E3 Live Blog: Sony and the Playstation 4

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Earlier, you surely read our liveblog coverage of the Microsoft Xbox One presentation that came to you LIVE from a living room in New Jersey with a TV that was watching a live feed from Los Angeles, and now we’re here to talk about the Sony Playstation 4.

Before we get into it, though, let’s recap what we know and what we want.

What we already know: Sony is bringing it in terms of techno specs and the controller seems like a possible step forward. Apart from that, though, we really don’t know much despite a 2 hour press conference back in February.

What we want to see: Microsoft did Sony no favors by giving us a release window, price point, and plenty of visual fireworks. We’re goona need Sony to meet and exceed that output if they want to win the day, but we’re also hoping to see the system itself, some exclusive game announcements, and some kind of wow innovation that sets the Sony apart.

What we don’t want to see: 

Alright, the live blog starts up when the presentation does at 9pm ET, and for this one, you can actually watch the Playstation 4 livestream here and follow the blog below it.

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9:17 – It has FINALLY begun… with a light and music number that feels like

9:21 – Apparently people have been waiting to see the presentation since Friday, but I don’t care, I am still bitchy about them running 20 minutes late.

9:23 – Batman Arkham Origins, Destiny of Spirits, Killzone: Mercenary have just been announced for the Vita, which is apparently still a thing. Also, Walking Dead: 400 Days is coming to the Vita from Telltale.

9:26 – Like Microsoft, Sony is working hard to demonstrate that they aren’t killing their old system (PS3)… yet. Right now, they’re showing us, basically, a commercial for The Last of Us, which you were already going to buy when it comes out on Friday.

9:29 – Rain looks artistic and sad. Now we’ve got Beyond: Two Souls, which seems a bit more combat-y then we previously thought. I mean, this looks like a completely different game than what we saw last year during E3.

9:31 – K, maybe that’s enough PS3 stuff. We came to see what the new piece of pretty can do and at this point, we’re 35 minutes past the moment this thing was supposed to start. I have fear in me, Sony did take almost 150 minutes to tell us very little back in February, hopefully this isn’t a repeat.

9:35 – The Arkham Origins cinematics look, just great. I can’t believe we’re still hearing about the PS3 and costume skins and now a GTA 5 headset and not the PS4.

9:40 – Finally getting a look at the PS4 hardware. Seems a little smaller and more stylish than the Xbox One. It looks good. How much?

9:41 – Sony Entertainment CEO takes to the stage. Are we in for a barrage of info about how the PS4 will be an entertainment hub? Are we going to get flogged with the Crackle stick?

9:44 – Sony announces a PSN exclusive programming network with shows that I don’t care about. They’re also going to have Sonyfied music and movie services. So, basically, Amazon Stream competitors. Redbox Instant will also be available to all the Sony gaming consoles shortly, and whatever happened to the “We are for gamers” chest thumping

9:50 – And here is a picture of what the PS4 will look like.

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9:52 – The Order 1886 from Ready at Dawn looks good. The trailer was made in-engine.

9:57 – Kill Zone, Drive Club, Infamous clips being shown now. I can’t help but think that the decision by Spike to not air the Sony presentation life is going to hurt wide-perception of this reveal. Viewing these trailers on an HD TV screen vs. a choppy net signal on a laptop? There is no comparison. I don’t know how the schedule is set, but if Sony could have moved their presentation to a time when they would have been widely seen on TV and did not, that is a massive fuck-up, because there is no visual wow coming off these clips, and Microsoft had that earlier.

10:03 – Dark Sorcerer trailer was interesting and then weird and then, ultimately, a waste of time and a teaser to watch more content tomorrow.

10:07 – Transistor looks interesting. I am killing this live-blog thing.

10:09 – Sony’s focus on OctoDad: Dadliest Catch, Super Poncho, Oddworld Inhabitants: New and Tasty, and Galaxy and the promise of self-publishing raises their indie cred and feels more for real than Microsoft’s tribute to indie developers. All of these games look incredibly addictive and fun. Can’t wait to see more from them.

10:17 – Final Fantasy XV looks really good, beautiful even. Plus there is a big assed dragon. Nice surprise by Sony and Square Enix to trap a guy in a room full of mirrors (or a hotel bathroom) and have him sneak in a teaser trailer for a new Kingdom Hearts game, Kingdom Hearts 3, which is in development.

10:24 – Assassins Creed game from Ubi Soft looks promising. Good gameplay (I imagine… again, shitty stream is robbing me of seeing the true beauty). I have a gripe about the pirate ship, though: no way would a ship steer that easily. Now it’s time for Watch Dogs and a man with an exceptional accent who will say the word T-Bone in a really awesome way.

10:31 – More detail and more gameplay from Watch Dogs, which was one of last year’s big gasp inducers. T-Bone looks like Brad Pitt in Kalifornia. Both the full blackout mode and the speedboat are nice touches.

10:36 – Another “in-engine” trailer for the NBA 2K basketball entry, but what does that matter if I’m not seeing gameplay?

10:37 – Elder Scrolls online coming in 2014, PS gets an exclusive beta window.

10:39 – Warner Bros. and Avalanche team up to make a Mad Max game. Psyched by the idea of this, but is it a tie-in to the remake, is it a stand alone?

10:41 – Awwwwww snap, Sony came to scuffle. Announces no fees on used games, takes a hard swipe at Xbox One, who remained silent on the controversy. Now they’re saying that you don’t need to be online to play or for authentication. Biggest crowd reaction of the presentation, though, don’t you think it’s a bad thing when you get your best response to the two things you’ll do that your competitor won’t and not your content?

10:49 – Destiny looks quite good. FPS from Bungie and Activision. It’s in competition with Titanfall for most impressive debut at E3, though last years slate was better.

10:57 - I really like how Sony chose to make the interplay between their players less rapey than the Xbox banter. Bold move.

