Nerdy Bits: Trekkie Boobs, Darth Alien Helmet, No More Magic Stuffs On eBay, ‘Seasons of Love’ Sung in Klingon and MOAR!

- 08-21-12Cool Stuff, Cosplay, Funny Videos, Videogames Posted by Luke Gallagher

Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut. Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at

ABOVE:  Join the Federation. We have boobs…and corsets! This might be an appropriate time to say the word “engage”.[CBM]


‘Game of Thrones’ Burlesque

- 07-26-12Cool Stuff Posted by Luke Gallagher

Ya know… just when I decide to tone back the sexuality around here, I get a message in my inbox informing me of a Game of Thrones burlesque show. Of course, I have to blog about it. It’s too hot pass up. Oi! Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in! Nerd Bastards is never gonna be classy… ’cause you know, I’m trying.

Anyhow, GoT  fans gathered at a bar on the Bowery Tuesday night for a burlesque show featuring performers channeling characters from the hit HBO series.

The show, hosted by  Hotsy Totsy Burlesque, featured performers Corvette Le Face (playing Khal Drogo), Bambi Galore (as Cersei Lannister),  Sasha the Fire Gypsy (as Daenerys Targaryen), Vada James (as Sansa Stark) and host Cherry Pitz (as Tyrion Lannister).

Fire. Dancing. Tassels. It was a Westeros fantasy come true.

Hit the jump for a (pretty SAFE FOR WORK) gallery.


Writer/Director Nicolas Winding Refn Building His Career So He Can Earn the Right to Direct ‘Wonder Woman'; and He Wants Christana Hendricks to Star

- 06-20-11Comics, Film Posted by Luke Gallagher

Every time the topic of Wonder Woman comes up, I am inclined to run down the list of why she sucks. I’m absconding, because I’d just preaching to the choir. We all love the idea of Wonder Woman (a symbol for female empowerment), but fundamentally, we all know that she’s a weak character that’s never had any real sense of quality or connectivity. Which is why a television show or feature length will never work. Yea, yea….it was cute int he 70’s with the Lynda Carter short-shorts hour, but those were different times. Since then, there has been two major attempts to realize the amazon princess on the big and small screen. The first being a failed feature-length movie by nerd deity Joss Whedon. It got canned because of conflictions with Warner Bros. interests. Neither party wanted to make the same movie. The second, and most recent, was the failed Wonder Woman pilot on NBC by David E. Kelly (Ally Mcbeal). A few piss-poor costume design choices and a bull-shit ‘woman struggling in a big city’ story had fans flinging da poo. It was axed before the pilot episode was even finished shooting. Point is, if two of Hollywood biggest writers can’t produce a quality product, then take it as a sign that this character is not workable or sellable. Leave the star spangled panty bitch in the funnys.

Regardless of all that, some people like to dream. Such as the case of writer/director Nicolas Winding Refn. He wants to make a Wonder Woman movie … and he’s put his career on a path to make it happen.

IndieWire quoted Refn as saying, “I have this dream concept: I want to make Wonder Woman as a feature. And I thought in order get to access to that I should probably become a bit more Hollywood-friendly.”

Refn, a Danish filmmaker who made a name for himself with movies about drug deals gone wrong, recently made his first American movie, Drive, about a drug deal gone wrong.

According to IndieWire, “Refn’s playing the long game on this one, confessing that he took Drive partly to boost his bankability with studios.”

As it happens, Drive won the 2011 Cannes Film Festival Award for Best Director, which gave him enough cred to be tapped for the reboot of Logan’s Run, currently in preproduction.

Logan’s Run will be a Warner Bros. movie … the same media conglomerate that owns DC Comics. If Logan’s Run performs well, Refn really does stand a chance at choosing his next project. And there’s no doubt as to what he would choose, saying, “Wonder Woman is probably something that, to me, would be not just a satisfaction, but almost a [catharsis], and I was born to make it.”

OK, as much I’d like to make fun of this guy for being delusional, I gotta say it’s nice to see a director who is enthusiastic about his career path, and who’s committed to a worth-while property. Though honestly, I think I may be a little biased, simply because of his choice of who he thinks should play Wonder Woman. If he had his way, he’d have ex Drive star Christina Hendricks (Firefly, Mad Men) play our Amazon princess. Refn was quoted saying “If I ever get to do it, she’s going to be it.”

Hendricks as Wonder Woman? I can see the cleavage now. oh god please let this happen. Boobage aside, her role on ‘Firefly’ is a fine indication of how she can pull off being a butt-kicking babe.

IndieWire wrote, “Hendricks seems to want to do the project as much as Refn, saying in an interview last year that ‘I’ve been wanting to wear that outfit my whole life … I had Underoos — I had Wonder Woman Underoos.'”

