Duke Nukem Forever

Every week the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut.

Every Monday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at nerdybits@nerdbastards.com.

This week’s edition: Ghostbusters imagined in Pixar, first teaser poster for Brave, Soviet war memorial vandalized with super heroes, Hoth Tauntauns, Damian misses DickBatman, Han’s hangover, puppy plays Bowser, $10,000 Space Invaders watch, Star Wars lawn fertilizer, sexy N64 controller tattoo, epic Lego recreation of Sauron’s tower, Lens Flare: The Movie, the Bat has landed, Tardis observatory, Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’ in 8-bit, Harley Quinn’s new costume on a man, Super Mario Bros. car, E.T. vs Predator, Darth Vader riding a pony cake, sappy nerd proposal, Contra’s henchmen’s strategy, Vulcan oven mitt, original 150 Pokemon according to my boyfriend, Lord of the Rigs, Yoda pasties, women react to Duke Nukem Forever, Dalek dress, Doctor Who flesh bits, ducks the original Transformers, all inclusive bathroom signs, 10 biggest flops illustrated, Weird Al’s ‘Perform this Way.’

 

See the whole Ghostbusters crew imagined as the stars of the next Pixar feature. Can this collaboration really happen? An animated feature would fare better than the long rumored Ghostbusters 3. For more check out artist, Fabrizio Fioretti. (GeekTyrant)

 

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Welcome gaming bastards to another edition of G.R.O.W.

This is NerdBastards weekly game release of the week list, where we give y’all a heads up on what has come out for the consoles and PC/Mac. We also cover downloadable titles as well.

Geez, I remember when these summer months were the video game drought period but that’s not the case this week. This week we see a 3D re-release of a classic Nintendo 64 title and a game that has been in the making for 14 damn years. We also have two sequels in which one of them is a spiritual successor of cult Dreamcast game.

Click on the Read More Button to check out some of these titles and see which one of these games will be taking up most of your time until next weeks batch of video games.

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‘Duke Nukem Forever’ Goes Gold

A fable of the late 90’s, a joke in it’s industry and now everyone has to kiss his alien-kicking ass; Duke Nukem Forever has gone gold. After 14 years of ‘development hell’ the adventures of the worlds greatest hero is back for another round. In plain English for those that don’t know, “going gold” means that a game is 100% complete, the final version of a game is in production. Everything has finally culminated into it’s June 10th release and as a fan of the franchise I couldn’t be happier for this long awaited game.

When your history of development becomes it’s own seperate wikipedia page it’s not something to be proud of, it’s like farting in church. When 3D Realms started making their empty promises of  “We’re working on it” fans could only sit there and smell the bullshit. Years of telling folks “It’ll get done when it get’s done” finally took it’s toll on the game. In between the endless jokes and scrutiny, the game crashed and burned. Thankfully a new company, Gearbox studios, took control of Duke and nursed him back to health. After only another short delay the game is finally complete and waiting to be placed into the hands of your inner child. They only way to top this would be to actually have Jesus himself endorse this game and make it a patron saint on the spot. After all the abuse this franchise has gone through it deserves it more then anyone else could.

Glad to see the red and yellow back June 10th, 2011 when Duke Nukem Forever hits shelves for the PS3, X-Box 360 and PC. For real this time, honest.

Via: Geekosystem

Excuse me while I laugh my balls off. Why am I laughing? Oh I dunno….maybe ’cause the release of ‘Duke Nukem Forever‘ has been postponed. Yep, DELAYED AGAIN! Rats!

Gamers shat 8-Bit bricks when back in January it was announced that, after 13 years, Duke Nukem Forever was FINALLY going to be released on May 3, 2011. But we should have known it was too good to be true. Because Randy Pitchford, president of Gearbox Software, with a respectable level of embarrassment and shame, just announced  the game’s release would be delayed AGAIN.

For reasons unknown the launch date has been pushed back to June 14 (and June 10 internationally).Fooey!

Check out Pitchford’s “very special message” about Duke Nukem Forever below.

OK, that was a pretty funny way to handle the delay actually. My only hope is that the delay is cause for a revamp of the aiming and over all control system. Earlier this month I got my hands on a DEMO at PAX EAST. While that game certainly delivers all the raunch, classic Duke speak, babes, mutants and ridiculous action, it’s playability is a bitch. The aiming controls were damn near impossible, almost making the game unplayable. Regardless, I’m still looking forward to this game, if nothing else than because of my fond memories of the late 90s.

thumb_201103PAX-East-2011-Ready

Give me a P. Give me an A. Give me an X. What does that spell? PAX…you dyslexic sucka duck! YES, the much-anticipated, annual, nerdfest PAX East (a la Penny Arcade) in Boston came, went and totally took advantage of the prime real estate that is my body. I need a breath mint, deodorant and massage from a small Vietnamese woman with mighty – yet gentle- hands (and is up for expected happy ending). For those of you scratching your heads wondering what the hell is PAX East?! First, I’d like to slap you upside the head for being an ignorant douche-canoe. This is our culture. How do you not know about this?!?! OK, here’s a quick run-through: PAX East, is  like a smaller E3, but intended for consumers rather than developers. See, they get a bunch of video game hot shots to show off their hardware, software and um…in some cases hot chicks in tall boots

These boots were made for walkin' and that's just what they'll do, these boots are gonna walk all over you"

"These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do, one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you."

