The BastardCast vs Leather Sweatpants and the Agents of Bat

- 09-27-13Featured Posted by Team Bastard

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This time on The BastardCast, Jason and Jeremy board the Botany Bay and find Matt Jackson, naked, alone, and full of evil intent. Together, they crash the serene quiet of the cosmos with a ghetto blaster, a crappy but lovable star cruiser, and a mission to punch at the heart of this week’s nerdy news with acid wits and embarrassing bitch tits.

WHAT WE TALKIN BOUT BRUCE WILLIS? We talkin bout nananana Batman! Is Wonder Woman going to crash DC’s upcoming spandex sausage fest and will anyone care about a Batman-less Jim Gordon/Gotham City TV show? We’re also talking about the upcoming Constantine TV show, and whether DC is building it’s own wide universe on the small screen.

More Batman? But of course, we’ve got EXCLUSIVE and surprising audio from casting sessions all throughout Batman’s long on-screen history. Eion Bailey ain’t got shit on the Godfather in spandex!

Alright, maybe you’re an acolyte of Marvel. Part of the Merry Marvel Marching Society. For you, we have our views on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and later, we discuss Avengers 2: Age of Ultron in TRAILERGASM (and also Need for Speed, bitch!)

We also realize that the name Michael Jordan is somewhat common, that Alan Moore is not a clown (sorry, Grant), why Dumb and Dumber makes us sad now, the Firefly comic, our Halloween plans, and what the world’s worst rap battle looks like.All that and MOAR (We’re contractually obligated to spell more like that. Please help.)
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The BastardCast: The gentleman you see in the image above is our God, worship him with mutton in your mouth and a Pegasus in your soul.

‘The Legend of Conan’ May Spawn Even More Sword-Wielding Arnie

- 07-29-13Comics, Film Posted by Jason McAnelly

arnie conan

It was happy days for me when I heard that Arnold Schwarzenegger would be coming back to reprise his role as Conan so that they could finish off the story that began back in 1982.  Now, however, it looks like they want to take it one step further.  According to the powers-that-be, The Legend of Conan may just be the start of a fully-fledged trilogy, all featuring Arnie.  Check out the whole story after the jump.

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Arnie Speaks! ‘Terminator 5’, ‘The Legend of Conan’ and ‘Triplets’

- 05-29-13Film Posted by Jason McAnelly

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Ever since Arnold ‘The Governator’ Schwarzenegger stepped away from politics and back into the world of film, I’ve been eagerly awaiting some news on him making a film that doesn’t look like throwaway, straight-to-video rubbish.  So far, there hasn’t been much to hope for.  There are two lights at the end of this tunnel, however, in the form of Terminator 5 and a return to the barbaric franchise with The Legend of Conan.  Now, it looks like Arnie has something to say about how those two projects are going.

While talking to Metro UK, he had this to say on his upcoming roles:

We’re writing it now. There are three projects being written that involve me. One is Terminator 5, the other is a Conan movie that Universal is doing and there’s the sequel to Twins, which is called Triplets. We’ll all look quite different in that. The third triplet is Eddie Murphy, so figure that one out.

Oh yeah, there’s that Triplets thing as well, but I’m trying to block that one from my mind.  At least it looks like the projects haven’t been shit-canned yet.  With Arnie’s star power on board, they’re that much more likely to see an actual movie screen.  Let’s hope they don’t suck balls.

 

Thanks to ComingSoon for the heads-up.

How ‘Toxic’ is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Next Project ???

- 05-13-13Comics, Film Posted by Mark Poynter

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The news today about Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s next project was unexpected for many Arnold fans. Who’d believe that Arnold would join the cast of The Toxic Avenger Reboot? Steve Pink‘s remake has been in the works for a while and the news that Arnold is in talks to take a leading role in the project is sure to give the project some much-needed publicity and Internet hype.

Arnold isn’t going to play the Toxic Avenger though, the word is he is up for the villain this time around. The last time Arnold played a comic book villain was as Mister Freeze in Joel Schumacher‘s horrendous Batman and Robin debacle. Which villain could Arnold play in the Toxic Avenger’s world of crazy villains? Many are banking on Cigar Face, because of Arnold’s love of cigar smoking, it just fits him.

The original film was set in Tromaville, New Jersey – a small American town, terrorized by criminals. Among the residents of Tromaville is Melvin, a nerdy emaciated janitor at the local health club. A gang of thugs devise a cruel hoax that goes horribly wrong as Melvin is cast through a third story window into a vat of hazardous toxic waste. However, an unexpected metamorphosis takes place. As the chemicals take hold of his body, Melvin turns into the Toxic Avenger, doer of good, and brutal mauler of evil.

Here’s the original trailer, you can expect the reboot to be just as campy, that’s Troma‘s trademark style.

