A few months back a rumor floated around that Warner Bros. was looking into the possibility of a Gremlins reboot, and if I remember correctly we all laughed at them and threw rocks at them till they stopped such idiocy. Well, grab handful of your finest movie exec seeking pocket gravel because it sounds like they still want to reboot the 80′s classic.

Bloody Disgusting is reporting that a source close to the project (I assume that’s studio code for ‘coke dealer‘) says that WB has tapped Seth Grahame-Smith and David Katzenberg to produce the remake. Seth Grahame-Smith was also behind such flops as Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Dark Shadows and also is apparently responsible for the most recent draft of a Beetlejuice remake.

Just let that soak in for a little bit.

Now here’s a video of Gizmo dancing to remind us of better days.

Source: Bloody Disgusting

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Dan, Dan, Dan… Well, here we go again.

Dan Aykroyd recently spoke with ABC News (the one in Australia oops, move on) about the eternally ethereal Ghostbusters 3 in his eternal quest to talk to anyone that will listen about the project.  What is revealed is more mad ramblings from the vodka salesman (a fine and quality beverage if I may add, I have many skull shaped bottles to prove my love) about how the the third GB movie is still moving forward. In fact he reveals that filming should begin in winter (I’m guessing ‘a’ winter and not ‘next‘ winter.) Wait… last we heard it was going to be a CGI cartoon… it’s back to live action now? I thought the next step was high school musical theater…

Anyhoo, here’s what he had to say about the current status of the ‘movie’ -PLUS a vague hint at the ‘plot’:

“I feel re-encouraged, reinvigorated by the pages that I have seen. I know that we’re expecting half of the screenplay to be completed very soon. It should be into production by the fall and be shooting by the new year. I won’t say anything, it’s very exciting. The Higgs boson and the particle theories, gluons and mesons, that really gives us a scientific base in terms of our fictional storytelling, to open up to another dimension and have something horrible come through.”

Let me guess… in the third act a giant something-or-other stomps its way through New York? Hey, at least he’s not trying to make a Coneheads sequel. Where is Bill Murray and his paper shredder when you need them?

Before the fanboy flames fire up, let’s remember the movie has been in development hell for decades, cash strapped Sony Pictures has been lukewarm on the project at best, and other than a remake (that no one wants) buzz around the threequel has never been positive. Dan is still the only one that seems interested in the project (save for that ONE offhand reference Ivan Retiman made once.) At this point, the question has become rhetorical, do you really want to see what happens to a beloved cinema classic (the first one that is) this far out?

No Murray, no Ghostbusters 3.

Source: Bleeding Cool

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Dan, We need to talk.

Mr. Aykroyd I, like the many others that may inadvertently read this personal letter cleverly disguised as a post on a nerd news site, can say I am a fan of so many things that you have brought to the big and small screen. First and foremost, the Ghostbusters‘ movies (with Spies Like Us a very close second) hold a special, special place and you remain in my top 5 list of original Saturday Night Live cast members that are Caucasian males with dark hair.

Over the past few years we have heard you entertain thoughts of a third movie about busting ghosts, and I will say I was on board. Right with you all up until it got a little bit silly. Right around the time when Bill (Murray) shredded the script (allegedly.) Not to say that his lack of interest in the project is part of why I think it is a bad idea, however his lack of involvement helps my decision.

Recently in an interview with Esquire magazine when asked about Sony’s recent financial problems leading to GB3 being delayed you responded with this:

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A couple weeks back the script to the upcoming RoboCop remake, directed by Brazilian filmmaker José Padilha and staring Joel Kinnaman as the titular half man/half robot, leaked and sounded like all crap. Hit Fix’s Drew McWeeny spent a whole morning ripping it apart on his twitter feed, rightfully so since it really sounded awful. Well, since then someone else has gotten their paws on the script  and puts forth a very different view. Superhero Hype’s Solidus refutes McWeeny’s claims that the plot is devoid of the originals social satire comparing it to Neill Blomkamp‘s sci-fi sleeper hit District 9 and says that it delves deeper into the characters loss of humanity as he becomes more man than machine.