10:59 – Long term partnership with Bungie and Activision announced, sadly it will expire before the end of this presentation, which is now at an hour 40. Are we almost done? I don’t think so, a little man in a silver suit just said ecosystem and “cloud service”, so strap in!

11:03 – Ring the bell. PS4 to debut at $399.99, $100 less than the Xbox One. I’d say that the Xbox One looked slightly better, but that advantage is frittered away by the massive price difference and Microsoft’s failure to address the used game and internet controversy. Food for thought for Microsoft as Sony seems poised to take the Gold Cup.

With that said, though, I don’t feel an immense need to buy a new system still. Do you?

Let us know if you want, but we are all done with our live blog for the PS4. Stay tuned for our thoughts on the revelations coming out of E3.

E3 Liveblog and Discussion: Microsoft and the Xbox One

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Welcome to the start of our E3 coverage and our Microsoft Xbox One Live Blog. Below you will find thoughts from the Nerdbastards team on Microsoft’s next generation console when the 1pm ET presentation begins out in LA.

Before that, take a look what we want to see from the presentation and have a conversation with us in the comment section about what you want to see.

What we already know: The Xbox One is poised to take aim at the home entertainment market, providing a broad experience that includes web browsing, live TV, social integration, a pumped up Kinect, and (allegedly) gaming.

What we want to see: A price point would be lovely, but details and gameplay are what we really want to see. The time for ambiguity and a parade of cinematic trailers has passed. Microsoft has our attention, but now they need to get our money with a presentation that speaks directly to consumers, offering clarity on some of the more controversial elements of the One while also showing us what the next generation of gaming really looks like.

How is the Xbox One not only better than the PS4 (and the Wii U… I guess) but also a clear upgrade over what we have? This is the biggest question facing Microsoft as they kick off E3.

The live blog will begin at 1pm. Watch the Microsoft presentation on Spike or online at E3 Insider. If we are able to embed the livestream, we will do so. 

12:07 – We’re still less than an hour away from the start of the presentation, but Phil Spencer is on Spike talking to Geoff Keighley and he just teased something from Rare’s past that will be revealed. Something long awaited. Naturally, the mind turns to Goldeneye 64 and a possible  XBL release.

12:21 -

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12:22 – Not really a huge surprise considering the commercial holiday/start of the holiday shopping season that is “Black Friday”. Now if someone would just blurt out the price…

12:42 – Metal Gear Solid: The Phantom Pain looks pretty damn good, gameplay was impressive. Is it next level? Pretty damn close.

12:43 – Don Mattrick takes to the stage, promises that this will be all about gaming and that there will be 13 exclusive titles revealed today.

12:44 – Interesting move here, introducing an Xbox 360 redesign that is available now. “Our commitment to the Xbox 360 has never been stronger. Again, a surprise since they’re introducing its replacement. Perhaps they realize the staying power of this generation. They also just promised 2 free game downloads to Xbox Gold members in the near future.

12:45 – 120 new games for Xbox 360 coming down the pike.

12:52 – Phil Spencer comes to the stage to talk about the Xbox One. Primetime has arrived as the trailer for RYSE begins.

12:56 – RYSE looks damn good, though not entirely fluid. Not a fan of guided attacks. Whatever happened to some button mashing X, Y, X, X, Y, Y, X, Y action people?

1:02 – Speaking of button mashing, Killer Instinct trailer plays… yawn.

1:04 – Sunset Overdrive looks like a love letter to critics of video game violence. Just ridiculous, cartoon mayhem and headshots. It looks like something that would exist if the guys from Crank made a Pixar movie.

1:08 – “Driveatar”… what a stupid fucking name that, of course, follows boasts about the end of AI from the Forza 5, which does, admittedly look freaking stellar.

1:11 – Corporate rep from Microsoft is singing a song about indie games. Oh, the word “indie”, show us on the doll where the world touched you.

1:14 – Quantum Break game footage… right after this impressive cinematic… maybe.

1:17 – D4 is a episodic murder mystery, anime noir?

1:20 – Project: Spark looks like “God: The Game” and employs Kinect and Smart Glass. You can turn a rock into a pet… and water into wine. Shitty jokes aside, this is “custom, as you go” gaming. Which is incredible.

1:23 – Project: Spark is the kind of thing I wanted to see. A clear step forward and an unexpected innovation. With that said, there will be limits and those limits will control it’s magnificence. Is this going to be an endlessly replayable and re-configurable time-waster, or will it play like a parlor trick with a limited set of options that we quickly grow tired of? Sadly, we’ll have to wait and see.

1:28 – Does anyone really care about watching other people’s gameplay videos?

1:31 – Dead Rising 3 world premiere. New town, new hero, new disappointment that we’re not getting more Frank.

1:33 – No load times and an open world. Happy to see the build-a-weapon option, though I hope they make it a bit more random. There is also a ton of driving apparently, which is awesome and once again prompts the question, “Dear Rockstar, when the fuck are you going to give us some GTA/zombie bonus content?”

The game looks good from the gameplay, but the main character’s movements are still blocky like a video game character. There is no fluidity, which takes you out of the experience when watching his run and jump and attack with the same basic set of movements.

Using Smart Glass to call in support feels like cheating.

1:41 – The Witcher 3 looks like a pretty solid RPG, but I need to see more.

1:42 – Battlefield gameplay trailer at 60 FPS. I gotta give it up to Microsoft, they are certainly bringing it in terms of showing us gameplay.

1:43 – Assuming they can actually get the clip to play.

1:46 – Battlefield 4 environments look beautiful, specifically the water effects. FPS gameplay looks tight, but as with all FPS, you have to have it in your hand to know if it is for you.

1:49 – Map pack to debut on Xbox One first for Battlefield 4. Is that all EA is showing? Really expected to see some sports titles, but perhaps they blew their wad during the Reveal Press Conference.

1:53 – I can’t be the only one whose eyes got WIDE as the hood fell back and Master Chief was revealed, right?

