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For those  growing up in the 80s and 90s, the action movie genre was a wellspring of incredible stars duking it out on the big screen. Two of the greatest action stars of the era got together for Universal Soldier as well as its sequels and though they worked constantly since that movie premiered in 1992, they didn’t share the screen again until The Expendables 2 in 2012. Now it’s time for Dolph Lundgren and Jean-Claude Van Damme to pair up once again for the upcoming action-thriller, Black Water. (more…)

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Don’t let Electric Boogaloo fool you: Roger Corman started it.

Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus simply improved upon the cheapo tyrant formula that came to dominate drive-in style cinema in the 60s and 70s. Technically, The Weinstein Brothers perfected the mold, taking the schlock-factory model and somehow managing to add genuine quality into the mix (a shocker, I know). But none did it quite like Golan & Globus, whose somewhat unbelievable rags to riches story was fueled by pure, maniacal love for cinema. And much like he captured the Outback mayhem that was Australian genre cinema in the 70s with Not Quite Hollywood, Mark Hartley has returned to give us The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films. Only by narrowing the focus of the film and making it much more about Golan & Globus as people (though the constant talking head impersonations of the brothers threaten to turn the cousins into cartoons), it gives Electric Boogaloo an intimate edge that the director’s previous cinema documentaries lacked. Frankly speaking, Mark Hartley’s third picture devoted to the niche racks at your local video store (or, more accurately in 2014: Netflix Queue) might be the best movie about movies since Ted Demme’s A Decade Under the Influence. (more…)

Kickboxer

Fresh off of their respective turns as Marvel characters, WWE star Dave Bautista and UFC fighter George St. Pierre are signing on to a remake of the classic Jean Claude Van-Damme martial arts revenge film, Kickboxer. However, neither is looking to take Muay Thai lessons, as they’re going to simply be playing flesh-pounding fodder for a young up-and-coming fighter who has agreed to slip into Kurt Sloane’s skin.

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Gather round for the latest episode of The BastardCast! This time, Jeremy and Jason give you enough to eat at home (or wherever you listen to the show) as they discuss the heartwarming Batkid, the latest batch of mind-numbing Batman vs. Superman rumors (HEADLINE! Key Grip Says Ghost of Gorshin to Go Gonzo in Gotham!), and we dissect the Doctor Who prequel mini-sode and preview the 50th Anniversary Special. (more…)

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This time on The Real Heroes of Podcasting, otherwise known as The BastardCast, Jeremy and Jason are joined by leather clad dynamo Chris Cummins (Geekadelphia, Topless Robot, & HibernationSickness.com) to do the no-no dance with words and emotion and sexual fervor. Also, Star Wars and a special iTeam investigation, “Unicorns vs. Dragons: Who Would You Rather Get Blown By?” The answer may surprise you. (more…)

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It looks like Universal Pictures has gone back to the recycling bin once again and this time the victim is Jean-Claude Van Damme’s 1994 time travel action flick, Timecop.  It may be just one of many in Van Damme’s long career of bad movies, but it also happens to be his highest grossing film ever and is widely considered to be one of his best flicks as far as critics are concerned.  Sounds to me like just the right recipe for a properly profitable reboot.

In case you missed this one, the premise of Timecop is pretty simple.  Van Damme is an agent who fights time travel criminals.  He discovers that a politician is abusing the system and making himself powerful.  A conflict ensues and lots of people die.

The flick is currently in its gestational stages, with Universal seeking out writers to put together a decent script.  If successful, we will no doubt see a pile of sequels following the first.  Unfortunately, the new incarnation of Timecop is shaping up to be, according to sources, 100% Van Damme free.

What do the Nerd Readers think about this one?  Is it worth the time and effort to recycle Timecop?  Should Van Damme at least get an honorary cameo?  Should we gather up the CEOs of Universal and have some public executions?

 

Thanks to ComicBookMovie for the heads-up.

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This week on this thing that is stellar (aka The Bastardcast): Jeremy and Jason deal with the death of Amanda Bynes Drakenated downstairs corridor, the disappointment that is Denny’s Baconated menu, how to escape the Escape from New York reboot, the trailer for Star Trek Into Darkness About The Notion of What Star Trek Was Before JJ Abrams, and a madcap scheme to partially own part of a guy’s face.

These fine gentlemen also talk about the small reason why one particular couple in Taiwan are getting a divorce, the big reason why Jon Hamm is suddenly a social pariah (hint: his new rap names are Ol’ BRICK DICK and Hamm sausage McWiggle), Jason’s wife found him on Twitter, and Jean Claude Van Damme is thinking about doing things to the Marvel Movie Universe.
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The Bastardcast: We have boundary issues.

The future holds for movie viewers yet another remake of an old classic.  This time around it’s Bloodsport, the punch-kick film from 1988 that pitted Jean-Claude Van Damme against a host of other martial artists in a visual spectacle with little storyline.  The man stepping up to the plate to write the new script is none other than Robert Mark Kamen, perhaps best known for penning The Karate Kid and Transporter franchises as well as his most recent work, Taken 2.

When chatting with CraveOnline about the upcoming remake, Kamen expressed his opinion that he’d rather the movie have nothing to do with Jean-Claude Van Damme, even in a small cameo.

Or, in his own words:

This film resembles the original in title only. It has nothing to do with any Kumite contest. It has nothing to do with Frank Dux. If the title was not the same, you would not associate the two films. To use JCVD would make no sense because the association would be lost as the story has nothing to do with the first one. If anything it would be a distraction.

So… it has nothing to do with the original one, eh?  Then why fkn name it Bloodsport and refer to it as a remake?  Oh, that’s right – cause people will buy more tickets if they can be fooled into believing they’re getting a movie made from the same franchise as the original.

This Nerdbastard’s opinion: Lame move you greedy wankers.

 

Thanks to ComingSoon for the info.

Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut. Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at nerdybits@nerdbastards.com.

ABOVE: It’s the only kind of facehugger you won’t be trying to rip off your face. At least not until you’ve have your hit. Yup, it’s a Alien facehugger bong. [DangerousMinds]

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