“He moves quick. At first as Robo 1.0 he is somewhat slow. But he does move fast, he can run up to 30MPH and catch bad guys pretty quick. 

Other things, that I love is just the whole integration of wi-fi and how he is connected to everything. This is truly Robocop remade for the modern world, not the 80′s. 

I have said before I love the virtual evidence world he creates and re-creates a crime as it happens. I love how he is connected to every camera in the city and they are everywhere. 

There is also a motorcycle that is made specifically for him, it sounds pretty cool, it connects to him in a way. So he mainly drives his Cruiser motorcycle thing.”

Oh yea, and the whole RoboCop is now a Transformer thing? Apparently we shouldn’t worry.

“All that changes is the appearance of the texture of his armor and helmet, nothing more. He has a visor but it is more see through. 

Yea the armor just changes to different textures/slight bulkiness. But it makes it sound like in the script in many scenes that it transforms very very quickly. No body changing or arms becoming something else kind of stuff. 

He starts out more human, but OCP starts to mess with him and take away his emotions and he becomes very cold like the Robocop we know.”

Now, the script does continue to deviate from the source material, namely the absolute genesis of the character. Prepare for a  spoiler and a twist!

“The story does resolve around that they need Murphy he is the perfect candidate but they know he won’t agree to it. So they hire bad guys to pretty much knock him out and “surgically” blow him away so they can get program under way. And also make Murphy’s wife think that it is the only way to save Alex is to do this program and he will still be the man she loves. But lets say the company really back stabs that and then some. They just want a cold robot that does what it’s told but give the appearance to the press and public that he can have emotions. They set up the whole family wanting him back thing to give it a good clean image. But in reality the company is being horrible about it. 

One emotional part that turns him more to a machine (which is what the company and Norton wanted) was when they showed Murphy what was left of “him” they strip all his mechanical stuff and it is just some of his organs part of his head and a part of his brain. A pretty sad scene, especially when they make Murphy’s wife look at it, to get her to run away from wanting to still be with Alex.”

*dismissive wanking motion* 

Also, if you’ve seen/heard the rumors about Padilha being unhappy on set about being locked into a production, reject those lies! He’s happy! Fernando Meirelles claimed that Padilha was despondent over the project and faced 90% of his work being cut by studio suits, but Padilha recently told a Brazilian newspaper (translated by Latino Review) ”I have a script I’m happy with and I got the cast I have picked. The director of photography is Lula Carvalho, my editor is Daniel Rezende. I was even consulted for the selection of the producers.” He continues to say that the movie has had its share of  problems since it is a beloved property, but seemed mostly positive.

Well then.

So… is this where I get to be an old angry nerd? I still don’t see why this remake is necessary. Am I wrong for thinking the 1987 Paul Verhoeven film still holds up? Hell, the sequel from 1990 (largely based on a story by comic legend Frank Miller) built upon the concept and progressed the story further. For crying out loud, in ’93 the  third movie… It… well there was… actually, the third movie really sucked. Like sucked hard. So did the TV series.

Ok, the only way I support this project is purely based on the fact that it has a chance to replace how the franchise fell apart in the end. With the release date set for August 9th, 2013. They have their work cut out for them.

Source: CBM, 2

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When adapting a property for motion pictures, a sure bet is to pull from video games. With successes like, um… has any video game movie been a success? Well, is sounds like Crystal Sky Pictures is planning on testing the theory again with a Tekken movie, a prequel to the 2010 movie that I didn’t even know existed. Seriously, have any of you seen it?

Using the Cannes film festival as a platform to release the news, they also announced that they have tapped Ong Bak writer/director Prachya Pinkaew to helm the movie, entitled Tekken: Rise of the Tournament and  will star character look-a-likes over big-name actors.

Now, get ready for the twist. Katsuhiro Harada, the man behind the video game series tweeted on the topic.

Oooooooooh, the low leg sweep of tweets! Reportedly Harada hated and opposed the first one. Does he have the power to stop this one? If not, will anyone care? Oh so many questions. One thing is for certain though, most people probably stopped caring at the words ‘video game movie’, I know I did.

