If you like old people running around shooting each other and blowing stuff up, then you probably enjoyed the out of the hit action-comedy Red. I, for one, didn’t really care for it. Had it’s moments (pretty much everything involving John Fucking Malkovich!), but overall, I thought it was boring. Now, the sequel however, looks like a high-octane, wild ride!
Summit Entertainment has released a new trailer for director Dean Parisot’s (Galaxy Quest) action-comedy sequel Red 2. The spy follow-up pits ex-CIA operative Frank Moses (Bruce Willis) against Victoria (Helen Mirren) when MI6 greenlights his assassination as Interpol’s “Most Wanted.” The entire cast of the original are reunited, while bringing on some fresher blood in the form of Catherine Zeta-Jones, Lee Byung-hun, David Thewlis, and Anthony Hopkins. The latter of whom, looks hilarious!
I get nervous every-time Bruce Willis cracks a smile, but this look extremely entertaining. It’s like a funny version of The Expendables.
Here’s the official synopsis for Red 2:
In RED 2, the high-octane action-comedy sequel to the worldwide sleeper hit, retired black-ops CIA agent Frank Moses reunites his unlikely team of elite operatives for a global quest to track down a missing portable nuclear device. To succeed, they’ll need to survive an army of relentless assassins, ruthless terrorists and power-crazed government officials, all eager to get their hands on the next-generation weapon. The mission takes Frank and his motley crew to Paris, London and Moscow. Outgunned and outmanned, they have only their cunning wits, their old-school skills, and each other to rely on as they try to save the world—and stay alive in the process.
The one persistent thought that went through my mind while watching G.I. Joe: Retaliation was that the childhood adventures I puppeteered with my G.I. Joe figures where much more creative and fun than anything cooked up by the filmmakers in charge of this franchise. Of course, I would throw Transformers, Star Wars guys, He-Man and other toys into the mix, an impractical possibility on a corporate and imaginative level, but it was infinitely more satisfying than what they’ve put up on screen. Twice. And in spire of all the different players I threw in during my playtime, infinitely more logical too.
But if there’s a single improvement that G.I. Joe: Retaliation makes over it’s predecessor, The Rise of Cobra, it’s that it feels like someone put two minutes of research into military tactics and structure, not to mention two minutes of research into the actual franchise it’s based on. Basically, it looks like how a G.I. Joe movie should look, at least until Ray Stevenson as Cobra merc Firefly unleashes a flurry of mechanical a fireflies with exploding butts while riding a motorcycle that separates into several independent rocket propelled grenades. But I digress.
This sequel is set several of years after the original, and the “Nanomite Wars” have come and gone. Duke (Channing Tatum) now leads G.I. Joe, and the President (Jonathan Pryce) is still Zartan (Arnold Vosloo) in disguise. But now’s the time that Cobra is putting their master plan into motion. Framing the Joes for the theft of a nuclear weapon from Pakistan, Zartan takes the chance to use his executive privilege to eliminate them, and then calls for the worldwide disarmament of all nuclear weapons. But before you can say “peacenik,” three Joes survived the Cobra blitz, and Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson) leads Flint (D.J. Cotrona) and Lady Jaye (Adrianna Palicki) come back to America to, well, retaliate.
First off all, while I appreciate the effort to make this grounded and suggest that this takes place in something resembling the real world, the idea of the Joes saving defectors from North Korea and securing loose nukes in Pakistan seems rather a far cry from the old storylines involving Cobra’s weather control machine and stealing the DNA of the world’s greatest tyrants to create a super Cobra-leading tyrant. It’s just jarring is all, like suddenly seeing Stephen Colbert host the CBS Evening News.