1:55 – Halo FPS on Xbox One in 2014.

1:59 – Titalfall looks rather good, I swear I thought it was an Elysium tie-in game when the trailer started.

1:57 – Pricepoint announcement: Xbox One will cost $499.99. Probably not unanticipated, but will you pay it? Based on what I’m seeing here, I am intrigued, I am FAR more excited about this system then I was after the Reveal, but there are still too many questions and too many other possible expenses for me to say, “Yes, certainly.”

Maybe that will change, but for now, I am still wait and see on the Xbox One, but a lot closer to where they need me and other consumers to be.

2:05 – That’s the end of the presentation, be sure to check out our PS4 Liveblog later tonight.

Salute to Sexy Male Cosplay: A Naughty Policeman, Cocky Demon Hunters, Vampires & MOAR!

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We celebrate some of the finest lady cosplayers the net has to offer in our weekly Sexy Cosplay of the Week feature. We love Sexy Cosplay of the Week – it is an institution here at NerdBastards – but the staff thought it was about time that we did something to celebrate some of the sexiest male cosplays we could find.

So, with that in mind, we bring you this Salute to Sexy Male Cosplay, because damn it, you deserve a good dose of eye candy and these guys deserve a little bit of recognition for their awesome costumes, attention to detail, and abs that make all the guys here at NerdBastards feel extremely inadequate.

So enjoy the Nerd Bastards’ Salute to Sexy Male Cosplay!

Hit the jump for all the muscles and fabric you can enjoy and send your own to nerdbastardcosplay@gmail.com so we can keep doing this.
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Editorial: Xbox One Adds to Next Gen Disappointment (Updated)

 

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Maybe this will all change once we get a better look, but right now, you can just smell the disappointment, can’t you? As a semi-spoiled half-futurist, I think it’s safe to say that I expected more from the last big reveal of this new console generation. That’s Microsoft’s curse. They get to close the stitch on the wound of dashed hope that was borne by an unreal set of expectations for a generation that feels like a placeholder.

No real 3-D, no holo-gaming, no photorealism, and I can’t control Master Chief with the power of my mind? Fucking bullshit.

To make matters worse, we don’t even know the depths of their possible failure because they mostly refrained from showing us real and sustained gameplay; something that has become the norm in an industry that fetishizes worthless cinematics whenever they try to rap at their audience about a new property or a re-dressed old property.

Speaking of re-dressed old properties, Microsoft probably should have embraced a Kinect re-brand in light of the tepid response that the original received.

Despite what the industry tells us, motion gaming still feels nascent with a full potential achievement that remains unlocked — the fucking wand, the twitchy camera bar, the irrelevant Wii U that bleeds relevancy from a shallow well more and more everyday — reset and rebuild, but don’t deliver unto me a corpse with sprinkles on it.

The boys in the lab over at Bill Gates’ jolly green giant project are putting a lot of burden on the back of the Kinect, further committing to the wonder of voice control, recognition, and the Kinect’s ability to now (allegedly) recognize real, human body movement as well as eye movement and the beat of our hearts and fuck that is a little creepy.

“I’ve detected weakness Dave, initiating extermination function zero. Good bye Dave.”

It’s not all bad though, the Snap function — that allows users to watch live TV (through their cable system) and split screen web search — is kinda cool, but it only pulls even with PC and Tablet capability. Again, dashed expectations pepper this reveal because we won’t see an outlet for high volume ambition in gaming like this for half a decade — at minimum — and by then, Apple will have us live streaming Downton Abbey from an antenna in our assholes.

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It’s funny, to Microsoft, this is a victory. They’re calling this thing the ONE most likely because they plan on selling it to you as the ONE device that you will need and that is the holy grail: ONE device to make all others obsolete, but this isn’t that. This is just another ONE, and I already have enough other ones that do 90% of what this one does. Prettier ones that don’t look like an Atari 2600 briefcase with a massive footprint.

You’ll need to hang on to that old 360 if you want to play your old games, by the way. The Xbox One doesn’t do backwards compatibility, but on the bright side, Microsoft did recognize that people didn’t want to be online all the time, especially if they just wanted to embrace the “single player, close out the outside world” experience that is a under-celebrated but hugely important part of gaming. So the system won’t need to be online all the time, though obviously, a great part of the One’s bells and whistles comes from full connectivity and an Xbox Live membership so that we can have that “relationship” with our TV that the introductory add teased. By the way, I’m pretty sure that you also need to love sports to enjoy your Xbox One, because FUCK did they hammer the head off that nail.

As for gameplay, I have to assume that it will also be a large part of this new system, but as I said before, we didn’t get anything approaching a significant look at that in this presentation… the one that mostly felt like a needless E3 appetizer.

Sure, we know that there will be a new Forza game and that Modern Warfare: Ghost has a mo-cap dog and fancy sounding volumetric lighting, but as a gamer, there was little here for me and right now, that just about sums up this next generation as a whole.

Incremental innovation, empty hype and a lot of redundancy — right now, this future looks bent. Wake me when the PS5 gets announced.

UPDATE: Now reports are surfacing that the Xbox One will indeed need to be connected to the net once daily and — though there is a bit of confusion on this — it seems like there will be some kind of fee associated with playing used games. Fees that could range from $40-$60.

UPDATE 2: Regarding the used game fee, Major Nelson has responded, saying:

We know there is some confusion around used games on Xbox One and wanted to provide a bit of clarification on exactly what we’ve confirmed today. While there have been many potential scenarios discussed, today we have only confirmed that we designed Xbox One to enable our customers to trade in and resell games at retail.

Beyond that, we have not confirmed any specific scenarios.

Another piece of clarification around playing games at a friend’s house – should you choose to play your game at your friend’s house, there is no fee to play that game while you are signed in to your profile.