Source: Screen Rant

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Can someone please explain to me why this is still happening? Variety is reporting that Hasbro and Relativity Media have found the man that will make you believe a man can stretch.

Oh man, they are still making a live action Stretch Armstrong movie? Just wait, it gets better. The mans name is Dean Georgaris, he’s the guy who wrote Tristan + Isolde (ugh), The Manchurian Candidate (argh), Paycheck (oh good lord no), and Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (this now counts as a hate crime). That is all he has written too.

Want the hurting to stop? To bad. Georgaris’ plan is to write a more serious take on the movie (that is based off a toy that was popular at some point in the very distant past).  A  ’plausible, action-oriented family pic than a live-action cartoon that’d be strictly for kids’ as Variety puts it.

Also, it will be a franchise.

At the time of this writing it is unknown if Taylor Lautner of Twilight fame is still attached to play the titular character. He was originally on board with this back in 2010 when it was still Universal’s project.

I really hope Hasbro and Relativity Media can talk Lautner into doing this movie. Seriously, if you are making something that is weapons grade awful, he’s your man.

Source: CBM

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No one will ever accuse The Terminator about not following up with his whole “I’ll be back” catch phrase. Even if we beg him not to, it looks like he’ll be back again too. Arnold Schwarzenegger is currently attached to and developing a fifth Terminator movie. Yes, the same movie that Justin Lin dropped so he could go back to making more Fast and Furious movies.

Ponder that for a moment. The director walked out on the project so he could spend a few months saying ‘ok, now you drive really fast that way and try not to use big words.’

Now, the creator of the franchise and the man responsible for the two good ones, James Cameron, recently told MTV that he has already giving Arnie some friendly advice about the project.

“I was talking to him back in fall about a new ‘Terminator’ film and quietly advising on that, I suppose you could say.

I was trying to be as encouraging as possible. Frankly, at that time, I thought it needed to be more about him. I told him he should not do it until it’s focused on his character or he shouldn’t do it. I think there are some great stories that can be told about that character that haven’t even been thought of yet.”

I am going to assume this conversation took place atop a small mountain of cash and that when Cameron says he was ‘trying to be as encouraging as possible’, he really means ‘do whatever you want, I have a submarine and another blue-cat-elf movie to plan’.

He does make a good point though, if it is a Terminator movie, it does have to have focus on Arnie as a T-800. Which is exactly why you really can’t do another Terminator movie. He doesn’t really look like he did back in 1984, or even 1991. Hell, he barely pulled if off in 2003 and that was almost ten years ago.

I don’t see it working, not unless you do something to take into account his age.

hmmm…. Maybe change his other line?

“Come with me, I broke my hip”

You can watch the interview after the jump, and then tell me how wrong I am in the comments below.

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Now that the Hollywood adaption of Akira is dead, manga fans can breath a sigh of relief, right? Wrong! Deadline is reporting that Kamala Films has acquired the rights to 子連れ狼… you know Kozure Ōkami…. oh fine, Lone Wolf and Cub.

NO GOOD WILL COME OF THIS.

A massive Chanbara hit in the land of the rising sun back in the 70′s  by writer Kazuo Koike and artist Goseki Kojima, that became a cult hit in the west in the 80′s thanks to First Comics and Frank Miller, will now be brought to the big screen by the guy who gave us a movie about cars that run on vinegar ( I assume that, since they had so much douche inside them). Yes, director of no less than three of the five Fast and Furious movies (with a sixth on the way!), Justin Lin, has already been signed to bring the story of Ittō Ogami and his son Daigoro and their journey on the proverbial road to hell to the big screen.

Since this wound deal is fresh, there are few other details, other than screenwriters David and Janet Peoples have also been hired, and they have films like Blade Runner, Unforgiven and Twelve Monkeys on their resume. Maybe, just maybe this won’t be as horrible as I imagined it in the above photoshop.

Maybe?

Oh who am I kidding, what will truly be will make a Vin Diesel/Dwayne Johnson movie look like freakin’ Shakespeare.

