As nerds, we connect to fictional personalities in a way “normal” people often look at as oddly serious, if not downright creepy. I’m not saying we don’t understand the difference between fantasy and reality – I’m merely pointing out that many of us are creative, sensitive people. Well-crafted imaginary characters often resonate deeply with us, and their losses can be quite harrowing. While I’m sure there are a few folks out there who’d love to re-enact key scenes from Misery with, let’s say, Joss Whedon (I’m half convinced he’s only bringing back Agent Coulson for S.H.I.E.L.D so he can slaughter him in an even more traumatizing manner), most of us stick to bitching and moaning on the Internet, threatening to boycott the shows in question, and then coming back for more next week.

But however much outrage and despair they may inspire, character deaths are often some of the most memorable moments on television – and feature some of the best writing and performances as well. Sure, there’s no shortage of poorly thought out, bullshit deaths, but they’re for another list. Get out your hankies, my nerdy brethren and sistren, and prepare to have your hearts kicked in the balls all over again with The Top 10 Saddest, Most Gut Wrenching Deaths in Nerdy Television.

NOTE: As most of you will have assumed simply from the nature of this list, it features spoilers galore. If you haven’t seen one of the shows featured, and wish to feel the full emotional impact of seeing one of its characters snuff it, I advise you to skip the entry in question. Enjoy!

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Oh sure, he reigns supreme now, standing high above us all on Nerd mountain following the success of The Avengers (meh), but like all of us, Joss Whedon has regrets.

For instance, there is that time he wore that salmon and grey colored henley jersey shirt for 14 consecutive months, the time he didn’t blame more people for the failure of Alien: Resurrection, the time he turned down an Indecent Proposal-style offer that could have gotten Firefly a back 9 (Robert Redford was inexplicably powerful at Fox in the early aughts, but I’ll never know why he craved Alan Tudyk in that way) and apparently, that time that he wasn’t able to sell the Buffy animated series.

Here’s what Whedon had to say on the non-life of the Buffy-toon during a Q&A at the Director’s Guild:

“We got to do almost everything we wanted to do. The only thing we didn’t get to do is an animated version, which was a delight for us because the writers themselves were working on it. We wrote seven scripts … it was ‘what could we not do [on the regular series].’ They were really fun to write. We could not sell the show. We could not sell an animated Buffy, which I still find incomprehensible.”

Thankfully for Whedon and us, he has continued the Buffy story into the comic book realm with Dark Horse’s Buffy series. Within those pages, Whedon and his shiny cohorts have been able to take Buffy to the limit without the bounds of a TV budget.

Whedon even got to pay homage to the dashed cartoon in the 20th issue of Buffy Season 8, “After These Messages… We’ll Be Right Back”. Written by Jeph Loeb (who worked with Whedon on the Buffy animated series and who is now working with him on the SHIELD pilot) and partially drawn by Eric Wight, the sorta-one shot cuts into Buffy’s dreams as she remembers the comparatively calmer days of season one, so if you really want the scoop on what the Buffy Animated Series would have felt like, go pick up the comic and find out.

Source: Blastr, Assignment X

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I don’t think shawarma has ever been as popular as it is these days in our post-Avengers world. Honestly, how many of you were familiar with the Arabian dish before the movie? How many of you desperately Googled where you could grab some locally? Shawarma fever struck the nation and all thanks to one man, Joss Whedon. But where did he come up with the exotic food Iron Man craved after falling through an inter-dimensional portal and crashing to Earth? Xander. Or rather, Nicholas Brendon when he auditioned for the role on Buffy The Vampire Slayer all those years ago.

All credit goes to the diligent work of super Buffy fan, J.P. Gagen for unearthing this clip from bonus features for Buffy The Vampire Slayer‘s Chosen Collection. In the clip below listen as Whedon and Brendon fondly remember his audition and the one word that got Brendon the gig,

And, apparently, inspired what was the most talked about post-credit scene ever. That scene, which if you’ve somehow missed, can be watched below. Do think Joss actually recalled that audition when coming up with Robert Downey Jr.’s now infamous line or has he just become a shawarma fanatic since then?

