Assassin’s Creed

I don’t consider myself a super hard-core gamer, but I have, for a time, discounted the ability of Nintendo to service my gaming needs. In all honesty, the N64 was the last Nintendo system that I had any love or respect for as a gaming system (the Wii is to be respected for its ground breaking motion controller though), so while the technical advances that were promised with the Wii U pad were intriguing, I’d be lying if I said that anything shy of a miracle could have convinced me to invest money into a Wii U. As you can tell from the title of this article, that miracle didn’t come, and instead I found Nintendo’s presentation lacking in announcements that would convert even the most open-minded gamer.

For one thing, the games were an epic failure. More kid friendly originals (like you’d expect) that don’t speak to a lot of adult gamers (unless I can figure out how to kill shit in Scribblenauts) and ones that actually would, like Super Mario Bros. U, Zelda, or Smash Brothers, that were either extremely disappointing (Mario, which looked like a game that should live as DLC, not a stand alone disc) or non-existent at the presentation.

There were games that peaked my interest, like Zombi U, but unlike Sony’s The Last of Us, the game didn’t seem to have an interest in shaking up a familiar concept, and instead it seemed like a standard FPS zombie game that was only unique because of the Wii U pad. Now, admittedly, holding up the pad to use a sniper scope in the game was pretty cool, but this “new way of gaming” doesn’t feel very intuitive, and it actually seems like it would be awkward, distracting, and time consuming. All things that every gamer loves in the midst of a fast paced zombie game.

Third party games like Arkham City: Armored Edition, Mass Effect 3, and Darksiders 2, seem like simple ports or ports with a few extra bells and whistles. That’s something that Reggie Fils-Aime seemed to take issue with after the presentation when Spike’s Geoff Keighley made that observation to him, but those denials, assurances, and requests to, essentially, get people to overlook what they saw with their own eyes aren’t likely going to work.

Honestly, and Keighley alluded to this with Fils-Aime in the chair — these are tough times, and people can’t afford to drop $60 on the same game that they’ve already beat, and they can’t afford to buy a system that offers nearly no advantages over it’s (most likely) lower priced competitors either.

Luigi's Ghost Mansion... or Pac Man...

That price is another thing, we still have no answer from Nintendo on how much this thing will cost, and what specs will be inside of it — information that might help position the system as competition for the big boys.

Really, what we know from the Wii U is that they have 3rd party support on some new games, paltry exclusives, and nothing that promise to knock anybody out. If that wasn’t bad enough, they also have a piece of hardware which may be, at once, an inch above and a mile below it’s competition.

Sure, the Wii U pad will have Hulu, Youtube, and Netflix, but as someone on the @NerdBastards twitter pointed out during our tweet and watch, we all have numerous devices that do that. Right now, I’ve got 3 of them within 10 feet of me, including a year old cell phone.

An idea like the Mverse is a neat enough idea, the secondary screen could be cool, and Nintendo Land is a nice enough concept whose novelty wore off before the show was even over, but really, this is a system you buy if you are a Nintendo loyalist, or someone looking to come off of a Wii who hasn’t yet discovered the superiority of an Xbox 360 and the PS3.

The problem with Wii is the same problem Wii U looks like it will face, and it is an interesting parallel with the other two companies that presented at E3 — Sony wants to be a game system, Microsoft wants to be a media hub, and Nintendo doesn’t know how to do either, so it tries to be both and it fails miserably.

At the start of this presentation Reggie Fils-Aime proclaimed that the Wii U would change our lives, but in the end, I don’t think the Wii U presentation changed a thing — try as they might to re-court gamers, Nintendo lost this war a long, long time ago.

To take a look at our thoughts on Sony’s E3 presentation, click here. For Microsoft’s, click here.

 

 

 

I honestly thought that Microsoft’s presentation couldn’t be topped, but while their technical ambition has yet to be beat, Sony brought the thunder in terms of their gaming slate — showing off a God of War prequel, a sort of zombieless, yet fantastic looking zombie game, and the visual stunner of the convention (so far) in the form of Beyond: Two Souls. Of course, being Sony, there were missteps.