But that would be bad enough if they hadn’t of kept a lot of that silliness from the first movie. There’s a rather elongated scene where Roadblock and Duke play Call of Duty and suck, and at one point Cobra Commander tells Destro that he’s “out of the band.” Justified’s Walton Goggins also appears as the warden of Cobra Commander’s prison, and it seems like for a minute that he’s in an entirely different movie all together. In fact, I would say that G.I. Joe: Retaliation is actually made up of about three or four different movies making it a Russian nesting doll of a blockbuster. There’s the war movie, the fugitive movie, the kung-fu movie, and something resembling a combination platter or RED, The Rock, Die Another Day, Battleship, Olympus Has Fallen, Red Dawn and xXx: State of the Union. Basically, the screenwriters have Netflix and proved it.
I give kudos to Dwayne Johnson through because Retaliation‘s many faults he’s still a reliable and magnetic leading man. Poor Channing Tatum gets the shaft (again) despite the fact that some of the rumors of Retaliation’s delayrevolved around capitalizing on the actor’s rising stardom, Duke’s total screentime doesn’t mount to a hill of beans. But if you can say anything for Tatum it’s that his limited presence makes more of an impression than D.J. Cotrona, and he has more of a character than Bruce Willis’ General Colton, who basically comes across as Bruce Willis with a rank. (I’m genuinely surprised he didn’t get a “Yippee Ki-yay!” at any point.) The film does make good use of Adrianna Palicki’s assets, but probably not in the way that she, or any other even marginally feminist viewer of G.I. Joe might like. One wonders if the term “irony” passed through the minds of director Jon M. Chu when he followed up a scene of Lady Jaye bristling at Gen Colton’s characterization of her as a secretary, with a scene of Jaye in sweats using her sex appeal to lure the President’s chief of staff into a kidnapping.
Speaking of Chu, I wonder if he was in over his head. His past experience capturing poppin’ fresh dance moves in the Step-Up series of films and the Justin Bieber documentary doesn’t exactly prepare one for making a big Hollywood action movie. But the action in Retaliation, I have to say, is fine. Where the film is lacking is tight editing, pacing and direction. Logic would have also been nice, but I don’t expect miracles from these things. Really though, when the doomsday plan seems horribly stupid and the machine by which you’ll achieve it has a super lame function, is saving the world really such a big deal. And by the way, ninja’s are cool because they’re mysterious, so going into the lengthy backstory of the ancient Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow rivalry is as counterproductive as it is lame.
But did the film do anything right? As I said, Johnson was solid, and I liked the tangible parts of this world, like how all the vehicles used looked real. And by the way, thanks for actually giving us a Cobra Commander we can recognize, although I still miss Chris Latta‘s patented screeching voice ordering Cobra’s retreat. But if there is to be a G.I. Joe 3, and there’s no reason to expect that there won’t be, maybe we can try something serious, something that seems less jokey all the time. And we need to reaffirm the proper definition of terrorist. A terrorist group, like Cobra’s supposed to be, isn’t going to squander time putting a puppet President in place, so that the fake President can organize a world conference to get rid of nuclear weapons. If they can get to the President, they’re going to kill him on live TV for the shock value and damn the consequences. (Although the White House draped in Cobra flags is till a cool visual.)
So let’s consider how a G.I. Joe movie should really look. Below is a clip of the opening to the animated 1987 G.I. Joe The Movie. Now forgetting all the insane snake people, Nemesis Enforcer and Cobra-La bull$#!% that follows in the next 77 minutes, this three minute intro has everything a G.I. Joe movie should: big action, a simple, understandable plot and some damn satisfying patriotic imagery. “Yo Joe!” indeed.
In a few more weeks we’ll see the fruit of studio demands to add more action, more 3-D, and more Channing Tatum to G.I. Joe: Retaliation. In the meantime, here’s some action-packed footage featuring Tatum, Adrianne Palicki, Ray Park, Dwayne Johnson and Bruce Willis.Curiously, a lot of Palicki’s action scenes seem to be more about her looking hot than kicking ass, but hey, whatever.
Here’s the action reel:
Here’s the lot synopsis in case you’ve forgotten:
In this sequel, the G.I. Joes are not only fighting their mortal enemy, Cobra, they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence. The film stars D.J. Cotrona, Byung-hun Lee, Adrianne Palicki, Ray Park, Jonathan Pryce, RZA, Ray Stevenson, Channing Tatum with Bruce Willis and Dwayne Johnson. Directed by Jon M. Chu, and produced by Lorenzo di Bonaventura and Brian Goldner, written by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick based on Hasbro’s G.I. Joe characters.
