Sir Patrick Stewart has been a lot of things. Captain of the USS Enterprise. Leader of the X-Men. Friend to Ian McKellan. And he’s even been a Scrooge. But has he ever been a piece of shit? Nah, not him. Not the beloved Patrick Stewart. Never.
That’s where you’re wrong, kiddo. Stewart is a POS, or rather will be soon. And it’s all thanks to that ridiculous Emoji movie.
Emoticons which have become a modern form of communication (and hieroglyphs to anyone above the age of 30) are getting their own animated movie, aptly titled The Emoji Movie. A trailer for it was recently released. Oh, how did the Internet laugh at what an inexplicable absurdity it is. Reaction everywhere being summed up with a unified “Why. Just why!?”.
The movie’s director, Tony Leondis, said of the movie (via THR): “I know what you’re thinking — WTF.” But apparently Leondis justifies this utter waste of a bank roll because of the story:
“ What is their story? Emoji are expected to be one thing their whole lives. So I thought, what if one was born with not one, but lots of expressions … and how would that affect the status quo. Everyone has felt different; it’s everyone’s story.”
OK. Fair enough.
So where does Patrick Stewart fall into this? He will be playing the coveted role of “Poop”, the poop emoji. Presumably so that when and if anyone says he’s crap, he can say “so you saw my movie”. Or perhaps he’s reached a stage in life where he is completely out of f**ks to give. Whatever the case may be, knowing Stewart, he will have a lot of fun with such a shitty role (haha, yes, we went there). Remember kids: “Acting!”
Sir Patrick Stewart will be joining several other comedic talents in The Emoji Movie, including T.J. Miller as the lead character, Gene, the emoji who can have more than one expression. Ilana Glazer, Maya Rudolph, Jennifer Coolidge, Jake T. Austin, James Corden, Steven Wright and Rob Riggle round out the rest of the cast of emoji characters.
The Emoji Movie, which hits theaters on Aug 4, whether anyone likes it or not.
This one has been around for years. Ever since some intrepid, young fan noticed a little something out of place or a familiar image, the idea that all Pixar movies belong in the same shared universe has been out there. There’s a lot backing the theory up too as many people have identified clues in each film that point to one another. Of course, this kind of thing isn’t usually acknowledged outright by the creators. It took decades before the folks behind Disney’s Aladdin confirmed the opening scene with the narrator selling the lamp was the same ‘person’ as Genie. Maybe it’s been long enough, since today, Pixar officially posted proof on their Toy Story Facebook page!
Fans will have to wait longer for CBS‘s return to Star Trek on the small screen. Star Trek: Discovery won’t make the scheduled May premiere date. Reasons for the delay are not detailed, just the usual “What’s best for the series” vagueness. Star Trek: Discovery did cast an interesting and long time Star Trek character, Spock’s father Sarek. (more…)
One of the biggest things to come out of Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice had nothing to do with the movie itself. Well, not directly. You’ll recall that as the negative reviews came pouring in, an interview with Ben Affleck and co-star Henry Cavill gave birth to the meme “Sad Affleck.” As Cavill responded to an interviewer’s question, Affleck looked off into the distance with a grimace on his face, and someone said, “The would look even better set to Simon and Garfunkel’s ‘The Sound of Silence'” and it was. Now, almost one year later, Affleck has broken his silence about “Sad Affleck” and the lesson he learned. (more…)
Whether your were a fan of Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice and Suicide Squad or not, a lot of people were hoping that 2017 might be a clean slate for Warner Bros., DC Entertainment and the DC Extended Universe. There are two new items up for bids this year – Wonder Woman and Justice League – and while the latter is still an artifact of Zack Snyder’s influence, the former’s got new blood in the form of Patty Jenkins, not to mention the fact that it features one of the more popular aspects of BvS: Gal Gadot‘s Amazonian warrior. And that’s why it’s so difficult to announce the following… (more…)
For the most part, Hollywood has struggled with anime adaptation for US audiences. For every Edge of Tomorrow: Live Die, Repeat, you can get a Dragon Ball Z. Many films have heavily drawn influences from anime. Take The Matrix, for example, has taken anime influences and delivered a great original product. However, with Scarlett Johansson appearing in this year’s live-action adaptation of Ghost in the Shell, it looks like US audiences are gearing up for anime’s to be taken seriously and done well. Next on the plate, Attack on Titan.
For someone who is so sensitive to parodies of his public persona, Donald Trump doesn’t take many precautions when it comes to making sure the world only sees his best side. Since becoming the President-elect of the USA and the world media has paid closer attention than ever to his behaviour, Trump’s output from his speeches to his Twitter feed has hardly got any more polished. You’d certainly be forgiven for assuming that at least some of his Tweets were purposely inflammatory because – as Mark Hamill has illustrated so perfectly – a lot of the things he has to say feel like they were written for a cheesy movie villain. (more…)