Source: Cinema Blend

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This time on Episodes! Jason is joined by NerdBastards own Nick Bungay and Paul Smith from the Gobbledygeek podcast to discuss the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode “The Body”, as well as a few other things (Jason & Paul’s dueling views on rad soap opera’s, Nick’s lack of Saved by the Bell knowledge, and Doritos)

So, what is the Episodes! podcast? It is NerdBastards‘ second podcast and it focuses on the wonderful world of television. Good shows, bad shows, new shows, old shows — all are in danger of having one of their classically good or classically bad episodes deconstructed and examined by our host — Bastardcast co-host Jason Tabrys — and a weekly special guest (or sometimes two). Yes, really it’s quite grand.

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Dark Horse Comics is in line to release a new Buffy season 9 comic book spin-off featuring as its main character the loveable, soulful Spike.  The miniseries, titled Spike of course, is set to run for five issues and features Victor Gischler in the writing department and Paul Lee on pencils.

Following the end of season 9 series, Spike was left in a bit of a state cause Buffy didn’t want to be his main squeeze.  So what happens next?  That’s what Spike is set to explain.

Here are a few sneak peak panels showing Spike… on a spaceship… with an army of supplicant, battle armor-clad cockroaches.  Yeah, it all makes sense when it comes to the Buffy-verse.

Take a look and see what you think:

For the Buffy fans that must know what happens next, the first issue of Spike is set to release on August 22^nd.

Thanks to ComicBookMovie for the info.

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Don’t let the ambiguous first name fool you; I’m a lady. Always have been. And, despite the beaten path previous generations of women have carved for me, being a lady has had its ups and down.  The positive role models are sparse, the pay gap is insulting, and the fashion is humiliating (skinny jeans are good for no one. NO ONE.)  As a child, it was easier.  While the other girls braided their hair, or whatever the hell they did, I ran with the boys. We hollered into sewer grates for Ninja Turtles, built rocket ships out of cardboard boxes, and argued over who got to be Egon in a healthy round of Ghostbusters. We were nerds, or at least we would be eventually. In all of these imaginary scenarios, I never got to play a main character (with the exception of Voltron); as the only girl, my roles in the imaginary games were general limited. Of course I didn’t get to play Egon; my options were the helpless Sigourney Weaver role, or Slimer. I generally opted for Slimer (more opportunities to spit). I know this experience is not unique to my childhood. There are countless other ladies out there, children of the eighties, whose playtime was diminished by a lack of viable, heroic, female characters to emulate.

As time has gone by, and my childhood has turned to agonizing adulthood, the roles of women in nerdery have changed.  We’re no longer resigned to be the boobly and helpless damsel. There’s still sooooo far to go, but we’re making headway. We, at NerdBastards, think it’s time more light was shined on the women who are transforming the role of women in science fiction. The women who are breaking stereotypes and creating science-fiction gold.

We’re kicking off our first edition of Great Women in Nerdery with one of the most notable contributors to the modern cannon of science fiction, Jane Espenson.  Had my childhood contained a Jane Espenson, my games of make believe would have been rife with characters to play.  From writng and producing Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Battlestar Galactica, to penning episodes of Firefly, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, and Torchwood, Espenson has a hand in some of the most pivotal and memorable shows in modern nerdom.  Her current projects, Once Upon a Time and Husbands (one of the only web series worth watching), are both one season in, and set to return for a second.   We had a chance to talk with Jane and ask her about her experiences as a women in a male dominated industry.  It’s not all serious faces and social politics, though. We’d be remiss if we didnt touch on the hot topics of speaking Klingon, Starbuck, and her contribution to Game of Thrones.

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LOGO and Joss Whedon are teaming up to run a marathon of Whedon’s top 10 Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes tomorrow, Saturday May 19th, beginning at 10 AM.

In celebration of the marathon, LOGO has posted 5 episodes on their website that highlight, “studs”. That’s right ladies and gents, we’re not just fixating on sexy cosplay girls this week, we’re helping everybody get their oogle goodies.