 

The Ten Nerdiest Big (and small) Screen Musicals

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When you really think about it, musicals are actually quite a nerdy genre:

Not only do they have their die-hard adherents, as anything qualifying as “nerdy” must, but even the most mundane musicals have an element of the fantastical to them.  Think about it: Musicals are populated by people who think it’s perfectly normal to break into song for literally any reason, people for whom an intricately choreographed dance number is an everyday occurrence….

Does anyone ever stop to think about just how WEIRD that is? (well, Joss Whedon did, but I’m getting ahead of myself)

Some musicals, of course, take this a step further, and draw from the various franchises and genres that we, as nerds, know and love for their inspiration. Others are just totally batshit insane, thus making them quite appropriate for a card-carrying nerd’s movie library. It is such musicals that we honor here today.

I have deliberately left out musicals that have so far only been stage productions. Not that I have anything against live theatre, but such musicals are so numerous as to warrant their own list. Instead, I’ve decided to stick to film or television (and in one case: neither) productions. These media are much better known to nerddom, anyway–no offense, Theatre Geeks!

So clear your throats, and prepare to sing along with:

 

10. Phantom Of The Paradise

One of Brian de Palma’s very first films, Phantom of the Paradise is unique to say the least. “Weirder Than Tits On A Bishop” would be more to the point. It’s a celebration/brutal satire of 1970s pop music tropes, and the music business in general in the form of a musical based on a combination of Phantom of the Opera, Goethe’s Faust, and Oscar Wilde’s Picture of Dorian Grey. The songs were written and performed by ’70s musical wunderkind Paul Williams, best known for scoring The Muppet Movie. Williams also plays the film’s villain–and he gives one of the most disturbing performances in cinema history: Directing a sex tape for your grandparents is less unsettling than Paul Williams as evil record producer “Swan”. Above is the film’s trailer, with a voice-over by one of the most influential directors and nerds in Hollywood: Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Scott Pilgrim, Ant-Man)

 

9. Sweeney Todd

As awesome as Tim Burton’s cinematic adaptation of the famed musical tale of the semi-legendary murderous barber and the gruesome uses his accomplice, a baker of meat pies, found for his victims is, it’s a bit too mainstream to warrant a higher ranking on a list like this. I’m not judging which musicals are the BEST, merely the NERDIEST.

Still, Burton‘s Sweeney Todd has it’s share of nerd cred: “Burtonverse” fixtures Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter make the roles of Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett their own (and have surprisingly good singing voices).  The film is a casting director’s wet dream, with every role filled superlatively: Alan Rickman and Timothy Spall stand out as the draconian Judge Turpin and his repugnant toadie Beadle Bamford (yes, 3 members of this cast played Harry Potter characters!) Plus it’s visually magnificent, wickedly funny, and boasts some truly infectious musical numbers.

Oh, and blood. LOTS of blood.

8. Cry Baby

Sweeney Todd wasn’t Depp’s first musical–it was just the first he actually SANG in. Back in 1990, Johnny starred as Wade “Cry-Baby” Walker in John Waters’ 50s retro musical Cry Baby. The nerdiness of this film may be a tad less apparent than some of the other entries, but John Waters’ fandom is zealous, if relatively small: Cult comedy nerds may not be the most vocal or visible branch of the nerd family tree—but trust me, we’re there! This hilarious film boasts a number of truly eclectic cameos and supporting roles: Including Traci Lords, Iggy Pop, Susan Tyrrell (remember that name, you’ll hear it again soon), Willem Dafoe, and Ricki Lake (Glenn Milstead, AKA “Divine”, was originally part of the cast, but sadly passed away before filming began).

 

7. Cannibal! The Musical

Cannibal! The Musical, thanks to legendary independent film studio Troma (the fine folks who gave the world the Toxic Avenger franchise), who distributed this odd little film, put the names Trey Parker and Matt Stone on the radar….last I heard, they had this cartoon thing on basic cable, and some stage show about Jehovah’s Witnesses, I think.

Would have thought they’d have amounted to more given how awesome this film is: Cannibal! tells the story of Alferd Packer–supposedly the first American ever to be tried for cannibalism (Packer DID exist, but Parker and Stone‘s historical accuracy is dubious at best). A VERY young Trey Parker plays the titular cannibal, with Stone and their perennial sidekick Dian Bachar in supporting roles. Parker wrote and performed the music, and the whole thing is far more fun, likeable, and sweet than a movie about eating human flesh should be. Fans of South Park will recognize little tidbits that would later pop up in the show: Matt Stone’s character is where the series got Kyle’s big red Jew ‘fro, and a line in the song featured above is referenced in South Park: Bigger. Longer, and Uncut when Kenny’s heart is accidentally replaced by a baked potato.

6. Little Shop Of Horrors

The original Little Shop of Horrors made bad movie history when infamous schlock filmmaker, Roger Corman, produced and directed it in just under 3 days–merely to prove that he could make a movie from start to finish in under a week.

Two decades later, that story of the little skid row flower shop and the man-eating plant behind its doors became a blockbuster Broadway musical, and was soon adapted into a film by “Muppeteer” Frank Oz. It’s quite simply one of the most purely enjoyable movie musicals ever made, due largely to the brilliant performances of Rick Moranis, Ellen Greene, and Steve Martin, seen above in the iconic role of dentist/domestic abuser Dr. Orin Scrivello, DDS.

5. The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Yes, friends: The Rocky Horror Picture Show, adapted from the stage musical The Rocky Horror Show (see what they did there?) in 1975 by director Jim Sharman, writer Richard O’Brien, and producers Lou Adler and Michael White. It’s a devious satire of Middle-American values crossed with an homage to classic horror and science-fiction cinema. Everyone knows the plot: Girl and Boy go for drive, Girl and Boy meet Alien Transvestite, Alien Transvestite creates Muscle Man in vat of chemicals, Everybody has sex, Alien Transvestite and his creation killed with lasers by the help, Castle flies off into space, THE END.

