RETRO REVIEW – An Army of One: ‘Commando’ is Still Arnie’s Best Bad Movie

- 04-08-14Featured, Film Posted by Jacob Knight

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Welcome back to our newly revamped “Retro Reviews” column, where we explore both the movies you know and love, as well as the oft overlooked gems you should be spending more time with. Our second entry is the crazy, career re-defining Arnold Schwarzenegger action romp, Commando (1985)…

The restless feminist inside of me always cringes whenever I use the term “man movie”, but that is undoubtedly what Commando is. Buff, dumb and slathered in baby oil, Mark L. Lester (Class of 1984Firestarter) made the ultimate ”one man army” picture; a breakneck barrage of insanity whose brief moments of tenderness are simply a ploy to get you to start fist-pumping once Arnold starts dropping dudes off of cliffs and spouting one-liners. Filled with an assortment of BAMFs* (including Vernon Wells, who seems to have stolen and kept some unused post-apocalyptic garb from The Road Warrior) and a legion of indigenous peoples (from wherever) for Arnold Schwarzenegger to mow down in a wave of righteous anger, Commando might be the greatest meat-head film the ’80s ever produced. A marvel of economy and pacing, its brisk ninety minutes feel like five once John Matrix’s daughter (Alyssa Milano) is kidnapped by dictator hopeful Arius (Dan Hedaya, in full brown-face), thus sending the titular destroyer of small nations on his quest to kill as many human beings as possible. In short – Commando is a masterpiece of masculine moviemaking; an Adonis of action craft tailor-made to satiate the blood lust of teenage boys.

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Agents of C.H.A.N.G.E.: What Will Happen on ‘S.H.I.E.L.D.’ Post-’Winter Soldier’

- 04-07-14Comics, Featured, Film, TV Posted by Adam A. Donaldson

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Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. went from the show everyone couldn’t wait to love, to one of the most disappointing endeavours in the history of television. Indeed, instant reaction to the show was so dire that Screen Rant published an article about how the series could be improved within days of the airing of the premiere episode. Of course, no one’s saying that the show is, or was, perfect, but one thing’s for sure, the fallout from Captain America: The Winter Soldier is surely going to change what it means to be an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. from here on out. Obviously, major spoilers are below. (more…)

RECAP/REVIEW – Game of Thrones – Season 4, Episode 1: ‘Two Swords’

- 04-07-14Featured, reviews, TV Posted by Jacob Knight

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***Warning: Spoilers Be Nigh…***

All men must die.

The tag line for Game of Thrones’ fourth season doesn’t read like a warning so much as it does a maxim of inevitability. Last season saw the end of Robb Stark, along with his mother, Catelyn, his wife, Talisa, and an army of Stark banner-men, as they were slaughtered by Walder Frey and Roose Bolton (with a nice tactical assist from the Lannisters) at the now infamous “Red Wedding” (the second event, after the beheading of Ned Stark, that launched a thousand hilarious YouTube “reaction videos”). The Stark rebellion has been crushed, it seems, and there are no more imminent threats to the Iron Throne (unless you count that pesky “Mother of Dragons”, who still needs to cross a vast ocean in order to make a serious play). For once, the characters in the show (as well as the folks who root for them from their couches) can finally sit back and relax — nobody’s going to die anytime soon, it seems. The Lannisters are all in King’s Landing, settling into their domestic roles and midlife crises as their sneering boy king plans for his wedding.

But all men must die. And all peace, as well as the comfort that goes along with it, is only temporary. 

