Give me a P. Give me an A. Give me an X. What does that spell? PAX…you dyslexic sucka duck! YES, the much-anticipated, annual, nerdfest PAX East (a la Penny Arcade) in Boston came, went and totally took advantage of the prime real estate that is my body. I need a breath mint, deodorant and massage from a small Vietnamese woman with mighty – yet gentle- hands (and is up for expected happy ending). For those of you scratching your heads wondering what the hell is PAX East?! First, I’d like to slap you upside the head for being an ignorant douche-canoe. This is our culture. How do you not know about this?!?! OK, here’s a quick run-through: PAX East, is  like a smaller E3, but intended for consumers rather than developers. See, they get a bunch of video game hot shots to show off their hardware, software and um…in some cases hot chicks in tall boots

These boots were made for walkin' and that's just what they'll do, these boots are gonna walk all over you"

"These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do, one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you."

Then, they invite the public to hang out and fall in love with all kinds of the latest, greatest gear and games on (or about to enter) the video game scene. Attendees can play games, attend panel sessions about all kinds of cool stuff, see live music and even compete in video game tournaments! Exciting, right? YES! Especially if you like shiny bags of SWAG, the occasional hot chick in costume, new technology, and inspiring speeches.

So now you have a pretty solid idea of what goes on in general. What might not be entirely clear to you is the feeling of “home”. *cue the violin for sappy time* Let’s face it, we as gamers are strange and weird. We typically don’t mesh well with the world outside our own. The acceptance in ordinary society is growing quite rapidly, but how many people in your life truly appreciate and understand your pleasure, your obsession, your escape? While we’re predominantly having too much fun to care, wouldn’t it be nice to be embraced by a collective mutuality? After all, you know gamer friends are the perfect circle of people you always want to hang out with. Why not a sea of thousands, all singing to the tune of “Let’s Play”? Simply put, PAX is your haven. Your heaven. Your home.

Now, onto swamp ass, girls and games.


San Diego Comic Con Tickets Open on Sat Feb 5th

San Diego Comic-Con, you fool me not once, not twice, but 3 fucking times?! Quit being a cock tease and just drop your laundry all ready, jeez!

Yes, registration for San Diego Comic Con 2011 has had it’s share of issues. The reason for the craziness this year is because Comic-Con made such a big deal that Four Day Badges With Preview Night were sold out a full year in advance. Attendees of 2010 Comic-Con scooped all of those up and Comic-Con publicized it as a way of saying “hey check out how big my dick is”. What that did, though, was it made everyone who hadn’t purchased a badge nervous. Now they couldn’t get into preview night, which is the best time to get exclusives and they felt, if they didn’t buy their badge the SECOND it went on sale, they’d be shut out. That’s what happened on November 1 and again on November 22. Everybody logged onto buy a badge and crashed their system. The third time was a very short test which sold through a thousand tickets in seconds.

They say they can handle the traffic now.

So let’s try this again. The ultimate nerd convention is once again going to attempt to sell badges to their 2011 event, taking place July 21-24, at 6 a.m. Pacific Standard Time. Attendee Registration will open online here on Saturday, February 5th at 9 am PT, Noon ET, 5pm GMT.

Fourth time lucky…

Mark Millar Announces Kapow! A UK Comic-Con

What is the difference between an Englishman and his photograph? The photograph is fully developed! Ha, I love that joke!

Why da fuck would I tell that joke? Well, much about this joke can be compared to nerds in America vs. nerds in the UK. Fans in the states, I think are a wee bit more cultured and earnest. Seriously, Brits have Doctor Who and Harry Potter, that’s about it. *fires gun into air, high-fives bald eagle* Haha, OK, I’m just being mean for the sake of humor. UK fan-boys are just as nerdy as us Yankee’s. I’m serious. Heck the UK was host to the largest fan light saber battle in history, you don’t get much nerdery than that.

Now, what da fuck am I getting at? Besides wanting to take a crack at those limey bastards, I also feel bad for them. Their just as devoted as the rest of us, yet they are not as privileged as us Americans. We get all the cool shit, namely awesome Conventions and Expo’s. Minus the occasional Doctor Who tea party, they don’t have the gatherings we do (Excluding the Light Saber battle, of course. That was a one time thing). It kinda sucks for them.

Well, that’s all about to change.

Legendary comic-book writer Mark Millar (Kick-Ass, Nemesis) is launching a comic book convention in the UK called Kapow! Comic Con, happening April 9 and 10, 2011 at the London Business Design Centre (a month after C2E2 in Chicago, a week after WonderCon in San Francisco, and more than three months before Comic-Con International in San Diego). Kapow! is ideally scheduled to take advantage of 2011 and 2012’s motion picture lineups, which are heavy with comic book and genre movies including Thor, The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises, Dredd, a Star Trek sequel and a Spider-Man reboot.

In a video message announcing the endeavor, Millar explains that it makes sense to host a Britain-based companion to the San Diego show given the nation’s population of venerable comics creators, not to mention the local presence of America’s major film studios.

Kapow! Comic Con Trailer from kapowcomiccon on Vimeo.

Tickets to Kapow! can be purchased now through the convention website

Guests include Andy Diggle, Jock, Steve Dillon, Duncan Fegredo, David Hine, Simon Furman, John McCrea and Kieron Gillen, plus Frank Quitely, Lenil Francis Yu , Dave Gibbons and of course Mark Millar himself.

source: comicalliance by nerdbastards fan and #1 commenter Mark Poynter, a.k.a Mordrun)

This is the time of year to be reflective and look at the things in our lives that bring us joy and happiness. (Que birds chirping, light that double rainbow!) For many of us it’s a tough time with the economy struggling and families fighting to stay afloat. (Que Empire theme music . . . Dum, dum, dum, dum, da dum, dum, da dum.) It’s easy to forget the good things. The simple things that make us smile each morning and dream each night, but that’s for regular people.

We’re Nerd Bastards!

We’re not worried about the everyday things, we’ve got those covered. We have Rumbas to clean our floors, web cameras to watch our homes, Ipads – Ipods – Iphones – Ipoops – and any  other techno babble item you can stick an “I” in front of to help us through our day.

So what should Nerd Bastards be thankful for?

I’m so glad you asked:


NOTE: Immediately after we wrote this post we caught word, that “Due to traffic, the San Diego Comic-Con website has suspended badge sales. They posted a message on the official site saying to check back on November 8.”

ahoy bastards! You know what today is? It’s anal sex night at the nerdbastards household. Ha, just kidding (Well I’m sure somebody from the bastard crew is getting some butt sex tonight). Actually its the first day to nab yourself passes for San Diego Comic-Con 2011, taking place July 21-24, 2011. Four days of comic books, movies, video games, television, toys, and exclusives.

4 day memberships went on sale this morning at 9 a.m. PST and as or right now passes are still available, but will most likely sell out by days end. The 4 day preview night passes already sold out at Comic-Con this year, so there will be no preview night for people who purchase their tickets today.

Comic-Con 2011 is going to be an epic year. We might get to see some stuff from The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises and a whole lot more! Thor and Green Lantern films will already have been released by the time Comic-Con starts, but will most likely have some interesting panels regardless. Though, keep in mind Captain America comes out the weekend of Comic-Con, so were bound to get a spectacle out of it, some way.  Disney/Marvel and Warner Bros./DC will have a lot to share this year. It’s gonna be great.

See you in July! Click here to purchase your passes.