Oh, and there’s a lot of really kickass musical numbers in between the sex and the death somewhere.

RHPS is probably best known not on its own merits, but due to the following it has developed: For 38 years fans have been going to midnight showings across the globe where they watch not only the film, but a “shadowcast” in front of the screen in full costume (well, the GOOD casts do it that way ;) ) miming the actions of the characters. The audience itself also gets into the action: Throwing things (carefully!) like toast and toilet paper at the prescribed times, and yelling call-backs and insults at the screen (an RHPS tradition from decades before MST3K or Rifftrax). In all seriousness, at least ONE trip to a midnight showing of Rocky Horror should be on everyone’s bucket list.

4. Shock Treatment

It’s likely many of you have never heard of this musical by the writers and producers of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It’s equally likely that if you have heard of it, you’ve heard it’s a sequel to Rocky Horror. That isn’t entirely accurate. The filmmakers refer to it as an “Equal, Not A Sequel”. Many of the same characters, actors and settings from Rocky Horror are present, but it isn’t really a continuation of Rocky’s story line: You could see Shock Treatment without ever knowing Rocky Horror exists, and you wouldn’t miss a thing.

Anyhoo, I personally prefer Shock Treatment to its far more famous predecessor: RHPS had a few better actors, and arguably superior production values–but Shock Treatment has much better songs, and a generally “nerdier” vibe. Long before things like Reality TV or The Truman Show, Richard O’Brien envisioned a town that WAS a TV studio itself….where citizens actually lived in shows and the audience just slept in their seats. Again, Middle America is satirized–but it’s not its puritanical morals that are attacked, but its mindless consumerism and obsession with television. I grant you the plot does wander, and lacks Rocky Horror’s cohesiveness: But the superior music makes up for these flaws. (FUN FACT: That’s Rik Mayall of The Young Ones taking the Polaroids)

3. Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Once More, With Feeling

I almost didn’t include this. I wanted to stick to movie musicals, and besides: I’m a lukewarm BTVS fan at best (Angel and Firefly are another story). But our dear and fluffy editor insisted….

And he knew what he was doing! I love this in ways I cannot properly communicate with language. Once More, With Feeling is a work of sheer genius, and the best part is you don’t need to know barely anything about Buffy to enjoy it. The flashback at the beginning is comprehensive enough to bring non-fans up to speed. Here’s the skinny: The town’s under the influence of a song and dance-loving demon accidentally summoned by Dawn Summers. The citizens are breaking into musical numbers at random….just as they would in a musical, except they realize it’s abnormal. Buffy and the Scoobies are affected as well, leading to some great numbers from the show’s best loved characters. Joss Whedon outdid himself with this episode: He could have had a very successful career as a songwriter. Once More, With Feeling has become one of the most famous and beloved BTVS episodes, and has even been performed by live casts on stage!

(PS: Sorry for the subtitles, but getting a clip of anything owned by Fox in its original form on YouTube is like pulling teeth–this was the best I could do…the alternative was a mere slideshow)

2.Forbidden Zone

Before he was the “Man Behind The Music” of Tim Burton’s film library, Danny Elfman fronted a New Wave/Ska fusion pop band called Oingo Boingo.

Before that, he composed and performed the music for an experimental musical theatre troupe in L.A. run by his brother Richard Elfman called The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo (hence the name)

Around 1980, when Danny decided he wanted to move from live theatre to music, he and Richard put together a movie version of everything the Mystic Knights was…sort of a “swan song” for the troupe, and Forbidden Zone was born. This utterly mad film follows the adventures of the unbelievably dysfunctional Hercules family, who discover a portal to a parallel universe called the Sixth Dimension in the basement of their new house. The music is a cacophony of conflicting styles, from jazz to rock to minstrel shows to Jewish Vaudeville–yet somehow it all works together, a testament to Elfman‘s genius. The cast includes the aforementioned Susan Tyrell and the late Herve Villechaize (yes, Tattoo from Fantasy Island) as the Sixth Dimension’s queen and king, and Danny himself as Satan (yes, SATAN). Unfortunately, early ’80s audiences didn’t quite get what the Elfman brothers were attempting here, the movie faced accusations of racism for its use of blackface, and it performed poorly at the box office…..Fortunately, the “Midnight Movie” crowd adopted it a few years later, and it’s developed a sizeable and rabid following.

1. Dr. Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog

Our #1 is neither a movie nor a television show, but holy balls is it NERDY!!!

Joss Whedon’s internet sensation Dr. Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog is nothing short of magic. It’s less than an hour long, but it easily out-nerds (if that’s a term) any feature length musical on this list. Neil Patrick Harris is Dr. Horrible: A budding supervillain torn between his devotion to evil and world conquest, and his crush on the pretty redhead at the Laundromat who runs a homeless shelter (if you never understood why nerds love Felicia Day so much, it’s because you never saw her in this). Horrible works out his frustrations on his video blog, and in song, as he works to gain the notice of legendary supervillain Bad Horse, and deals with the humiliation of constant defeat at the hands of Captain Hammer: World’s Douchiest Superhero (Nathan Fillion–obviously having the time of his life) who’s also dating his girl!

I won’t spoil the ending, but try to remember: This IS a Whedon production….

 

Salute to Sexy Male Cosplay: Ghost Slayers, Pokemon Trainers, an Asgardian God & MOAR!

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We celebrate some of the finest lady cosplayers the net has to offer in our weekly Sexy Cosplay of the Week feature. We love Sexy Cosplay of the Week – it is an institution here at NerdBastards – but the staff thought it was about time that we did something to celebrate some of the sexiest male cosplays we could find.

So, with that in mind, we bring you this Salute to Sexy Male Cosplay, because damn it, you deserve a good dose of eye candy and these guys deserve a little bit of recognition for their awesome costumes, attention to detail, and abs that make all the guys here at NerdBastards feel extremely inadequate.

So enjoy the Nerd Bastards’ Salute to Sexy Male Cosplay!