Bottom line, I like Refn’s passion and casting choice for the TITular character (see what I did there?). And, I like him as a director. Having seen ‘Drive’ and the under rated ‘Valhalla Rising’, his films are like gigantic pieces of abstract art. Pretty nifty stuff. As much as I hate Wonder Woman, a man like this might actually be able to give the character some justice. Will have to wait and see how the next couple years play out and pray to god Christina Hendricks face doesn’t fall a part from age, or that her boobs deflate.


THOR! Usher “More” Parody

- 05-03-11Funny Videos Posted by Luke Gallagher

Memba that Transformers-themed Black Eyed Peas parody video from a few months back? Ya know, the one with the girl dressed as bumblebee, or *ahem* otherwise known as bumbledeedee -’cause she has massive mammies (girl is the tits. Literally). Anyway that snappy, toe-tapping jingle was from the minds of nerdy music troupe Screen Team.

Well, the maestros of nerd culture tunes, Angie Griffin (Tits Mcgee) and Chad Nikolaus are back. This time with “Thor! Usher “More: Parody”.

Now, no nerd in their right mind purposely likes Usher so you might not be familiar with his song “More”, but  I don’t think you don’t need to know the original song to enjoy the video. Especially with lines like “I’m a beast. I’m a warrior. I’m that real bastard from asgard”,  “watch your ass well I’m swinging mjolnir” and “I can literally make it rain because I’m Thor”. Plus there’s plenty of slow motion Gallagher type hammer smashing and least not forget Angie Griffins tits.

via: ToplessRobot

D&D Burlesque Show – Why Yes, Those Are Natural 20’s!

- 04-11-11Cosplay Posted by Mark Poynter

The times, they are a changing. Where once Nerds couldn’t get a girl to even say the words Dungeons and Dragons without smirking, laughing uncontrollably, and quickly making a hasty retreat, now it seems that attractive women want to dress up in our favorite nerdy costumes and dance for us. Back in my day we didn’t have it so good, it was a copy of Gore magazine and hopes that an Italian Horror movie review had some pictures with skin showing.

The music was pretty kicking, it was an edited version of Charisma Potion by MC Frontalot. The ladies in the video were:

Anja Keister – D20 & Call of Cthulu
Lily Stitches – Codex from The Guild (Felicia Day’s in game avatar)
BB Heart – Nosferatu from Vampire: The Masquerade
Hazel Honeysuckle – Sheila the Thief from Dungeons and Dragons cartoon
Dangrrr Doll – Paula from Earthbound and a Barbarian from Dungeons and Dragons

You can also enjoy some pictures from the D20 Burlesque at Parkside Lounge taken by an audience member. These types of shows are gonna make the jump to the big conventions. You should check one out next time you go get your Geek on at a local convention. Ladies like these deserve all the support we can give them.

Via: ToplessRobot

Wondercon Cosplay Compilation

- 04-05-11Cosplay Posted by NickBungay

When most people say the name WonderCon they use to think of it as just the younger brother of San Diego’s world famous Comic-Con. Back when San Francisco’s young convention started out it was just something to pass the time in the Bay-area until the grand-daddy of conventions came back around for the weekend. As WonderCon has begun to get into the convention circuit and grow faster then the Hulk getting angry, it has garnered quite a following of supports, but more importantly Cosplayers. What started out with an almost non-existent presence, has become a haven for people who like to dress up as their favorite fictional characters.

Thanks to Mark Day, a camera and some well done editing, he has compiled video compilation showing you as many cosplayers as he could at this year’s WonderCon. Watch it now below:

Cameras at the ready



Whorelore at it’s Finest in ‘Elfquest: A Fan Imagining’

- 04-05-11Cosplay, Film Posted by Luke Gallagher

Aaaaah Elfquest. I never read it, but I know a lot of people who do. It’s rather surprising that Hollywood hasn’t bastardized it with a movie. Will leave that to the fan-boys. Er….fan-girls.

A few geeky fangirls took it upon themselves to create a short, but rather impressive teaser trailer for an “ElfQuest” film. There isn’t much to the trailer, but according to the official ElfQuest Fan Fiction website, the project is a labor of love and their goal is to “create new fans and give existing ones a taste of the world we’ve loved for so long.”

Here’s what the actresses and producers had to say:

“Both of us have been fans of EQ since we were little girls, and this project is a complete labor of love. We are working actresses and producers in the New Media circle and when we discovered our shared lifelong love for this series we were spurred to action. ElfQuest showed us the heroines that we could aspire to become and its magic shaped us, ultimately leading us into the creative entertainment sphere. So we owe it a lot!”

