Nerd Bastards

Archive for the ‘Film’

First Look: David Tennant as Peter Vincent in Fright Night Remake

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The remake of 80’s horror flick and cult classic, Fright Night — the story of Charley Brewster discovering his next door neighbor Jerry Dandridge is a vampire, then turning to vampire hunter Peter Vincent to help kill him – is coming to theatres in October 2011. One significant change — Roddy McDowall’s vampire killer has been replaced by David Tennant as a goofy Chris Angel like illusionist.

To quote David Tennant as Doctor Who: “What?”

Apparently, the creatives behind the remake thought the idea of a vampire hunter (particularly the idea that Peter Vincent was actually an actor living out his glory days and hosting a late night horror show) was somehow too ridiculous. Instead, they thought a magician with way too much eye liner and penchant for leather wear was much more reasonable.

Now, I am all for changes to source material (particularly when they makes sense. I.E. making Spider-Mans web shooters organic) , but within reason. This is ridiculous. Jesus Christ with guyliner? Come on now, your not even trying!

FULL SIZE PIC AFTER THE JUMP

source: slashfilm

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TWILIGHT ZONE XXX

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Another day, another nerd porn parody. With the recent success of Batman: An XXX Parody, The Sex Files: A Dark XXX Parody and other nerd inspired titles, the porn industry has found new ground in spoofing nerd/geek properties. Gee, who would have thought sex and superheroes would sell? Suffice to say, now that the nerd-porn spoof cherry (wow, say that 3 times fast) has been popped, a wave of nerd properties ranging from superheroes, the supernatural and Sci-Fi are are waiting or are in process of getting adapted. Superman and Stars Wars being ones we are looking forward to the most. One, of the latest titles, however to be hitting shelves is Paul Thomas’s (The Da Vinci Load‘The Twilight Zone Porn Parody’.

The Twilight Zone” explored a world of dark, sci-fi fantasies, often turning our understanding of the world around us on its head. Will Twilight Zone the Porn Parody do the same? From a story perspective probably not, but it’s sure to turn heads, one way or another. Will have to withhold our judgment until we see it (and see it we shall). Regardless of story, “The Twilight Zone Porn Parody” stars Kimberly Kane (of The Sex Files parody) and when Kimberly Kane is involved you know your in for a penis breaking good time. This bitch is HAWT!

The story-Set in a distant era of cocktails with lunch, and gender-specific roles, biblical virtue found itself being challenged by a couple of new neighbors, whose penchant for earthy carnal pleasures dominate the archaic and self-suppressing morals practiced by the rest of the town. In a quest to uncover the mystery behind the new family, known as The Stones, Kimberly Kane finds herself drawn in and seduced by the enticing and mystifying lifestyle known as swinging.

The DVD is out now and available for purchase here (Only$ 39.99) WATCH THE SAFE FOR WORK TRAILER BELOW.

source: fleshbot

DARKCHYLDE Live-Action Test Footage

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Oi, you know how you know your old? When you realize comics you felt like you were reading just yesterday date back to 1996.

So, back in 1996  there was a very successful comic-book series known as Darkchylde. It was the story of a cursed teen, Ariel Chylde, who can become the creatures from her many nightmares, and had to save her small town from the forces of darkness she set free. It was kinda like Buffy the Vampire Slayer except not as fluffy and with out the Whedon talk of ending every other word with a Y (like Demony). For it’s first nine-month run, the comic series outsold every other popular title including Spider-Man and Superman Marvel and DC’s respectively best selling comics at the time. After a relatively successful run the comic fizzled out of the spotlight and went back into the Darkness from which in came.

Now, after years of debate whether to turn the property into an animated series or big budget, studio film, Randy Queen, creator and now head of Darkchylde Entertainment, has decided to pursue the live-action route: but on his own terms. The comics author has allied himself with Richard Taylor, and the Academy Award Winning Weta Workshop, to create a small budget Darkchylde film that will both strictly adhere to the source material and please the character’s cult following. Here is a message from Queen his fans:

“What we’re showcasing..is hard won, self produced, test footage for a proposed 20-25 million budgeted Darkchylde film. We are the underdogs, so it’s important to not expect Avatar or Iron Man footage, you know? We’re giving a glimpse behind the curtain of a smaller, more intimate horror film we are cultivating, something on the scale of Carrie, but with a more impressive FX resource for Ariel’s dreamscapes and the creatures she becomes.”