Hit the jump for all the muscles and fabric you can enjoy and send your own to nerdbastardcosplay@gmail.com so we can keep doing this.

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Crowdfund Confidential: Leave Em Laughing — A Tribute to Robert Schimmel

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I got into Robert Schimmel’s comedy at an inappropriate age. He was a little crude but bluntly honest and keenly observant, and though I didn’t understand all of his material, I fucking adored it.

If Schimmel was on Howard Stern (another comic who I got into at an inappropriate age)I was listening. When his albums like If You Buy This CD I Can Get This Car and Unprotected came out, I blew my allowance on them or put them on my Hanukkah list. I’m quite sure my mother was concerned.

Now, if you know who Robert Schimmel is, then you know that his life ended tragically in a 2010 car crash. You may also know that Schimmel had beaten cancer, a heart attack, and great personal loss in his life, things that he kept coming back from, things that he kept making fun of because he could seemingly always find humor in the darkest of places.

In my humble view as a mere observer, that is part of his great and durable legacy, but there was clearly so much more to the man, and that’s why his brother Jeff is now trying to celebrate Robert’s life with a memorial e-book that will collect tons of stories and pieces from his brother’s life and career.

You can learn more about Jeff’s Kickstarter project by clicking here, but first, I urge you to read our interview with him about Robert, what kind of man he was, and why his is a career that deserves such recognition.

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Can you paint the picture of who Robert was as a comic, as a brother, as a friend?

Jeff Schimmel: The best way to describe Robert Schimmel, as a comedian, is to say he was a throwback. He was more like an old school comic than someone from the newer waves. He liked to wear suits onstage, and was most comfortable just holding a microphone and pacing back and forth, head down, talking to the audience. He considered himself to be one of them, but with one major difference. He was saying the things that the others in the crowd were only thinking. If you listen to him carefully, you’ll notice that his vibe is more like that of a mischievous kid who was afraid of getting caught doing something wrong than a raunchy comedian who was just trying to shock you into nervous laughter.

As a brother, he was a challenge. He was always funnier to me offstage than onstage, but that often got me into trouble with our parents. If I laughed during an inappropriate moment, I would instantly catch a backhand to the chops from Mom. But she did it with love. We loved each other like crazy, and when we fought, it was like the worst of enemies going at it. It took me many years to understand that siblings fight, no matter how much they care about one another. But he was there for me and, as a big brother who was seven years older than me, he did all the things a big brother would do, good and bad.

Also, it isn’t really possible to explain Bobby (that’s what we called him) as a brother without including our sister, Sandy, in the mix. She was in between us in age, but there is no such thing as the Two Stooges. Sandy had her own relationship with Bobby that was nothing like mine, and the three of us had another dynamic that we shared, much to our amusement.

As a friend, I would say my brother was probably the best you could ever have. He would literally do anything for someone he cared about. Ask anyone, and they will tell you what a kind, gentle, sympathetic and empathetic man he was. He didn’t just love family and friends, he spent countless hours, year after year, providing support of all types to strangers in need. He rarely spoke about it, because he wasn’t interested in accolades.

Robert had a very honest, very unguarded act on stage and on his appearances on the Howard Stern show that drew from his life and his family’s life. Was there ever a time where you thought he went too far, a time when his act made you wince a bit?

Jeff: One thing you had to know about Robert Schimmel, the comedian, is that he didn’t have a filter hooked up to his mouth. He would just let it fly, and hope for the best. Sometimes, that blew up in his face. But he was willing to take that chance if it meant he could make you laugh, or portray the world in a real way. There were times that I would walk into work, and find co-workers in the hallway, anxious to ask, “Hey, did you hear your brother on Stern today? Is that stuff true?” I remember stopping short and dropping my head, and asking, “What did he say this time?”

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Showtime’s ‘Inside Comedy with David Steinberg’ will run a full length interview with Robert Schimmel on Monday night’s episode.

Has this project, the memorial e-book, made you feel closer to Robert, has it helped with the healing or have their been times where — well I imagine you’ve had to go through a lot of old pictures, video, etc — has that hit a nerve as well?

Jeff: When my brother had his car accident, that hit the nerves at once, and no nerves would ever need to be hit again. I think that applies to my Dad and sister as well. I can’t speak for anyone else, nor will I try to quantify their emotions. We didn’t just lose a brother and a son. We lost Bobby, the guy that we knew, and who went on to become comedian Robert Schimmel. Those are two different people, but two people who can’t be separated. Bobby gave Robert things to talk about. It’s hard to explain, and I don’t mean it in some stupid way. He didn’t have an alter ego like some other comedians I know. It’s just that being his brother meant that I would always be identified with him, and that is a plus and a minus. For years, I felt as if I didn’t have an identity unless my brother was standing next to me. I even told a mutual friend, who is a great comedian in his own right, that I’m always surprised when people recognize me if I’m alone.

Away from the stage, what are some of the things about Robert that you want people to know and what inspired you to do this and to share some of these memories with Robert’s fans?

Jeff: My brother worked all over the country, and fans flocked to those shows. But during the day, when those fans were unaware of Robert Schimmel, he would spend hours visiting children’s hospitals. He lost a son, and he never completely got over it, as if anyone could. He couldn’t do anything more for his own kid, but he would go all out to do something for a stranger’s kid. He would buy toys, play with the kids, support the parents who were going through emotional turmoil. And while he was going through his own battle with cancer, my brother would visit infusion centers everywhere, bringing comedy CDs from a myriad of comedians, as well as CD players that he would buy and give as gifts, just so people could maintain a positive attitude and laugh a little bit during treatment.

This has to be a tough question answer, but what do you think your brother’s legacy is both as a comic and as a man?