Source: /Film

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Wow, the internet is not going to be happy today. They did it, those damn  maniacs did it. They blew it… I mean they officially announced the Watchmen prequels. They being DC Comics and Watchmen prequels being a soul shattering money grab. Officially called Before Watchmen, seven inter-connected prequel mini-series will build on the foundation of the original and have a back-up story called Curse of the Crimson Corsair, written by original series editor Len Wein and with art by original series colorist John Higgins. There will also be a single issue, Before Watchmen: Epilogue, featuring the work of various writers and artists.

“It’s our responsibility as publishers to find new ways to keep all of our characters relevant,” said DC Entertainment Co-Publishers Dan DiDio and Jim Lee. “After twenty five years, the Watchmen are classic characters whose time has come for new stories to be told. We sought out the best writers and artists in the industry to build on the complex mythology of the original.”

It’s also going to polarize the comic book community into those that think its a bad idea and those that think its a terrible idea. Wait, maybe I am being to harsh… Maybe this will lead to some great story telling by some fantastic creative teams that expands on the already classic book. DC Comics is betting one pretty damn big maybe here because the nerdrage is already flaming up various parts of the internet.

Seven comics that will follow the same pattern as Seven Soldiers did with  new issue out every week of its run. Here’s the rundown:

Rorschach by writer Brian Azzarello and artist Lee Bermejo

Comedian by Azzarello and artist J.G. Jones 

Minutemen by writer/artist Darwyn Cooke

Silk Spectre by Cooke and artist Amanda Conner 

Nite Owl by writer J. Michael Straczynski and artists Joe and Andy Kubert

Dr. Manhattan by Straczynski and artist J.G. Jones

Ozymandias by writer and original Watchmen editor Len Wein with art by Jae Lee

You have to admit, that is a rather impressive line-up DC has set up to pull this off. Clearly they know they are in an uphill battle so they brought out some big guns and I do wish nothing but good luck for them, they are going to need it.

The artist from the original classic Dave Gibbons gave a rather diplomatic response, “The original series of ‘Watchmen’ is the complete story that Alan Moore and I wanted to tell. However, I appreciate DC’s reasons for this initiative and the wish of the artists and writers involved to pay tribute to our work. May these new additions have the success they desire.”

Alan Moore is yet to comment on this announcement, but he has previously said that it is “completely shameless” and “I tend to take this latest development as a kind of eager confirmation that they are still apparently dependent on ideas that I had 25 years ago”, (oooh BURN!) that the series is a reminder of “draconian contracts” he signed with DC and that “I don’t want money. What I want is for this not to happen… As far as I know, there weren’t that many prequels or sequels to ‘Moby-Dick.’” Ouch, caps with a literary classic burn, Well done Mr. Moore.

You can hit the jump to see the released images for Before Watchmen and sound off/vent/rage in the comments.

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Damn it. I thought this was dead. In Hasbro’s quest to make every property they have ever had their grubby little paws on into a live action movie, I thought Stretch Armstrong was allowed to quietly drop and die.

Apparently Universal Pictures is out at least, since the toy manufacture announced that they are teaming up with Relativity Media for the project. Relativity’s CEO Ryan Kavanaugh will produce along with Hasbro’s Brian Goldner  and Bennett Schneir. The film has set a laughably ambitious release date of April 11th, 2014.

Relativity’s Co-President, Tucker Tooley had this to say:

“We are absolutely thrilled to partner with Hasbro, a company whose global reach and ability to innovate has made them immensely successful in the arena of brand re-imagination– as evidenced by their legacy of creating such franchises as TRANSFORMERS and G.I. JOE, We look forward to bringing Stretch Armstrong to audiences worldwide.”

“Stretch Armstrong is a great example of Hasbro’s rich portfolio of intellectual properties that we are continuing to develop globally, we are excited to partner with Relativity on this movie as they are a growing and innovative studio.”

I guess with Hasbro properties like the Transformers and G.I. Joe franchises making billions, and the upcoming Battleship, Monopoly and who knows what else movies in the pipe, they want to keep this money train going. Why a stretchy superhero you ask? All your answers are in the following video.

Who wouldn’t bank on that making millions?

Source: Coming Soon

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