As for the episodes on Whedon‘s list, well, they contain few surprises, with The Body, Once More with Feeling, and Hush perpetually included on any list focused on the best of what used to be Whedon’s most well known work. The full list is below, and though I scratch my head a little at Restless and wonder how on earth the somewhat controversial, but brilliant for its ambition, Normal Again failed to make the list, that is the fun of these things — there is no 100% correct list.

Whedon’s Top 10 episodes of Buffy:

Prophecy Girl, Innocence, Becoming Part II, The Wish, Doppelgangland, Hush, Restless, The Body, Once More With Feeling, Conversations with Dead People

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Summer reigns supreme! As the  hot and humid air settles in, people are beginning to find their spot on the sofa and get their channel-surfing finger at the ready.  SyFy, in the nick of time, has released their lineup of shows for the summer season, and its looking to be by far a diverse array of shows. Here is the official announcement from SyFy:

SYFY SUMMER 2012 FEATURES RECORD NUMBER OF PRIMETIME ORIGINAL PROGRAMMING HOURS ALL-NEW SEASONS OF WAREHOUSE 13, ALPHAS,

FACE OFF, DESTINATION TRUTH AND HAUNTED COLLECTOR

PREMIERES OF UNSCRIPTED SERIES SCHOOL SPIRITS, PARANORMAL HIGHWAY AND INSANE OR INSPIRED?

NEW SYFY SATURDAY ORIGINAL MOVIES JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK AND BIGFOOT

NEW YORK – May 15, 2012 – Featuring a record number of primetime original programming hours, Syfy’s hot Summer 2012 will be highlighted by the premiere of the new unscripted series School Spirits (from executive producer Mark Burnett), Insane or Inspired? and Paranormal Highway (working title) starring Jack Osbourne; new seasons of hits Warehouse 13, Face Off, Alphas, Destination Truth and Haunted Collector, along with the eagerly anticipated Saturday Original Movies Jersey Shore Shark Attack and Bigfoot, plus the series finale of the beloved Eureka.

Syfy will also present a Memorial Day weekend movie festival highlighted by the premiere of Super Shark on May 26th, followed by the semi-annual Twilight Zone marathon on July 4th.

Lost Girl will move to Fridays at 10PM beginning Friday, July 20.

MAY

INSANE OR INSPIRED? (NEW ORIGINAL SERIES)

Premieres Friday, May 25 at 10PM

This new series features the most exciting videos from the Internet that celebrate the world of imagination, invention, and extreme experiences. Actors Amber Benson (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Samm Levine (Freaks & Geeks), Brooke Hogan, Ralph Garman, as well as television personality Josh Gates, host of Syfy’s Destination Truth, join comedians Ben Gleib, Owen Benjamin, Jodi Miller, Elliot Chang, Jermaine Fowler, Adam Ray, Christiana Pazistky, KT Tatara and Janet Varney to provide their unique commentary on each of the clips. The result is a fast-paced hour-long countdown of hilarious viral videos. Insane or Inspired? is produced by Comcast Studios with Jay James, Betsy Rott, and Sean Olsen serving as executive producers.

JUNE

HAUNTED COLLECTOR (SEASON 2 PREMIERE)

Premieres Wednesday, June 6 at 9PM

Haunted Collector features eminent paranormal collector John Zaffis, the season 2 premiere has the team heading to Warsaw, Kentucky, where a woman’s home is suffering hauntings, possibly from two steamboats which crashed in a fiery collision, killing more than 60 people in 1868. Next, they travel to Huron, Ohio, in a race against the clock to remove the dangerous energy from an abandoned silo, scheduled to be destroyed in 48 hours. Haunted Collector is produced by Gurney Productions. Executive producers are Scott Gurney and Deirdre Gurney.
SCHOOL SPIRITS (NEW ORIGINAL SERIES)

Premieres Wednesday, June 20 at 10PM
From executive producer Mark Burnett, School Spirits travels to schools and universities all across the country to recount the true ghost stories experienced on these academic campuses. Executive producers: Mark Burnett (Survivor, The Voice) and Seth Jarrett & Julie Insogna Jarrett (Celebrity Ghost Stories).
SATURDAY ORIGINAL MOVIES (ALL-NEW MOVIES)