One of those missteps was Sony’s big Move announcement, the Wonderbook. A piece of DLC that seems like it was designed with kids in mind. What is it? Well, the Wonderbook asks kids (or adults) to sit in front of the Eye Camera and watch the screen as Wonderbooks come to life. Spells can be cast by employing the Move Wand as an actual wand while using JK Rowling‘s exclusive Book of Spells, or a map and characters can come flying off the page and onto the screen thanks to something that is over enthusiastically called, Augmented Reality. The trouble with all of this is, the non HD Eye Camera saps the majesty of the effect thanks to its low video quality. Something that was obvious during the demonstration.

Sony’s other big tech news revolved around the Vita, with the company announcing crossplay ability between the PS3 and the Vita, and the ability to use the Vita as a PS3 controller. There were also PSN and Playstation Plus upgrades, with new content promised (Youtube and Crackle for the Vita), but these don’t come close to the full Internet Explorer internet browser and loads of content from Paramount, ESPN, professional basketball and hockey, that Microsoft promised for Xbox Live. Sony also announced the expansion of their mobile gaming interests, with an announced partnership with HTC (personal yay!) to develop Playstation certified games for Playstation mobile.

Alright, enough of the tech stuff, lets move on to the games!

Perhaps the most ambitions, and creative game revealed so far, Beyond: Two Souls comes from the developers of Heavy Rain, (Quantic Dreams) and seemingly aspires to be more than a game — frankly, it looks like it aspires to be art.

Focusing on a woman with seemingly supernatural abilities, the game follows, essentially Ellen Page (honest to blog!) through her life for 15 years and hints at an exploration of the afterlife if you make the right choices. I won’t mince words, the trailer was a cinematic, so I desperately crave gameplay footage, but the concept blew my hair back.

The Ubisoft presentation earlier in the day showed off ample Assassin’s Creed 3 footage, with a kickass conclusion to the gameplay footage showing the new assassin, Connor, soaring through the air. During the Sony presentation though, Ubisoft trucked out more AC, announcing a “from the ground up” Assassin’s title, Assassin’s Creed 3: Liberation, starring a female assassin. They also showed a lengthy bit of gameplay footage, with Connor steering a ship through the Caribbean seas while engaging other ships in cannon combat.

Ubisoft also brought out more Farcry 3, though this clip featured less nipples than the Farcry portion of the Ubisoft presentation from earlier in the day… there was 4 way co-op and promises of a map maker and exclusive Sony DLC though, which might just trump nipples.

Sony also showed off Playstation All Stars Battle Royale and announced that Big Daddy from Bio Shock and Nathan Drake from Uncharted, would join the game as playable characters. Battle Royale came off as a classic button masher, and the lineup is a bit odd, with Drake now set play alongside Fat Princess, but the crossplay capability was demonstrated during this demonstration, and seemed to go off without a hitch.

Speaking of classic Playstation characters, Kratos is back with God of War: Ascension, a sort of prequel/origin story with the usual dose of fierce GOW gameplay, with epic battles showed off in the footage. People, there is an Elephant-man that is half man, half elephant, (and all punk ass bitch) that Kratos dispatches with ease. The whole thing is thrilling, and had me itching to see more. Sadly, the game won’t be out until next March.

The Last of Us is the previously mentioned maybe, sort of near zombieless zombie game, and this footage focuses more heavily on the struggle and battle between the survivors of some kind of pandemic event. The storyline is reminiscent of some of the best parts of The Walking Dead, with the “survival mode” human posing a real danger thanks to desperation and fear. Really, it’s exploring a world where mankind is thrust back into the wild and forced to view everyone as a potential predator. I love the brutality, the impressive hand-to-hand combat, and interplay between characters. “Joel” isn’t badass, he’s doing everything he needs to survive. Notice the lack of quips, the absence of swagger, this humanizes an end world event and also de-humanizes the protagonist and turns him into an animal. The Last of Us doesn’t have the lofty goals of Beyond, and it isn’t, you know, art, but it is a lot more interesting than a lot of the other zombie games that we’ve seen in recent years.