MORE AFTER THE JUMP

source: comicbookmovie

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Top Ten Best Depictions of Satan

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As fans of the television show Buffy The Vampire Slayer know, in every television show, video game or movie, there must be a “big bad.” Some nemesis that is so powerful and so outweighs the characters, that you simply must watch/read/play to find out how good can triumph.

Frankly, and I’m sure I am not the only one, but good tends to win a hell of a lot more than evil.  And there is only one bad guy who is the biggest and the baddest.  He is the ruler of the underworld – Satan.

So, this top ten list will be devoted to depictions of Satan in movies, television shows, and video games. The beauty of these lists are that they are subjective. My #1 may not be yours, so feel free to chime in through the comments section below and let me know what your list would be.

Let’s start the countdown, shall we?

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Praise The Lord. A New Director For ‘Preacher’ But Who?

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(Post by nerdbastards contributor Nick Bungay- Twitter @NickBungay)

For over a decade Vertigo comic book series ‘Preacher‘ has been through it’s own stations of the cross. Now it can add the station of a new director to it’s holy book. A while back it was announced director Sam Mendes would helm the project but he’s now off to pursue the next James Bond film. Thanks to a recent, all be it, small interview with Total film producer Neil Mortez gave up some more details on the man with “the word of God”:

“John (August, the screen writer) has done a really faithful adaptation but made it probably more accessible to a broader audience”“The movie is definately R rated. And its an amazing central character”“Another unnamed director has apparently signed on”

Another unnamed director, who the hell is it gonna be? Well, John August (The Nines) is showing interest in directing this badboy. After all he wrote this adaptation, along with a wishlist of directors he and Mortez would like to replace Mendes. Yet, the best and most logical director would be the made who helped reboot the A-team, Joe Carnahan:

“I’m kind of desperate to do another comic book adaptation…And the other thing I’m really keen on or interested in is ‘Preacher’ because I’m a big Garth Ennis fan and I love that series and that’s out there, and that might be something…I really love that. You gotta do the Allfather (D’Aronique) and all that crazy shit and I haven’t seen a script and I don’t know what it is, but yeah, we’ll see. Who knows?”

Hopefully they don’t have another case of ‘Ghostbuster 3′ on their hands with this one. Being part of a film chalk full of false starts since 1998 is like playing hopscotch with one leg. Having directors like Robert Rodriguez once attached to your project once had meaning. Now it means that we could never have this see the light of day and the next director filling like a clean-up batter.

The official plot synopsis from the graphic novel follows:

“Here’s a book guaranteed to offend a bunch of people, not only because of its profuse profanity and graphic violence, but because it’s the epitome of iconoclasm. Like a brutal accident, you can’t watch but you can’t turn away. The story follows an ex-preacher man, Jesse, who has become disgusted with God’s abandoning of His responsibilities. So Jesse starts off into the wilds of Texas with his hitman girlfriend and new best friend (a vampire) to find God so that he can give Him a piece of his mind. Despite its superficial perversity, this book contains what may be the most moral character in mainstream comics. A cult hit in the making.”

With 75 issues from 1995 to 2000 under Vertigo’s belt you might as well buy the entire series. In another 6 months this film will have another director and people will still be bitching, the church should get their confessional booths ready now.

source: slashfilm

Mr. Plinkett’s 67 Minute Video Review of J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek

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Folks, you may remember a particular harsh and comical critic Mike from Milwaukee (of Red Letter Media), or Mr. Plinkett as he now likes to be called. Who dissected and basically tore apart Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace with his 70 minute review. Not to mention his even more brutal 90-minute review of Attack of the Clones. Well, the fuckers back! This time he is here to say his piece on J.J. Abrams ‘Star Trek‘. The 67 minute video is actually bit of a surprise from Mr. Plinkett, who for once actually reviews a movie he likes. This from the same guy who tore into The Next Generation movies. Here is what Mr. Plinkett says:

No, it’s not the Episode 3 review, but it is something. I needed a break from Star Wars and I had recently re-watched Star Trek so I wanted to discuss it and my thoughts on it in detail. Finally. This review is more of an analysis on the making of the film and Trek in general more than your typical Mr. Plinkett complaint-fest. Enjoy friends!