Jersey Shore Shark Attack – Saturday, June 9 at 9PM – Led by an all-star cast of Tony Sirico (The Sopranos), Paul Sorvino (Goodfellas), Jack Scalia (Dallas), Joey Fatone (‘N Sync), William Atherton (Die Hard) and Vinny Guadagnino (Jersey Shore) the movie unfolds during the July Fourth weekend at the Jersey Shore, where angry sharks are on a rampage, devouring residents, leaving it to the local Guidos to save the day. The movie also stars Jeremy Luke as The Complication, Melissa Molinaro as Nooki, Joey Russo as Donnie, Daniel Booko as Balzac, Audi Resendez as B.J., and Alex Mauriello as J-Moni. Jersey Shore Shark Attack is a production of Hybrid Entertainment. The director is John Shepphird. Jeffrey Schenck, Barry Barnholtz and Peter Sullivan are the producers.

· Piranhaconda – Saturday, June 16 at 9PM -  Stars Michael Madsen (Reservoir Dogs, Kill Bill: I & II) and Rachel Hunter (The Benchwarmers). Piranhaconda is a production of New Horizons, directed by Jim Wynorski.

· Arachnoquake

Saturday, June 23 at 9PM – Starring Tracey Gold (Growing Pains),Bug Hall (The Little Rascals), Ethan Phillips (Star Trek: Voyager) and Edward Furlong (Terminator 2: Judgment Day). The movie is a production of Active Entertainment. Arachnoquake is directed by Griff Furst.

· Bigfoot

Saturday, June 30 at 9PM – Television legends Danny Bonaduce (The Partridge Family) and Barry Williams (The Brady Bunch), Howard Hesseman (Head of the Class), Sherilyn Fenn (Twin Peaks), Andre Royo (The Wire) and Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Alice Cooper (School’s Out) co-star in the movie, which is directed by Oscar and Emmy nominee Bruce Davison (X-Men). Bigfoot is a production of The Asylum.

JULY

DESTINATION TRUTH (SEASON 5 PREMIERE)

Premieres Tuesday, July 10 at 8PM

Season 5 opens with two special back-to-back episodes, as Josh Gates and his team lead viewers on a chase into one of the world’s biggest caves in the jungles of Vietnam to search for Bigfoot. Then, at the overwhelming request of fans, they’ll travel to Romania for a return visit to the haunted Hoia Bachu Forest, the site of their most terrifying investigation to date, and then explore the reportedly haunted Mayan ruins of Tikal in pursuit of a monster known as the Belize Goblin.Destination Truth is executive produced by Brad Kuhlman for Ping Pong Productions (1000 Places to See Before You Die, Celebrity Rehab, FM Nation). Josh Gates and Erin Ryder serve as co-executive producers.
PARANORMAL HIGHWAY (NEW ORIGINAL SERIES)

Premieres Tuesday, July 10 at 10PM

Paranormal Highway puts the pedal to the metal as Jack Osbourne and his friend Dana Workman do their own first-person investigations of the most frightening claims of paranormal activity along America’s remote back roads. Fueled by eyewitness interviews and evidence collected by Jack’s state-of-the-art equipment, he and Dana will travel alone, self-documenting their harrowing face-to-face encounters with the paranormal. Production company: BASE Productions. Executive producers: John Brenkus, Mickey Stern, Ron Ziskin.
EUREKA (SERIES FINALE)

Airs Monday, July 16 at 9PM

After five seasons, Syfy’s long-running original series comes to an end and the remarkable residents of Eureka say their goodbyes.  Eureka stars Colin Ferguson (Sheriff Jack Carter) Salli Richardson-Whitfield (Allison Blake), Joe Morton (Henry Deacon), Erica Cerra (Jo Lupo), Neil Grayston (Douglas Fargo) and Niall Matter (Zane Donovan). Co-creator Jaime Paglia and Bruce Miller are executive producers. The series is produced and distributed by Universal Cable Productions.
WAREHOUSE 13 (SEASON 4 PREMIERE)