The long, long, wait is almost over for director Jon Chu‘s G.I.Joe: Retaliation. With just over a month to go there’s a new international trailer and television spot hitting the internet. There is plenty of action in these two pieces, and the more I’ve seen so far has wiped away any initial fears I had about Chu and his Step Up movie background.
Who didn’t have some serious doubts when that directors choice news first broke? That nagging voice in the back of my head only got stronger at the announcement of the year-long delay to convert the movie to 3D, or add more Channing Tatum if the Internet rumors were to be believed. Throw in Chu’s background in hip hop dance movies (Step Up 3D, Step Up 2, Justin Bieber:Never Say Never) and this G.I.Joe fan-boy was pretty damn nervous.
Then the trailers and clips started hitting the Internet and I slowly started to got excited; opening day at the movies kind of excited. This movie has a great cast, (Love me some Ray parks and Ray Stevenson – 13!!!! – Rome fans will know what I’m talking about.) Throw in The Rock, some Bruce Willis and some sexy ninja ladies and you’ve got some real movie magic happening.
What do you think, will this movie crush it at the box office? Those toys have been sitting on store shelves for a long time. Can this movie rekindle that toy selling spark?
G.I.Joe: Retaliation blasts its way onto theater screens March 27th and stars Dwayne Johnson, Channing Tatum, Bruce Willis, Adrianne Palicki, Walton Goggins, Ray Park, Byung-hun Lee, Elodie Yung, RZA, Ray Stevenson, and D.J. Cotrona.
The International TV spot:
A follow-up to the 2009 release of G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA, which grossed over $300M worldwide, Paramount Pictures, MGM and Skydance Productions, in association with HASBRO and di Bonaventura Pictures, commences production on G.I. JOE: RETALIATION. In this sequel, the G.I. Joes are not only fighting their mortal enemy Cobra; they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence. The film stars D.J. Cotrona, Byung-hun Lee, Ray Park, Adrianne Palicki, Jonathan Pryce, RZA, Ray Stevenson, Channing Tatum with Bruce Willis and Dwayne Johnson. Directed by Jon M. Chu, and produced by Lorenzo di Bonaventura and Brian Goldner, from a screenplay by Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick based on Hasbro’s G.I. Joe(R) characters, the film is scheduled to be released on March 27, 2012.
Eating some warm apple pie at a baseball game, while listening to Elvis and simultaneously watching Star Wars, all on a sunny afternoon in the middle of June. What could possibly be more American than that? Leathered New York Detective and figurative “cowboy”, John McClane donkey-punching the foreign accent right out of your greedy terrorist tooth-box, that’s what! Bruce Willis’ iconic movie character, John McClane, is a legend. He’s been smugly smirking, scowling and begrudgingly eliminating villains, in the most entertaining of ways, for over 25 years. Just like every other stubborn, jaded American cowboy, he doesn’t know the definition of giving up. But at age 57, maybe he should look it up, because that’s exactly what this movie did, was to give up.
You know that Simpsons where Poochie is introduced to the “Itchy & Scratchy Show,” and in the first episode of the new “Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show,” the cat and mouse duo are heading to the fireworks factory, and they come across Poochie, who starts rapping about who he is and why he has so much attitude, and then Milhouse, watching the show, gets all flustered and shouts, “When are they going to get to the fireworks factory?!”
Yeah, waiting for G.I. Joe: Retaliation has been a lot like that.
Here are two new TV spots for the movie, which will be out in theaters on March 29th.
In this sequel, the G.I. Joes are not only fighting their mortal enemy Cobra; they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence. The film stars D.J. Cotrona, Byung-hun Lee, Ray Park, Adrianne Palicki, Jonathan Pryce, RZA, Ray Stevenson, Channing Tatum with Bruce Willis and Dwayne Johnson. Directed by Jon M. Chu, and produced by Lorenzo di Bonaventura and Brian Goldner, from a screenplay by Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick based on Hasbro’s G.I. Joe characters.