Don’t let his positive review fool you. He’s still as grumpy and weirdly monotone as ever.

Watch the video, which is split into two parts, after the jump.

Blade Runner, Now In Convenient Video Collage Form

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Sometimes you need to catch a viewing of Blade Runner, but dammit, you just don’t have the time. Well, clever cat François Vautier put each and every frame of the movie and made them into one gigantic mamajamma of a picture.

Then he put a virtual camera and panned all over it, resulting in a crazy acid trip that will make you want to reach for your multiple copies of the movie.

Check it out after the jump

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The Bioshock Movie Is Still In Limbo

Main-Bioshock-image-bioshock-523361_1280_960 (Post by nerdbastards contributor Nick Bungay- Twitter @NickBungay)

Back in 2008 it was announced the the little videogame that could, Bioshock, was getting adapted into a hard R-rated movie. Since then we’ve heard everything from it being in pre-production with Universal studios to being released in 2010. Well, Guess what ? 2010 is over halfway through and all we’ve heard since is that directors have dropped and the film is facing budget issues. Thanks to a recent interview with Washington D.C. radio station 106.7 “The Fan” Bioshock developer Kev Levine gave a little update on the situation(not that Jersey Shore jackass).

I will say that it is still an active thing, and it is something we are actively talking about and actively working on. The movie business is complicated — I can’t tell you whether it’s going to happen for sure or it’s not going to happen for sure, but it’s something we are actively discussing, quite actively, and actively working on.”

That’s alot of active in such a short statment but it still screams “We have no clue what’s going on! It’s quite a shame though, with former director Gore Verbinski now relegating himself to producer and Juan Carlos Fresnadillo (28 Weeks Later) taking the reigns. What ever happened to the film that had such hype floating over it now place into a semi-permanent state of development hell. At least fans still have Bioshock: Infinite to look forward to, unless they stall on that gem too.

source: geektyrant

James Cameron vs. Piranha 3D

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James Cameron, whose movie Avatar is now the highest grossing movie ever, has been a proponent of 3D technology for a while now. His movie helped pave the way for countless movies being released in 3D this year and next. It has become the new Hollywood fad.

But, there’s a hiccup.

Mr. Cameron doesn’t like some of the movies that have been released in 3D, most notably, Piranha 3D. And he went into detail about it during a recent interview with Vanity Fair, because it apparently cheapens the medium.

I tend almost never to throw other films under the bus, but that is exactly an example of what we should not be doing in 3D. Because it just cheapens the medium and reminds you of the bad 3D horror films from the 70s and 80s, like Friday the 13th 3D. When movies got to the bottom of the barrel of their creativity and at the last gasp of their financial lifespan, they did a 3D version to get the last few drops of blood out of the turnip. And that’s not what’s happening now with 3D. It is a renaissance — right now the biggest and the best films are being made in 3D. Martin Scorsese is making a film in 3D [Hugo Cabret]. Disney’s biggest film of the year — Tron: Legacy — is coming out in 3D. So it’s a whole new ballgame

No surprise, this angered the entire creative team behind Piranha 3D.

MORE AFTER THE JUMP

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How Inception Should Have Ended

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Inception was an amazing movie that was, as many people have said, too complicated for its own good. There were dreams within dreams, dreams within a dream within dreams, and much more. Suffice to say, it did get a little ridiculous.

But, while you were watching it, the movie made it all seem possible – which is the mark of a good movie.

What if it didn’t need to be so complicated? The folks at Howitshouldhaveended.com decided to take that upon themselves and show exactly how Inception should have ended.