Blah…blah…blah. Elf ears on scantily clad lovely ladies? I’m fapping with glee. MOAR PLZ!

Just How Do Super Heroines Fit in Those Skimpy Outfits? Body Paint

- 03-07-11Comics, Cool Stuff Posted by Sarah Moran


For your Monday morning…err afternoon enjoyment here’s video of sexy women being painted to look like some of our favorite super women. Plus, they’re Brazilian, and being painted up for Rio De Janeiro’s Carnival. The video is NSFW, nipple can been seen on more than one these lovely ladies. Watch over at io9 and if you need even more super-powered, body-painted eye candy click over to Globo (sign-in required). Bleeding Cool also managed some screencaps, which are below the jump, which are again NSFW. Unless everyone else at work wants to look at titties, then I think your all right.

Body painting adds a hint of realism to what are usually outrageously designed costumes. And these women, just like women in comics, have the ability for their boobs to defy gravity. It’s just not fair! You’ll never see Wonder Woman or Elektra have a saggy day, never. Grr. Of course for me, personally, I wouldn’t mind if they had painted up a few fellas. Ryan Reynold’s Green Lantern costume already looks painted on, they should just skip out on the CGI and paint him up.

source: io9, Bleeding Cool


Even a Reservoir Can’t Hold all the Fluids in the ‘Reservoir Dogs XXX’ Parody

- 02-25-11Film Posted by Luke Gallagher


I’m not gonna lie, I watch a lot of pr0n…like a lot. In my opinion “you get busy fappin’ or get busy dyin'”. So, suffice to say I’m a huge fan of adult films, namely the ones that parody pop culture. It’s nerd wish fulfillment to see fictional idols takin’ it in the pooper. I’m obviously not the only one, because these parodies have flooded the market. Ya got everything from the 60’s Batman to Avatar. People are buying em’ up. It’s crazy.

Now, the most recent parody coming our way is a naughty take on Quentin Tarantino‘s cult classic Reservoir Dogs. After just watching the recent trailer, I dunno how I feel about it.When I first heard about the flick, I thought it was genius. The raunchy d*ck rant in the original films opening sequence was reason enough to warrant my curiosity. Not to mention how they might pornify the cutting off of the cops ear. Or, Mr. Orange bleeding all over the back seat of Mr. White’s car. However, reality vs. my expectation didn’t exactly meet-up. The trailer is good, I guess (for adult standards anyway). It’s just too literal. Seriously, parody means humor. None of which was evident. We didn’t even get one single side boob (the poor mans spank material). Like, the whole “Why can’t we pick our own names?” scene. They could have at least used porno code names. Miss Lube. Miss Rimshot. Then they could have had the joke: “Why do I have to be Miss asslicker? I wanna be miss nipple.” I kept expecting to see something about the straight razor and what she would cut off…instead of the ear. But I bet that is what she hacks off. Instead she should have tried to suck his brain out of his …johnson.

Check out the -SAFE FOR WORK- trailer below and tell me what you think,

Running in at 3 hours (3 hours?!? Shit, I’m lucky if I make it past the trailers) ‘Reservoir Dogs XXX’ is a re-shoot of the original film, but with a whole lot of sleaze. A faithful re-creation might in fact be as entertaining as watching a goofy spoof.

The release date for this Exquisite Films production is TBA. The cast includes Chanel Preston as Ms. Orange, Andy San Dimas as Ms White, Lizzy Borden as Ms. Blonde, Kimberly Kane as Ms. Pink and Raylene as Nice Girl Eddie.

source: bleedingcool

The Do’s and Dont’s of Nerdy Pole Dancing

- 02-09-11Cool Stuff Posted by Mark Poynter
Red hair and a hand-me-down pole? She must be a Weasley

Red hair and a hand-me-down pole? She must be a Weasley

Pole dancing isn’t just for strippers anymore: it’s moved into the Sexy Nerdy Girl artistic outlet zone.   Not satisfied with simple Cosplay, LethalBlonde0911 combined her love of Harry Potter Cosplay with her quite impressive skills on the pole.  Throw in a killer sound track of “Harry Potter and the Half-Dub Remix” by Terabyte Frenzy, and it goes from interesting to Nerdbastard Sexy is less than 60 seconds.  There’s no stripping in this . . . and LethalBlonde0911 doesn’t need to.  Her skills on the pole are more than enough to get this Nerdbastard’s full attention, and any loose bills in my wallet.

Another great example of Nerdy Pole dancing is Pyxichik’s Doctor Who interpretation.  It was delightfully sexually confusing for me to see the Doctor move that way.

source: blastr