Then, they invite the public to hang out and fall in love with all kinds of the latest, greatest gear and games on (or about to enter) the video game scene. Attendees can play games, attend panel sessions about all kinds of cool stuff, see live music and even compete in video game tournaments! Exciting, right? YES! Especially if you like shiny bags of SWAG, the occasional hot chick in costume, new technology, and inspiring speeches.

So now you have a pretty solid idea of what goes on in general. What might not be entirely clear to you is the feeling of “home”. *cue the violin for sappy time* Let’s face it, we as gamers are strange and weird. We typically don’t mesh well with the world outside our own. The acceptance in ordinary society is growing quite rapidly, but how many people in your life truly appreciate and understand your pleasure, your obsession, your escape? While we’re predominantly having too much fun to care, wouldn’t it be nice to be embraced by a collective mutuality? After all, you know gamer friends are the perfect circle of people you always want to hang out with. Why not a sea of thousands, all singing to the tune of “Let’s Play”? Simply put, PAX is your haven. Your heaven. Your home.

Now, onto swamp ass, girls and games.

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Nerd Bastardcast Ep 37 – Mad Week in News

Episode 37 – No J. Jonah Jameson, George Lucas Thinks the worlds gonna end, Double Sun Power, Duke Nukem Forever, Red State for $20, Angry Birds Cartoon and more.

Raw, Dirty, Gritty and Nerdy. We are the Inglorious Nerd Bastards.

Music for this podcast is brought to you by:

Innes Wilson and his Opposition (get free tracks here)

Help the nerd bastards by leaving a review of the podcast up on iTunes.

follow the crew on twitter:

Luke Gallagher – @nerdbastards | Blake Stevenson – @blakestevenson

Christine Foley – @xtinebloodlust

hail-to-the-king-baby-duke-nukem-forever-wallpaper

This ain’t no lie folks as finally, and I mean finally, Duke Nukem Forever will be on store shelves on May 3rd, 2011. After 14 long freakin’ years in developmental hell, game engine changes, publisher troubles, and god knows what else, we’ll be able to play as the bad ass once again in an all new game.

I don’t know about you but Duke Nukem 3D was my first FPS and I instantly got hooked to the gameplay and the awesome one liners from the man himself. Everything I’ve seen for Forever has got me excited like a little high school girl that is ready to blow Duke.

Are any of you guys excited to once again take control of Duke and beat down some three breasted monsters or you think Duke Nukem has lost his glory a long time ago and that the game will suck?

*Update: Posted below is a kick ass trailer for the game that get’s me more excited for the game.

Via Destructoid

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As we all know, Duke Nukem Forever is finally, and I mean FINALLY coming out next year (even though it doesn’t have a set release date) and it seems that some fans of Duke wanted us to get pumped and ready for the 13+ year developed game.

The Duke: Fate of Humanity is a short live action clip that was made to pay homage to Gearbox for making Forever possible and playable for all. It’s done well and I think it does it’s job well as a teaser to get us wanting Duke.

If you got a few minutes to spare then I highly recommend you check this clip out and see if you start asking yourself if a live action Duke Nukem flick would be awesome… as long as it’s not directed by Uwe Boll.

Source: Destructoid

https://i2.wp.com/3.bp.blogspot.com/_T5-8wcbMqQ8/TNK46cNJ0kI/AAAAAAAAAzI/4PgaUKeaCEU/s1600/thankful_2.jpg?resize=343%2C257(Post by nerdbastards fan and #1 commenter Mark Poynter, a.k.a Mordrun)

This is the time of year to be reflective and look at the things in our lives that bring us joy and happiness. (Que birds chirping, light that double rainbow!) For many of us it’s a tough time with the economy struggling and families fighting to stay afloat. (Que Empire theme music . . . Dum, dum, dum, dum, da dum, dum, da dum.) It’s easy to forget the good things. The simple things that make us smile each morning and dream each night, but that’s for regular people.

We’re Nerd Bastards!


We’re not worried about the everyday things, we’ve got those covered. We have Rumbas to clean our floors, web cameras to watch our homes, Ipads – Ipods – Iphones – Ipoops – and any  other techno babble item you can stick an “I” in front of to help us through our day.


So what should Nerd Bastards be thankful for?

I’m so glad you asked:

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Duke Nukem Demo

Duke-Nukem-Forever-1536

Duke Nukem Forever is FINALLY on its way to coming to video game consoles near you!

The long-awaited sequel to 1996’s Duke Nukem 3D, developed by Gearbox Studios (the one that brought you the amazing videogame Borderlands) is finally on track to be released early next year.

Duke Nukem Forever has been infamous for its insanely long development period, and was even feared to disappear when its old production studio 3D realms, was downsized and sued for not finishing it on time. All they would say was that the game would be released “when its done,” But, once it was settled out of court, the game is almost done after 14 years.

Gearbox‘s Randy Pitchfordis is taking the demo of the game on a world tour, and his first stop was Amsterdam. And luckily for us, some people filmed the demo, and we can show it to you.

Be warned – this video contains images of Duke peeing, crudely drawn penises on whiteboards, and Duke getting pleasured orally by two buxom ladies. In short – it’s everything you expect from a Duke Nukem game.

Check out the video below!