Jeff: You’re right, this is a tough one. To his fans, Robert Schimmel is an adored entertainer. No doubt about that. To some comedians, he was an inspiration. I don’t want to get too negative here, but you asked, so I’ll answer. Before I began the fundraising process for this tribute project, I thought my brother’s legacy as a comedian was cemented in eternity. Carved in stone, just like the words “I’m A Comedian” that grace his headstone. But it has been extremely difficult to get people to be willing to part with $1.00 to help us create a fitting memorial for my brother. It’s hard to believe, but I think this is a case of “What have you done for me LATELY?” Sure, he worked in great clubs in L.A. and New York, and everywhere in between. But he’s been gone for 2 1/2 years, so they seem to have forgotten that he packed their seats, night after night. If clubs participated in our campaign with just the price of ONE ticket to a Robert Schimmel, we would’ve been done with our fundraising efforts a long, long time ago. They haven’t, and we aren’t.

Please, feel free to say anything you like about Robert and why people should chip in to help you guys get over the hump and get this project funded.

Jeff: Why should people contribute to our tribute project for Robert Schimmel? That’s easy. If you like comedy, you can appreciate his talent. If you’re a fan, no explanation necessary. If you went through harsh treatment for an illness, you can identify with him, especially if you read his book. If you’re just interested in reading very, very funny stories and seeing private video, you’ll love this interactive eBook tribute. The bottom line is this: he deserves a tribute because he’s Robert Schimmel.

Here is the link to check out the Leave ‘Em Laughing Kickstarter.

Jeff is looking to raise $14,250 and as of this article going live, he is just $1,152 short with only 5 days left, so if you feel like you want to support the campaign, give a few bucks, and please share this article and the link to the Kickstarter campaign.

Enter the Cage: ‘Seeking Justice’, ‘Trespass’, and Why Nic Cage is Magic

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He is our greatest over-actor, and yet for years I thumbed my nose at Nicolas Cage, damning him for his inability to re-create the brilliance that he has exhibited a handful of times thanks to superior material, divine intervention, or Faustian barter/trading.

Thankfully, I have evolved and realized that Cage is a vapor that cannot be contained by convention or weighed down by the expectations of others. He is not for us, but for future generations that will be choked numb by an avalanche of technology and distance. For them, Nicolas Cage films will be a road map back to the abundant emotions that only the ghosts whisper about.

For them, he will be a truth, not an oddity. So, with that in mind, I have embraced the embrace of the Cage and his electric howl.

Do you doubt my song and my near-religious conversion?

Do you not realize that Nic Cage has rumbled with fish, raced and then struck the moon, had a honeymoon and then died in Las Vegas before breaking into Alcatraz? Do you not recognize that he cut his fucking face off, brought out the dead, talked to the wind, saved the Declaration of Independence, fought off bees, lit his skull on fire, got dangerous in Bangkok, and then drove angry while seeking justice?

Cage Vamp

Cage is a dinosaur skull owning vampire and a thunder God who lives in a German castle, plays the mandolin, and fucked Elvis’ daughter after he fucked the woman who would one day become The Punisher’s psychic wife. How about you?

Cage was too much man to be Krypton’s last son and as the adage goes, his hair has more range than most other actors. Can you telekinetically make your hairline dance? Didn’t think so.

His madness is method, his eyes are wide, wild, and white and his warrior cry can castrate a bear from three miles out.

In an age when Liam Neeson is the accepted definition of cinematic toughness because he trained Batman and punched a wolf, Nic Cage merely laughs inappropriately, trains a pint sized vigilante and then eye-fucks a unicorn while riding a dragon bareback and some of these things are exaggerations!

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Hell yeah, he owned an octopus once! He also worked with both Sean Connery (James Bond) and Jon Lovitz (the exact opposite of James Bond) over the course of two years. Moby took one look at Red Rock West and wrote a song about Nic Cage because Nic Cage is made of stars, and so to commemorate that, we bring you a look at two of Cage’s films in what may become a regular thing here if the mood strikes us me.

Without further ado, film reviews and slightly less peculiar word choices.

Seeking Justice

The first of four Cage movies that I watched last night in an unhealthy binge of whisper/scream acting, Seeking Justice stars Cage as a high school teacher whose wife (played by Mad Men’s January Jones) gets sexually assaulted on the streets of New Orleans. Beset by grief and sitting in the waiting room in the hours after the attack, Cage’s character is approached by Guy Pearce, who plays a shady stranger that offers Cage a chance at revenge through his group of vigilante do-gooders, provided Cage promises to return the favor one day.

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All in all, the premise sounds like the basis for an interesting and grimy examination into the sadistic parts of an emotionally destroyed brain and the dark places that can get visited in moments of deep duress. It’s easy to empathize with Cage’s character in that moment when he agrees to this deal with Pearce, and it’s interesting to see the reality of what he has done settle around his shoulders and bleed into his heart. He is a defacto murderer, but he tries to move on. Sadly, Pearce and others in the organization keep coming for him.

I would have loved this movie had it accepted this simple premise and not tried to weave a somewhat complex and mostly implausible conspiracy that taints the police, mild-mannered friends, and many others. This could have been a bare thriller, casting Cage as a man who has to run from a sin that many of us might entertain if put in the same set of horrific circumstances.

The end is painfully predictable, but Cage is solid and so is Jones, who I usually can’t stand. Guy Pearce should have written “Pass” on his forehead so he remembered to run away from this thoroughly cartoonish black hat role, rather than report to set everyday. That was a Memento reference  in case you weren’t picking up what I was throwing down.

Overall…

Cage Face Seeking Justice

Trespass

Directed by Joel Schumacher, Tresspass makes the same mistake as Seeking Justice in that it takes a simple premise — a home invasion that unites a divided family against masked theives — and corrupts it with ambition and a need to give every single character busy work.

The film stars Cage, Nicole Kidman and Liana Liberato as a diamond broker, his desperate housewife, and his rebellious daughter, and Cam Gigandet, Ben Mendelsohn (who is quite good in this), Dash Mihok, and Jordana Spiro as the masked thieves who invade Cage’s posh house looking for a quick score.