Via: Comingsoon

Schwarzenegger On ‘The Legend Of Conan’ Soapbox

- 01-08-13Comics, Film Posted by Mark Poynter

While making the publicity press rounds for his latest movie The Last Stand, Arnold Schwarzenegger discussed the soon to start production movie The Legend Of Conan. Fans will be glad to hear that the movie will ignore Conan the Destroyer and the 2011 Jason Moma Conan, instead placing itself as a direct sequel to the original 1982 Conan The Barbarian. The story was conceived and most likely will be written by Chris Morgan (Fast Five) as long as any other previous commitments (Fast and Furious 7) don’t get in the way.

“Let me just say that a lot of it has to do with timing. That’s what show business and politics have in common. It’s a lot of it is timing, and I think that I would’ve chosen to do Conan already if it would’ve been ready, but the Universal studio just bought the rights to Conan, they have an executive over there that happens to be a big believer in bringing back that character, and Universal was the first one to do the movie with Dino DeLaurentiis, and now they want to be back and do a bunch of Conan movies, but do it high-quality, not as a B-movie, to do it high-quality like the first one was John Milius directed and Dino DeLaurentiis produced and Universal has presented. So they want to go back to that. So that will be ready by sometime this year.”

The Legend Of Conan is shooting for a late 2014 release date. We’ll keep our eyes out for any new developments and bring them to you here.

Via: Comicbookmovie

Producer Hires Brother to Work on ‘Terminator 5′

- 12-04-12Film Posted by Adam A. Donaldson

It seems that every once in a while we get some non-consequential news about Terminator 5, because after four movies and a TV show there’s still a lot of ground to cover on a story that technically ended after the second movie.

So it goes like this: Megan Ellison, producer of recent indie flicks like Paul Thomas Anderson’s The MasterKathryn Bigelow‘s Zero Dark Thirty, Andrew Dominik‘s Killing Them Softly, bought the rights to Terminator for something like $20 million. So naturally, she’s going to want to get some kind of return on investment by getting a movie into production soon.

But after getting the blessing of Arnold Schwarzenegger, and even signing a director in the person of Fast & Furious auteur Justin Lin, it seems that development on a fifth Terminator went nowhere fast, and Lin eventually bailed. But don’t worry, because there’s a new producer now on board to oversee the project, and I’m sure nepotism has nothing to do with his hiring.

Deadline is reporting that Megan Ellison has hired brother David Ellison to produce Terminator 5. Now David does have some impressive creds overseeing Mission: Impossible–Ghost Protocol through his Skydance Productions as well as the upcoming Jack ReacherWorld War Z, G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation, Star Trek Into Darkness and Jack Ryan. So I guess he knows something about franchise management, and working under the gun (so to speak), but does he have what it takes to get another Terminator to theaters everywhere?

Oh, and speaking of deadlines, Terminator has to get rolling before 2019, because according to new copyright rules that’s the year the rights for the franchise will revert back to James Cameron, and unless there’s someway he can turn Terminator into Avatar there’s not going to be anymore evil robots from the future trying to kill Sarah Connor.

So good luck David Ellison. We eagerly await the next update.

Source: Geek Tyrant

‘The Legend of Conan’ – Some Details from Producer Chris Morgan

- 12-03-12Film Posted by Jason McAnelly

By now, most of us who love Conan know that there’s a third movie in the works – a proper movie, that is, not that rubbish with Jason Momosa that almost made me cry man-tears.  This one, being put together by Universal and producer Chris Morgan, will follow the aging character as he deals with the final days of his life.  Aptly titled The Legend of Conan, the project is still relatively new and people are wondering about the details.  Luckily for us, Morgan had a few things to say recently.

About Arnold Schwarzenegger’s returning to the role of the barbaric Cimmerian warrior:

To put yourself out there in your 60s? As Conan the Barbarian? I could see why he’d hesitate.  You’re really putting yourself out there.

About what we may see Conan going up against in the new flick:

Conan needs to be faced with challenges. The greatest challenge to him isn’t the armies that are set before him. It’s, on some level, self-doubt, a little bit of slowing down and forcing yourself to be heroic beyond what people expect of you. What I don’t want is for him to step back in and look the same. That would defeat the purpose of our story.

And to answer some concerns from fans:

Not a reboot, not a remake. Just an update. Where has the character been all this time? A catch-up with Conan.

So far the general synopsis has Conan well into his later years and ruling a kingdom.  He’s put down his sword for the most part, but when the shit hits the fan he’s forced to go kick some heads in.  But if what Morgan says about exploring Conan’s psyche is true, we may have an actual complex film on our hands.  Hopefully, he takes his job seriously and there won’t be a repeat of the Conan the Destroyer formula – a film more fit for 12-year-olds than actual Conan fans.

So far no script, but there’s a tentative release date of 2014.  What do you out there in NerdReader land think?  Is it possible to make a great Conan film and finish out the story?  Or will we have a repeat of the eye-candy and no-plot Conan reboot from last year?

 

Thanks to ComicBookMovie for the heads-up.

Praise CROM ! ! ! Schwarzenegger To Reprise Role Of Conan

- 10-25-12Film Posted by Mark Poynter

I got chills the first time I saw the scene of an aged King Conan sitting on the throne, in the theater years ago and I pretty much get the same feeling every time I get caught up in the movie while surfing channels on a lazy weekend. It was the scene that my much younger nerdy self always wanted to see and now it is going to happen.