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MOVIE REVIEW – ‘Captain America: The Winter Soldier’: the Trials of Steve Rogers

- 04-05-14Featured, Film, reviews Posted by Jacob Knight

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The best thing about Captain America is that he’s a human being, protected by nothing more than a thin layer of spandex. Where Bruce Banner turns into the impenetrable beast that is the Incredible Hulk, Tony Stark is shielded by his iron suit and Thor is an otherworldly god here on Earth, Steve Rogers is just a man, driven by a relentless need to serve and protect his country. This simple fact is what ultimately helps The Winter Soldier work so well, both as a part of The Avengers series and as a stand-alone piece of cinema. Joe & Anthony Russo’s first foray into the Marvel Universe never loses sight of the fact that beneath the red, white and blue exterior is bona fide flesh and blood, with a pulsing heart that can be wounded. In many ways, The Winter Soldier is a catalogue of the lacerations that Rogers has endured, both as a solider and as a man completely out of his own time.

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RECAP/REVIEW: ‘Arrow’ – S02E18 – “Deathstroke”

- 04-03-14Comics, Featured, reviews, TV Posted by Sarah Moran

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Let’s be honest, last night’s episode of Arrow was about as near perfect an episode as they’ve had yet. And this season, as I’ve mentioned over and over, is already a vast improvement over its first. “Deathstroke” is the icing on the cake (which is saying something considering there’s still four more episodes to go). It’s thrilling, tense, and keeps you guessing at where its heading the whole time; an impressive achievement for the often heavy handed show. (more…)

The Super Heroic Journey of Chris Evans

- 04-02-14Comics, Featured, Film Posted by Adam A. Donaldson

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It takes a certain kind of actor to successful play a variety of superhero characters, and not that many know the fan boy joy of playing multiple comic based characters in a career across many different genres and stories. Chris Evans knows, and aside from perhaps only Ryan Reynolds, he’s done more comic book movies than anyone. Evans will reprise his role as Captain America in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, which is being released in U.S. theaters this Friday before he heads off to fight bad robots in The Avengers: Age of Ultron, but the actor’s been saving the world and doing other things for almost 10 years now. But before Evans suits up again for the red, white and blue, let’s recount his heroic journey, from happy space accidents, to regular guys with special skills, to the leader of the world’s biggest super-team. (more…)

RECAP/REVIEW: ‘Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’ – Episode 16 – “End of The Beginning”

- 04-02-14Comics, Featured, reviews, TV Posted by Brent Cook

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We’re now on the last run of episodes of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., with no more scheduled breaks, and a story that will most definitely coincide with Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Was it worth tuning in to see how the beginning of this so-so story ends? (more…)

The BastardCast vs #CancelColbert and MossMan McButtstuffs

- 04-01-14Featured, Nerd Culture Posted by Team Bastard

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Congratulations, you’ve selected the the 95th episode of The BastardCast, a comedy and entertainment podcast for rich and beautiful people BY portly slacker types. On the show this week: I was a teenage teenager! The results from the first ever #TimeChallenge! Over using exclamation points! Oh and the latest in pop-culture news: (more…)

The Cinematic Evolution of Captain America

- 04-01-14Comics, Featured, Film Posted by Jacob Knight

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His name is Steve Rogers. But you probably know him best as Captain America.

This might come as a surprise (or not, as you’re currently reading a site called “Nerd Bastards”), but Captain America wasn’t simply the “First Avenger”, he was also the initial Avenger to ever appear on the big screen. 2014 is a big year for the ultimate All-American, as it marks a major anniversary for the star-spangled superhero. To celebrate this momentous occasion, we here at NB thought it might be a good idea to trace Steve Rogers’ cinematic lineage all the way back to the beginning, while also taking a look at the few pit stops he made on TV during his silver screen journey. It was a bumpy road, for sure (with some jolts damn near knocking the axle off of his red, white and blue motorcycle-housing van), yet arguably ends with some of the best cinematic output of Marvel’s entire existence. So fire up the Francis Scott Key and let’s take a trip back in time to somewhat simpler days…

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Recap/Review – ‘The Walking Dead’ – S04E16 – “A”

- 03-31-14Featured, reviews, TV Posted by Regina Lizik

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The season finale of season 4 opens and closes with hope and in between the search for hope, Rick finds peace with his inner demons.  (more…)