Cage is fantastic in this one, employing some kind of high pitched, dweeb tone to oversell his flaccidity and architectural over-compensation. He also refuses to give the thieves the money that they desire and gets the living crap beaten out of him for his trouble making ways, so if anyone is still pissed off about Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, this is an Ikea bed built for you to sleep and dream on.

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The real trouble — with the story — begins when we go behind the mask and start learning about the thieves’ backstory. Mihok is a sadistic heavy, Mendelsohn is small time dope peddler looking to payoff a debt that he owes to Mihok’s employer while keeping both his little brother (Gigandet) and his psycho stripper girlfriend in line. By the way, it’s Gigandet’s character that hatched this whole plan and he’s actually in love with/stalking Kidman’s character without cause and with tremendous, negative effect.

I weep for what this could have been had they kept the thieves faceless and kept the domestic squabbles in the forefront instead of efforting to make a more Better Home and Gardens friendly version of Panic Room on crack. But hey, it’s Schumacher, so it’s just gotta be busy and wrought with an abundance of layers that suck all the air out of the metaphorical room and clog the story with needless knick knacks that we have to climb over to get to the point.

With that said, it’s a good film that could have been better. Overall…

Cage Face Trespass

So, two Nicolas Cage reviews and a testimonial to the man’s genius. Clearly you, dear reader, won at life Plinko. Stay tuned, maybe next time we’ll talk about Knowing and Amos and Andrew.

Interview: Mike Norton on ‘The Answer’, ‘Revival’, and ‘Battlepug’

In 2012, All-Star Marvel and DC artist Mike Norton further moved toward creator owned projects, continuining his Eisner Award winning Battlepug saga online (and in collected editions through Dark Horse) while also co-creating Image Comics’ rural noir zombie book Revival and Dark Horse Comics’ brand new costumed hero book, The Answer, which debuts today.

Here, Norton tells us about how he picks his projects, why he doesn’t hide from superhero tropes, how Revival isn’t your typical zombie book, battling zombie fatigue, and if he’d like to see Battlepug live on as a cartoon series.

Along the way, we also discuss the challenges of telling a slow burn story, the appeal of The Answer‘s female lead, and how a costumed hero fits in at Dark Horse.

All that and more with Mike Norton after the jump.  (more…)

REVIEW: Does ‘The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey’ Live Up to Expectations?

The first, second, and probably eighth word that comes to mind when thinking about, discussing, or writing about The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Peter Jackson‘s long-awaited return to the Middle Earth, is, to put it bluntly, “bloat.” Clocking in at two hours and fifty minutes, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey suffers from an under-motivated central character, poorly defined supporting characters, a meandering, unfocused first hour, and a sporadically engaging quest narrative in the second and third hours. The visual effects are variable and occasionally cheap-looking and they are made all the worse when viewed in Jackson’s preferred format of 48 FPS (frames per second), which is less a technological leap forward than it is a probable dead end.

Warning: Possible spoilers ahead. 

Jackson gives us not one, not two, but three prologues, beginning with an elderly Bilbo Baggins (Ian Holm), recounting the events that led to the fall of the dwarf kingdom at the center of the film before segueing to a pre-Lord of the Rings encounter between Bilbo and his nephew, Frodo (Elijah Wood), before segueing again to a younger Bilbo (the wisely chosen Martin Freeman).

The Bilbo we meet has little taste for adventure or risk. He prefers his materially comfortable life in Bag-End to the potential dangers of the outside world. It takes Gandalf the Grey (Ian McKellen), an itinerant wizard primarily known for his fireworks displays, to spur Bilbo from his provincial complacency by forcefully introducing him to a company of twelve dwarves led by Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage), the deposed heir of the dwarf kingdom. Thorin, of course, wants to reclaim his kingdom, but a dragon by the name of Smaug stands in his way.

Even after a reluctant Bilbo decides to join Gandalf, Thorin, and the other dwarves, the narrative pace doesn’t so much pick up as go sideways, filling the next hour with episodic encounters with, among others, Radegast the Brown, (Sylvester McCoy), a minor, forest- dwelling wizard who plays a marginal, tangential role. Naturally, he also encounters orcs, man-eating trolls, stone giants, and goblins — including a grotesque, repellent Goblin King whose singular design reflects Guillermo del Toro’s involvement in pre-production.

Familiar faces makes an appearance in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey thanks to a side trip (they’re all, ultimately, side trips) to Rivendell, the elf kingdom home to Elrond (Hugo Weaving) and Galadriel (Cate Blanchett), along with Saruman (Christopher Lee). familiar faces three, before not one, but two extended battles, one below ground and another above. Another familiar face, Gollum (Andy Serkis), appears as well. With more than a decade’s worth of motion-capture developments to draw from, the Gollum in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is noticeably more expressive than the Gollum moviegoers met eleven years ago. He’s also less the wretched, woeful creature we met a decade ago. He’s far more dangerous, far more treacherous, and far more unpredictable. This Gollum is a cunning, conflicted sociopath willing to bet his life against Bilbo’s in a game of riddles. The encounter, of course, proves key for another reason: Gollum loses and Bilbo gains the ring (and object of desire) at the center of The Lord of the Rings.

Unfortunately, Gollum’s appearance proves to be short-lived. Once Bilbo and Gollum part company on less than friendly terms, the CG monsters, CG backgrounds, and CG- heavy set pieces take over, to increasingly mind- and body-numbing effect. By the time the characters in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey near the end of the first part of their destination audiences will be just as exhausted as the characters onscreen. The promise of two more films to round out another trilogy doesn’t feel like a promise at all. At best, it feels like a challenge. At worst, it feels like a chore. It’s probably more of the latter than the former.

Mel Valentin is a prominent film critic based out of Northern California. You can find his film reviews on NextProjection.com, SFStation.com, and VeryAware.com.