This time, on The Bastardcast: Jeremy and Jason talk about the possible death of the Justice League, the rise of the solo Star Warsfilms and how they relate to the cinema film Little Man, Godzilla‘s meth dealer, Bruce Willis and the power of words, GI Joe and the Patriot Act, and a porn star in S-P-A-C-E!!!
The boys also discuss the weeping soul blister that was the return of the Dan Harmonless Community, the return of The Walking Dead, kitty cats on the Monopoly board, art vs. commerce in video games, and part 2 of our epic tribute to Bill Murray, code name: #FebruMurray, alternative code name: If we blow him enough with our words, he’ll surely come sing karaoke with us/Operation Thunder.
So come on down, have some pancakes, and let us uplift, educate, and violate you with this edition of The Bastardcast!
The Bastardcast: Against dolphin rape since before it was a thing.
Admit it, the moment you saw the words “Die Hard” flash onto your television screen earlier this year, your mind filled with visions of explosions and John McClane one-liners. It’s pretty much a lock that A Good Day to Die Hardis going to be a success considering the amount of promotional and marketing work that’s gone into the production, but how much of a success this latest venture into the Die Hard franchise will be, remains to be seen. Don’t worry much about this being the last Die Hard movie in the franchise though, there’s already talk of another sequel in the works.
Bruce Willis has already expressed his interest doing a sixth film in a recent interview during the live BBC daily television program One Show. According to reports about the interview, when asked if a sixth Die Hard was on the horizon, Willis grinned coyly and said “Yes.”
What’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?
This could be his way of having a bit of fun and messing with the hosts, but it’s most likely just Willis restating what he said a few years back when Willis said he would retire McClane after a fifth or sixth Die Hard was released. Depending on the opening weekend’s box office results, that could be a possibility either way even if those box office results go stale for A Good Day to Die Hard. Of course it might just be one final push by Willis and Fox to pull in some last minute interest in this latest Die Hard film. A Good Day to Die Hardhits theater screens February 14th, 2013.
When we find out in the coming weeks we’ll let you know if and when Die Hard 6: Just Die is on the way to your local theater.
One of the remaining casting holes in Sin City: A Dame To Kill For was filled when MTV caught up with Robert Rodriquez at Sundance. Rodriquez confirms that Bruce Willis will be back to reprise his role as John Hartigan. The other big Sin City role that is still waiting for a final casting decision is the role of Ava Lord.
We have some choices in mind [for Ava Lord but] we haven’t finalized the casting. She doesn’t shoot for a couple weeks.
Rodriquez also talked about the shooting already completed:
[Juno Temple] just shot, she was fantastic. Her and Ray Liotta played together, they were amazing. Jeremy Piven shot just last night… we were shooting last night, all night. There are some characters from the book. It might surprise people who they play and the turns that they do… Bruce [Willis] is back, so you’ll be seeing him…
He also spoke about shooting the film in 3D and it’s effect on the film style:
We shot this in 3D. We didn’t shoot Sin City in 3D. I wouldn’t want to convert that one probably. The difference in shooting it is just… you can’t even compare.
Because this is a very two dimensional world it’s very stylised. To see that kind of stylisation in 3D will blow people’s mind.
You can check out the whole chat in the video below. Are you excited to see this movie really moving forward?
Dean Parisot‘s RED 2, the follow up sequel to the hit movie RED, (Retired-Extremely-Dangerous) based on the comic book by Warren Ellis and Cully Hammer has posted it’s first trailer. If this trailer is any indication, the sequel is set to be as fantastic a ride as the first. Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Mary-Louise Parker, Helen Mirren, and Karl Urban are all returning with the addition of Anthony Hopkins, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Byung-Hun Lee, Neal McDonough and David Thewlis.
The gang of clandestine operative retirees are back, wrecking their way across Europe.
RED 2 will blow up theater screens starting August 2nd.
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