Premieres Monday, July 23 at 9PM

Season 4 kicks off with the Warehouse Team still reeling from the shocking events of the climactic season three finale. The Warehouse’s caretaker Artie Nielsen (Saul Rubinek) charges Pete Lattimer (Eddie McClintock), Myka Bering (Joanne Kelly) and Claudia Donovan (Allison Scagliotti) with chasing down reports of supernatural and paranormal activity in search of new objects to cache at the Warehouse, as well as helping him to control the Warehouse itself. Sam Huntington (Being Human) will be among the star-studded array of season 4 guest stars. Warehouse 13 is produced for Syfy by Universal Cable Productions. Jack Kenny (The Book of Daniel) is executive producer and showrunner.
ALPHAS (SEASON 2 PREMIERE)

Premieres Monday, July 23 at 10PM

In Syfy’s action-packed hit drama series, an unlikely team of ordinary people with superhuman physical and mental abilities – known as Alphas – takes on mysterious cases the CIA, FBI and Pentagon are unable to solve and go head-to-head with criminal Alphas. Season 2 picks up eight months after last year’s finale with the stage set for an explosive turn of events at the Binghamton facility

Alphas also stars Malik Yoba, Warren Christie, Azita Ghanizada, Ryan Cartwright and Laura Mennell. Erin Way (Detroit 187, Private Practice) joins the cast this season as “Kat” a mysterious young loner whose Alpha ability allows her to pick up any skill at a glance.  The series is produced by Universal Cable Productions and BermanBraun Television with executive producers Bruce Miller, Gail Berman, Lloyd Braun, Gene Stein and Zak Penn. Penn and co-executive producer Michael Karnow are series creators.

AUGUST

PARANORMAL WITNESS (SEASON 2 PREMIERE)

Premieres Wednesday, August 8 at 10PM

Using a mixture of intimate first-hand testimony, actual home video and gritty realistic drama, the hit series Paranormal Witness returns to transport viewers into a world turned upside-down by extraordinary, terrifying and sometimes life-threatening paranormal events. Paranormal Witness is produced by Raw TV (Locked Up Abroad and Gold Rush Alaska). Executive producers are Dimitri Doganis and Bart Layton.
FACE OFF (SEASON 3 PREMIERE)

Premieres Tuesday, August 21 at 9PM

Syfy’s hit competition reality series returns for season 3 with 12 aspiring special effects make-up artists and their unlimited imaginations, competing to create amazing works of living art. The eleven-episode season will feature some of the most difficult challenges ever attempted and high power special guest judges. It all culminates in one winner and one $100,000 grand prize that will launch a career.  Face Off is a production of Mission Control Media with Dwight D. Smith, Michael Agbabian and Derek Atherton serving as executive producers.

This summer season is looking to be jam-packed with an assortment of new shows, and the introduction of new “reality” competitions,memoirs, and true-experience shows. What do you think of the summer lineup, and what could you do without?

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In a lot of our favorite books, TV shows, movies and other forms of nerdy entertainment there are characters that seem to push all the wrong buttons. They push those buttons that drive us all right up to the edge of violence, also known as “The Bitch Slap Zone.”

Take a look at the list below and let this NerdBastard know what you think about the choices. You’ve probably got a couple fictional characters that aren’t on the list that you feel deserve some slapping. Put those in the comments section below.

Anakin Skywalker –  Episode II Attack of the Clones

I know a lot of people are gonna say that Episode-one-child-Anakin should be on the list, but this NerdBastard can’t help but put the Episode-two-whiney-self important-smug-little-shit up for a resounding series of Bitch slaps. Did anyone like this character besides Padme?  

Doctor Zeus – Planet of the Apes 

That damn dirty ape deserves a gorilla style bitch slap. The refusal to consider evidence that goes contrary to your beliefs just sticks in this human’s craw. That great scene where the ministers do the see, hear, and speak no evil is fantastic. The fact that Zeus already knew all about the findings of Cornelius makes him all the more deserving of some repeated slaps.