The Interwebz, where nerd art runs wild. Oh, and they draw a lot too. Sure, sometimes it’s 50 new rage faces (please stop by the way) or pictures of ligers. Why is it always ligers?

Other times? Oh those other times… it;s fantastic and magical drawings that make the imagination soar and the geek spirit reach new heights.

It’s time for a Nerd Art Dump.

ABOVE: The next time you watch Masters of the Universe remember to see it from the other perspective.  He-man wasn’t the big hero that he appeared to be on TV. He was actually just another muscle bound jock picking on poor skinny Skeletor, trying to make his way through the day. What a jerk. [Geek Diaper]

Hit the jump for a Doctor Who/Peanuts mash-up, Ghostbusters and MOAR!
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Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut. Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at nerdybits@nerdbastards.com.

ABOVE: Shanoa Nebulaluben does an excellent job bringing Satele Shan from Star Wars: The Old Republic to life. And who wouldn’t choose a double-sided lightsaber, they’re so obviously more badass. I don’t know why more Jedi/Sith don’t use them? Is there some kind of liability I’m missing? Photography by Rubén Madrid and Jesús Clares. (Fashionably Geek)

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Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut.

Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at nerdybits@nerdbastards.com.

By now you might be tiring of the Muppets. I don’t really think that’s possible, so here’s a video of Jason Segel, Amy Adams, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy answering some fan questions on Moviefone. You’ll be amazed by Miss Piggy’s impressive impressions! (The Mary Sue)

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Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut.

Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at nerdybits@nerdbastards.com.

Come on, Darth. I don’t know much about fantasy football, but really, you’re picking your kicker!? (Geek Tyrant)

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Long gone are the days of criticizing video games for not being art or thinking of them as the retarded, ginger-haired step children of movies, television or books (Books? What are these strange bound paper things with text your speak of? Can I charge them like my Kindle?). Today’s game’s are revolutionary, providing incredible, immersive experiences into worlds we could only dream to visit. The Assassin’s Creed series is one of the best, allowing us to travel back in time through Desmond Miles as he learns of his ancestors’ involvement in the secret war between Assassin’s and Templar’s. So, why go muckin’ it up with a movie!?

Variety reports Sony is hoping to acquire the rights to make a movie adaption of the game. Dear God, why? I’ll hand it to them that Assassin’s Creed is one of the most cinematic games with a storyline beginning in modern times with Desmond, the weird, secret organization Abstergo Industries and their “time-traveling” machine which allows us to visit the past through Desmond’s bloodline. But it can also be extremely confusing with conspiracy theories, possible alien involvement and just a lot of weird shit a 20+ hour game has difficulty explaining. How can we expect a 2+ hour movie to make any sense of it?

I would suggest, were they to ask, picking one of the past-centric episodes. Either the assassin, Altair and his war in the Holy Land or his descendent Ezio Auditore and his crusade against the Templar’s in 1470 Italy. One or the other could be adapted to film, but leave out all the projecting into the past stuff. It would only be waaaay too confusing for audiences not familar with the series. Keep in plenty of kick-ass assassinations though, hell through in more if can. Sneaky-ly offing some dude in the middle of Venice then making a spectacular, parkour-esque escape is the best part!

What do you think, is an Assassin’s Creed movie a good idea or an epic failure in the making?

Souce: Cinema Blend

Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut.

Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at nerdybits@nerdbastards.com.

Yup, no big deal. ‘Course, I think the Assassin’s symbol on the back of your car might be a dead give away. (Fashionably Geek)

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The Interwebz is a great place for artists to share their nerdy work, even though the majority of the time it’s a bunch of fuckin’ weird shit. There are a ton of awesome things to behold every day but we’re fuckin’ lazy bastards, so we just put it all together once a week to keep your mojos happy. Wands at the ready, y’all!

We’ll start this week off with some awesome Batman art by Bob Strang. It’s entitled “We’re All Batsy in the Belfry”, and includes most of the villains Batman’s pwned over the years. I really like the style and composition of this piece, though — very cool.

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Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut.

Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at nerdybits@nerdbastards.com.

 

Brent Spiner has an eerily acurate Patrick Stewart impression. It’s awesome, but creepy. Seriously, you must give this a watch. (io9)

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