I think most folks can agree that 2004′s Van Helsing was an unabashed cheese fest. Even with all it’s action, effects and star power of Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale the film was destined for the discount movie bin.

Its failure, of course, means its getting a reboot. Yes, another reboot! This rehash, however, will be its own film. The only thing thing it will share with Jackman and Beckinsale’s abortion of a movie is its name.

This version by Universal pictures will be scripted by two of the three minds behind the upcoming Star Trek into Darkness, Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci. Former Katie Holmes hubby and action star Tom Cruise is poised to star in the action fantasy reboot.

The project is still early stages of development. It’s got a leading man and a master writing team, but where is Van Helsing’s director ?

With no director, all you have is two guys locked in a room writing and an actor pushing his Scientology beliefs on the stage crew – neither of which is a good thing. Thankfully, according to Twitch, Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders has reportedly been chosen to helm the project.

At this time, no official announcements have been made. If Sanders does agree, it’ll free up the Snow White sequel to some new direction.

In light of recent wrong doings with an openly known Twilight actress, he would be wise to accept the position; taking some heat off his shoulders.

I for one, hope he takes the project. He’s such a raw and visceral director. I think his aptitude for doom and gloom would match up very well for this vampire hunting romp.

Source: Coming Soon

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Total Recall is a film about a ho-hum factory worker named Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell) who, on the recommendation of a co-worker, decides to visit a company called Rekall. In Rekall, they basically plug you into a machine that can give you the memories of any life or fantasy that you desire. Want to think that you were a rock star and have actual memories of living that life? No problem, just pay up and plug in. The only catch is that you’re not supposed to have them implant memories of a life that you already live. If you are already a spy in real life, they won’t implant additional fake memories of a spy fantasy, or it could cause a drastic brain overload, and then God kills a puppy…or did my mom tell me that after the time she caught me…nevermind. Anyway, guess what happens to poor old Doug! After he essentially gets his mind scrambled, Doug spends the rest of the movie trying to figure out what’s real, who he was, who he is and who he should be, not to mention who he should trust. It’s a great concept, but the movie left much to be desired with the follow-through.

There were some ups, some downs…some more downs, and way too much Colin Farrell. I do have to give credit where credit is due, though, so let’s start out with a spoon full of sugar before the medicine goes down.

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If you missed the Total Recall clip that aired on “The Ellen DeGeneres” the other day, fear not true believer, NerdBastards has the clip and a couple of new Three Boobed Hooker (Kaitlyn Leeb) pictures from SDCC2012.

This just might be the summer’s palat cleanser after we all suffer the after effects of The Dark Knight Rises. Maybe this action packed thrill ride . . . Sony Pictures words not mine, can help.

Total Recall hits theater screens on August 3rd, starring Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Bryan Cranston, and Jessica Biel.

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Anyone familiar with the 1990 version of Total Recall will undoubtedly recall (no pun intended) the 3 breasted mutant hooker; the one Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character surprisingly didn’t fuck. When that triple chested whore appeared on screen, men were given a fantasy of breasts they never knew they wanted. I mean come on, 3 breasts? What a novel idea! Oh, this reminds me of a funny story. This one time, in a strip club in Canada, I got a lap dance from a girl with 3 nipples. At least I think it was a third nipple. It could have been a slice of pepperoni. Regardless,  that’s the closest I’ve ever come to living out my Total Recall triple tit fantasy. It was amazing! But I digress…

Will the Len Wiseman‘s adaptation of Total Recall feature a three-boobed woman? I had heard reports that it was real, that it was actually happening. But in the latest trailer for Total Recall, we finally get to see the three-breasted mutant woman for ourselves. Yippie!

Besides the triple chested tramp, this looks pretty good for a reboot.  Wiseman can stage some good action sequences and it looks like he’s gone all out here. I’m actually looking forward to it.

The August 3 release is an action thriller about reality and memory, inspired anew by the famous short story “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick. Welcome to Rekall, the company that can turn your dreams into real memories. For a factory worker named Douglas Quaid (Farrell), even though he’s got a beautiful wife (Beckinsale) who he loves, the mind-trip sounds like the perfect vacation from his frustrating life – real memories of life as a super-spy might be just what he needs. But when the procedure goes horribly wrong, Quaid becomes a hunted man. Finding himself on the run from the police – controlled by Chancellor Cohaagen (Cranston), the leader of the free world – Quaid teams up with a rebel fighter (Biel) to find the head of the underground resistance (Nighy) and stop Cohaagen. The line between fantasy and reality gets blurred and the fate of his world hangs in the balance as Quaid discovers his true identity, his true love, and his true fate.