Dawn Summers – Buffy the Vampire Slayer 

Her very existence altered the fifteen years of characters’ memories. She never developed a character, had absolutely nothing (positive) to add to the show and was a total waste of time. She shouldn’t have kept existing after season 5. She. Is. Not. Real! Do you hear me, Joss? NOT. FUCKING. REAL!!! *stumbles away weeping*

Bella Swan – All the Twilight Movies 

I kinda feel bad about putting this one on the list, she takes so much shit from everyone, then I remember the six months of lying around pining about Edward and the palm of my hand begins to itch. 

Dolores Umbridge – Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 

Dolores proceeds to totally trash and turn upside down Hogwarts and no one does a damn thing about it! I wanted anyone to just step up and take a shot at her. Somebody, anybody, just bitch slap her and tell her to . . . SIT . . . HER . . . ASS . . . DOWN.

Jar-Jar Binks – Star Wars: Episode One: The Phantom Menace 

Even my 8 year old nephew looked at me one day while watching Episode one and said, “He’s pretty annoying isn’t he?” I’m not gonna deny it, I teared up a little. 

Lori & Carl Grimes – The Walking Dead

Don’t get me wrong here, both are great characters that this NerdBastard loves to see on the screen, but there are times that each of them makes me want to really reach down deep for that neck snapping, body spinning Bitch Slap that they both deserve. Lori for not making up her damn mind. If you’re gonna tell Rick to do something, don’t get mad when he does it. Carl . . . GET BACK IN THE DAMN HOUSE BEFORE I SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF YOU ! ! !

Pete Campbell – Madmen 

Pete Campbell is another one of those characters that one can’t decide to kiss or kill and he is the only non-nerdom character on the list. He’s kind of an underdog at times and then he does something really douchie that makes you want to smack the crap out of him. When Lane Price (The Brittish Office Manager) goes at Pete  in the conference room, who didn’t smirk a little at Pete getting his ass handed to him by the stuffy Brit?

Joffery Baratheon - Game of Thrones

Is there anyone out there that doesn’t want to slap the shit out of this royal little shit? Jack Gleeson has done such a brilliant job bringing this little shit to life on the screen that this NerdBastard is afraid that Gleeson might have to worry about character bleed. Where one can’t help but see the actor in any other role as that one character. Not exactly type casting, but where one character seems to bleed over all the other characters an actor portrays.

Here’s a remixed video from Game of Thrones, the maker have captured the essence of what everyone wants to do to Joffery. (Notice how Joffery says, “Mother” at each slap, delicious.)

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It’s nice to know that despite his ascension to the realm of big time director/producer (The Avengers and The Cabin in the Woods) Joss Whedon hasn’t forgotten the lost projects of yesteryear, and he still seems ready and willing to revisit prime cut ideas from the past.

To wit, Whedon, while out doing a round of press for The Avengers, is talking about the long gestating, possible spin-off to his original hit, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, called “Ripper.” “Ripper” would be a BBC-produced series following the solo adventures of Rupert Giles, Buffy’s mentor the first five seasons of the show who had a seedy past as an occult bad boy, thus earning him the nickname “Ripper.”

Here’s what Whedon had to say about “Ripper“:

“No, the thing about Ripper—the essence of it—is that the BBC came to me at one point like, ‘It doesn’t have to be Ripper. It can just be [Anthony Stewart Head], and there’s magic, and he’s Tony, cuz he’s awesome.’ And that’s the thing: For some reason, he keeps getting sexier every year. That’s not happening to me! I’m like, ‘What are you doing?’ And that story was always about a mature guy who’s lived, and about the choices he’s made. So you could make that now, or you could make it 10 years from now. And I’ve tortured Tony more than any other living human with, ‘We’re definitely gonna do this!’ Because I thought we were. He’s working so much, though, I’d feel too guilty. But that’s the thing with Ripper: It doesn’t go away in my head because he’s still right for it, and he could still bring it.”

There’s no doubt that Head can still “bring it,” as Whedon says, but the real question is if the filmmaker himself can just find the time to “bring it.” Right now, Whedon’s got his adaptation of Much Ado About Nothing, a sci-fi comedy in the works, his Buffy comic series, a Dr. Horrible sequel and the inevitable follow-up to The Avengers on his plate. At this rate, “Ripper” is going to look like The Dark Knight Returns by the time it gets made.

Source: Blastr

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