Universal Studios, producer Fredrik Malmberg of Paradox Entertainment (Holder of the Conan movie rights), and Chris Morgan (Writer of the last four Fast and Furious movies) are working toward getting the movie The Legend of Conan, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, into theaters during the summer of 2014. Morgan will most likely take over the script writing chores for the movie which Malmberg describes as “Conan’s Unforgiven.”

The original ended with Arnold on the throne as a seasoned warrior, and this is the take of the film we will make. It’s that Nordic Viking mythic guy who has played the role of king, warrior, soldier and mercenary, and who has bedded more women than anyone, nearing the last cycle of his life. He knows he’ll be going to Valhalla, and wants to go out with a good battle…This movie picks up Conan where Arnold is now in his life, and we will be able to use the fact that he has aged in this story. I love the property of Conan so much that I wouldn’t touch it unless we came up with something worthy. We think this is a worthy successor to the original film. Think of this as Conan’s Unforgiven.

When asked about what rating the movie might be Malmberg said:

Will that level of violence be there? Absolutely, but only if it serves a character who lives by that barbarian law of the wild, who is capable of extreme violence and rage, but who has created his own code and operates from within it. By the end of that film, Conan became a certain character, and this film picks him up there, as he faces different challenges that include dealing with age.

I’m having trouble containing my nerdy exuberance about this announcement. I just hope they can really pull off a fantastic look at an aged Conan, weary of the duties of a king and yearning to return to simpler times of mayhem and battle. One of my favorite comic book runs was King Conan. If you are interested in the character it is a great read.

Let us know what you think about this in the comments section below.

Via: Deadline

Stallone & Schwarzenegger Storm Theaters In New Action Movies

- 08-17-12Film Posted by Mark Poynter

Everywhere you look these days there’s another 80′s action star making a movie, but do they still have the chops to pull it off? Two of the giants of the 80′s action movie, Stallone and Schwarzenegger, are both scheduled to be involved in numerous movie productions in the next couple of years.

Hopefully they can handle the rough and tumble action without breaking a hip, they are getting up there in age after all. Buckle up for some  old fashioned action and old guy jokes. First one to say, “I’m getting to old for this shit,” Wins.

First up is Stallone starring in Walter Hill’s Bullet to the Head with Jason Momoa, Christian Slater, and Sung Kang (Ninja Assassin). The movie description is short and sweet:

After watching their respective partners die, a cop and a hitman form an alliance in order to bring down their common enemy.

Bullet to the Head hits theaters February 1, 2013.

Next up is Arnold Schwarzenegger getting back to his action roots starring in The Last Stand, directed by Kim Jee-woon (I Saw the Devil, The Good, the Bad, the Weird).

After leaving his LAPD narcotics post following a bungled operation that left him wracked with remorse and regret, Sheriff Ray Owens (Schwarzenegger) moved out of Los Angeles and settled into a life fighting what little crime takes place in sleepy border town Sommerton Junction. But that peaceful existence is shattered when Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega), the most notorious, wanted drug kingpin in the western hemisphere, makes a deadly yet spectacular escape from an FBI prisoner convoy. With the help of a fierce band of lawless mercenaries led by the icy Burrell (Peter Stormare), Cortez begins racing towards the US-Mexico border at 250 mph in a specially-outfitted Corvette ZR1 with a hostage in tow.

The Last Stand opens on January 18.

This reminds me a lot of Stan Ridgeway’s song Roadblock. If you’ve never heard it or listened to Stan’s music, take minute and give it a chance. The guy is a fantastic musician and story teller.

 

Nerd Bastard’s Collection of 25 Superb Supercuts

- 06-08-12Featured, Funny Videos Posted by Sarah Moran

Compilations, montages, supercuts. Whatever you want to call them, lately, they’re everywhere. I like calling ‘em supercuts. It’s fun to say. Supercuts. Suuuppeeerrcuts. See?

Anyway, supercuts are videos comprised of only one thing from either movies, television, video games or cartoons repeated over and over and over again. There are Star Wars supercuts, My Little Pony supercuts, Game of Thrones supercuts, Quentin Tarantino supercuts, and even a supercut focusing on the “Spielberg Face.” Basically, if some savvy video editor starts to notice recurring cliches, lines, or even camera shots they’re going to edit ‘em all together into one massive supercut.

Here we’ve got a superb collection of 25 supercuts spanning all kinds of things. Check ‘em out and let us know which is your favorite! I know we haven’t included every excellent supercut so if you’ve got a favorite we missed share it in the comments below and help us make this an ultimate collection.

Every Single Fucking Dude from The Big Lebowski [TannerStraus]

He’s just, “the Dude,” y’know? What an enviable title, who wouldn’t want to be known by one and all as, “the Dude”? This style of supercut is pretty common, an edit of one word or phrase repeated again and again, but there’s something about hearing “Dude” continually repeated I find calming. It’s good for my zen.

Hit the jump for more superb supercuts! (more…)