). Behind the scenes, however, she is malevolent, foul-mouthed, chain-smoking, cold-hearted, and narcissistic. She routinely abuses her sons and others, verbally and physically, like the minions she sees them to be.

Mystique – Marvel Comics X-men

Abandon one child to a band of traveling circus gypsies while raising another foster child to be a super villain destroying your enemies. This chick is mother Teresa material. Sure she can look like anyone at any time . . . except on Mother’s day when she is no where to be found.

Alien Queen – Aliens

The mother of all space monster mothers. She is one mother you don’t want mess with or threaten her offspring. She will gut you faster than an Ahi-tuna sushi chef. Ripley said it best:

“You know, Burke, I don’t know which species is worse. You don’t see them fucking each other over for a goddamn percentage.”

Shaft – Shaft 

He’s a bad mutha . . .

SHUT YO MOUTH ! ! !

I’m just talkin bout Shaft.

Cersi “Lannister” Baratheon – Game of Thrones

If a mother can be judged by the quality of her children then Cersi has a lot of explaining to do. She tells her child that everyone is an enemy and no one can deny him anything. How can she be surprised when that child turns into the most hated character in the whole George R.R. Martin series. The only character in the whole series seen trying to teach Joffery something is his uncle Tyrion, by then it’s way too late.

Tyrion: “You love your children. It’s your one redeeming quality; that and your cheekbones.”

 

Lori Grimes - The Walking Dead

Where’s Carl, Lori?

WHERE THE FRACK IS CARL?!?!?!

I’ll tell ya . . .

HE”S POKING A ZOMBIE WITH A STICK IN THE WOODS BY HIMSELF!!!

If I had a nickel for every time Lori had no idea where her child Carl was I could afford that Riot Shotgun I have my eye on for Zombie protection. Once the zombie apocalypse starts I think that knowing where your children are at all times would pretty much top a Mother’s List of Duties. Wait, she can’t be that bad. When she learned that her husband was not back from town yet she jumped into a car and drove after him (WHERE”S CARL LORI?!?!). Of course she did manage to crash the car when she was the ONLY CAR IN OPERATION ON THE ROADS IN THE STATE OF GEORGIA AT THE TIME. This NerdBastard has taken Lori off the carpool list.

Sarah Conner – Terminator Franchise 

When Sarah Conner finds out her child will one day save mankind from the robot apocalypse she doesn’t curl up into a ball and wait for the end. She steps up, buffs up, and arms up. She’s willing to do what ever it takes to keep her son (and Mankind) safe, she is willing to take a bullet, grenade, or sliver metal Terminator finger blade to keep John safe. Get in her way and you will soon realize your mistake.

Daenerys Targaryen – Game of Thrones

“I am Daenerys Stormborn and I will take what is mine, with fire and blood.”

She is the mother of dragons. She will eat the bloody hearts of her enemies to protect her children, or at least some bloody horse heart. It’s hard to say much more without throwing spoilers out there so this NerdBastard is gonna just leave it there.

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This week’s Sexy Cosplay of the Week returns to the cold and frigid land of Russian for something that is anything butt. Kaliningrad’s own Neko-Tin!

Very crafty and always photogenic, Neko-Tin manages to balance a full-time cosplayer life in with her love for painting, digital artwork and video games. From her phenomenal takes on character like One Piece‘s Nami and Final Fantasy XIII‘s Lightning. Oh and just an FYI, she sometimes cosplays in the nude, yes to her the costumes can be optional. Not really sure how you cosplay without a costume, but we tip our poorly crafted hats to her for doing just that.

Hit the jump for more!

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Before Tim Daly lost his mind and committed to documenting that descent for a series of short docudramaedys called The Daly Show, and before he was a Doctor on Private Practice, he played the owner of Sandpiper Airlines as Joe Hackett, the more sensible one of the two Hackett brothers. The show, Wings, ran on NBC from 1990 to 1997 and co-starred Steven Weber, who my mother loved in The Shining*. Now, the two have re-united for the Wings reunion show we all forgot we wanted… well, sort of. Check out the latest episode of The Daly Show, the first part of the two part season finale, and then drop down and read our exclusive interview with Tim Daly, Steven Weber, and Sam Daly. Also, be sure to check back next week for the second part of both the finale and our interview.

Were you worried that you would break either of your older, more fragile co-stars when breaking up the fight, or the Hack-Smack, due to your dancers physicality?

Sam Daly: I was definitely worried! They both look young, but their fragile bodies pale in comparison to the muscular dancing temple that my head rests on. Lucky for them, I used caution when filming…

Are you less douche than you were at the beginning of the season? 

Sam Daly: Undoubtedly, a little less douche.

Tim, who wins in a real fight between you and Steven Webber? 

Tim Daly: Me…Weber is stronger and a better fighter but I am way meaner.

Is Sam less douche than he was at the beginning of the season?

Tim Daly: Sam is a little more douche…which makes him a little less douche…if you know what I mean.

The micro knife, does it kill because it punctures or because of tetanus?

Steven Weber: The micro knife doesn’t kill. It heals. And also, it’s great for flaying yeast.

Admit it, if you wrote a Wings reunion, you’d find some way to get you and Fay into bed.

Steven Weber: No. But interestingly enough, there were plans for a season 9 episode which would have featured Fay erotically milking what she thought was a cow on Antonio’s organic farm but was really Roy’s decomposed corpse after having been discovered by Helen when she was planting quinoa pods.

If a Wings reunion was actually suggested, would you consider it or run screaming into the first spinning blade?

Steven Weber: Every year, it’s been Tim who has killed all attempts by all four networks (and BET) to reunite the cast. We feel we owe it to the fans (and to our creditors) to bring the show back. We hope Tim gets very sick.

You can follow the boy genius behind The Daly Show, Ben Shelton on Twitter here and you can follow The Daly Show on their new tweet tweet account, @DalyDouche, so suck it Jon Stewart. 

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This is an exclusive party we’re having here. Well…it’s exclusive in that it’s only for the several million people who’ve seen The Avengers in the last few days. Now that the flick is out and shattering box office records, we thought we’d take some time to talk about all the little things that make the flick one of the coolest things ever to hit the big screen. In my review of the flick, I noted that Joss Whedon is a master of small moments. There are dozens of them in this movie, but I’ve narrowed it down to my 10 favorites for easy web-digestion (is that a thing?). If you’ve seen the movie, check it out. If not TURN BACK NOW. Seriously, there are MAJOR, MAJOR SPOILERS UP AHEAD!

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