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Another television spot for Len Wiseman’s Total Recall remake has hit the Internet and you can watch it below. For those of you that have no idea what Total Recall is . . . don’t worry, we’re not gonna make too much fun of ya. Check out the synopsis below to bring yourself up to speed.

“Welcome to Rekall, the company that can turn your dreams into real memories. For a factory worker named Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), even though he’s got a beautiful wife (Kate Beckinsale) who he loves, the mind-trip sounds like the perfect vacation from his frustrating life – real memories of life as a super-spy might be just what he needs. But when the procedure goes horribly wrong, Quaid becomes a hunted man. Finding himself on the run from the police � controlled by Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston), the leader of the free world � Quaid teams up with a rebel fighter (Jessica Biel) to find the head of the underground resistance (Bill Nighy) and stop Cohaagen. The line between fantasy and reality gets blurred and the fate of his world hangs in the balance as Quaid discovers his true identity, his true love, and his true fate.”

Total Recall is set for release on August 3rd and stars Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, John Cho and Bill Nighy, and is based on Phillip K. Dick’s “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale.”

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After the jump, we’ve got the first TV spot for Len Wiseman‘s Total Recall reboot. While it doesn’t have any new footage it still makes this movie look a lot better than I expected it would be. Yes, still holding out for a tri-boobed hooker, but even if that doesn’t make it into this new non-Mars based version of Philip K. Dick‘s “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale,” it still looks like it might be a fun little flick. It Stars Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel and opens on August 3rd. (more…)

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The latest international trailer for Len Wiseman’s Total Recall remake has hit the ‘net and boy howdy, does it look like the last one. Sure there is a small sprinkling of new footage if you really want to scour it frame by frame, but it still left me with an empty feeling.

Don’t get me wrong, I will fully admit this version of the classic Philip K. Dick short story We Can Remember It For You Wholesale looks like a great sci-fi movie, it still depresses me a little inside. No, this is not some old nerd pining for the original… ok, maybe it is a little.

Is a 3 boobed hooker just to much to ask for these days?

Check it the trailer after the jump.

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If you’ve seen the previously released trailer for Len Wiseman’s remake of Total Recall, you can now enjoy the condensed Japanese version posted below:

Welcome to Rekall, the company that can turn your dreams into real memories. For a factory worker named Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), even though he’s got a beautiful wife (Kate Beckinsale) who he loves, the mind-trip sounds like the perfect vacation from his frustrating life – real memories of life as a super-spy might be just what he needs. But when the procedure goes horribly wrong, Quaid becomes a hunted man. Finding himself on the run from the police  controlled by Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston), the leader of the free world, Quaid teams up with a rebel fighter (Jessica Biel) to find the head of the underground resistance (Bill Nighy) and stop Cohaagen. The line between fantasy and reality gets blurred and the fate of his world hangs in the balance as Quaid discovers his true identity, his true love, and his true fate.

Source: Coming Soon

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A few days ago, we shared with you the trailer for Total Recall.  And suffice to say that it was fuckin’ awesome.

In a rare move, director Len Wiseman got together with MTV and recorded a director’s commentary on the trailer.  Yes, you read that right.  He did a commentary of the trailer.  It actually helps to provide some neat insight into the process.  I suppose this means we can expect a director’s commentary when the DVD comes out.

Check out the trailer with his commentary below.  The film is out in theaters on August 3, 2012 and stars Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, John Cho and Bill Nighy.

Hit the jump for the official synopsis.

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I’m going to guess that this either for an upcoming broadcast or a recent one of Entertainment Tonight, as I would rather pass something the size of a golf ball through a nostril than watch that show, we’ll just leave it at that.

ET put up a nice little behind the scenes featurette for the forthcoming Total Recall reboot. By the sounds of it the movie (you can watch the stunningly awesome and far better than expected trailer here) will play a little closer to the source material, Philip K. Dick‘s “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale”, than the 80′s action flick with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Hit the jump to watch interviews with with Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel. Sadly, it doesn’t sound like Biel is in the role of Kuato. Damn it, she would have been perfect!

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