kill bill


It seems that these days, everyone has an opinion on everything – or more accurately: people have had opinions for a long time, but now the internet bombards us with everyone’s opinion on everything.  There is a select group of people in the world of entertainment, however, that most would agree have actually earned the right to have their opinions carry the actual weight that most of us believe our ideas should.  I think most would agree that Quentin Tarantino – the seminal writer/director behind such pop-culture mega-hits as Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, Reservoir Dogs, Inglorious Basterds, and so much more – would fall into that category.  He recently opened up about his feelings on the recent influx of superhero movies – read on to hear his thoughts!


TMNT art

Time for your weekly dose of the fantastic fandom-based art that’s hit the web this week with your Nerd Art Dump. Each and every week we pick and choose through the masses of prints and pics on the digital frontier to give you nothing but the best to fill your geek needs. So on with the dump.

ABOVE: One has to wonder where those darned Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles learned all them fancy ninja moves. Mike Wrobel has created a piece of art that may reveal some of the secrets behind the creation of this sewer-dwelling team. (more…)


Time for your weekly dose of the fantastic fandom-based art that’s hit the web this week with your Nerd Art Dump. Each and every week we pick and choose through the masses of prints and pics on the digital frontier to give you nothing but the best to fill your geek needs. So on with the dump.

ABOVE:  – Not a big fan of the latest Spider-Man movie’s mecha-Rhino version of the classic Spidey baddie?  Check out this depiction of what traditional Rhino might look like if you had the misfortune of meeting him face-to-face. By John Gallagher (more…)

Summer reigns supreme! As the  hot and humid air settles in, people are beginning to find their spot on the sofa and get their channel-surfing finger at the ready.  SyFy, in the nick of time, has released their lineup of shows for the summer season, and its looking to be by far a diverse array of shows. Here is the official announcement from SyFy:



NEW YORK – May 15, 2012 – Featuring a record number of primetime original programming hours, Syfy’s hot Summer 2012 will be highlighted by the premiere of the new unscripted series School Spirits (from executive producer Mark Burnett), Insane or Inspired? and Paranormal Highway (working title) starring Jack Osbourne; new seasons of hits Warehouse 13, Face Off, Alphas, Destination Truth and Haunted Collector, along with the eagerly anticipated Saturday Original Movies Jersey Shore Shark Attack and Bigfoot, plus the series finale of the beloved Eureka.

Syfy will also present a Memorial Day weekend movie festival highlighted by the premiere of Super Shark on May 26th, followed by the semi-annual Twilight Zone marathon on July 4th.

Lost Girl will move to Fridays at 10PM beginning Friday, July 20.



Premieres Friday, May 25 at 10PM

This new series features the most exciting videos from the Internet that celebrate the world of imagination, invention, and extreme experiences. Actors Amber Benson (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Samm Levine (Freaks & Geeks), Brooke Hogan, Ralph Garman, as well as television personality Josh Gates, host of Syfy’s Destination Truth, join comedians Ben Gleib, Owen Benjamin, Jodi Miller, Elliot Chang, Jermaine Fowler, Adam Ray, Christiana Pazistky, KT Tatara and Janet Varney to provide their unique commentary on each of the clips. The result is a fast-paced hour-long countdown of hilarious viral videos. Insane or Inspired? is produced by Comcast Studios with Jay James, Betsy Rott, and Sean Olsen serving as executive producers.



Premieres Wednesday, June 6 at 9PM

Haunted Collector features eminent paranormal collector John Zaffis, the season 2 premiere has the team heading to Warsaw, Kentucky, where a woman’s home is suffering hauntings, possibly from two steamboats which crashed in a fiery collision, killing more than 60 people in 1868. Next, they travel to Huron, Ohio, in a race against the clock to remove the dangerous energy from an abandoned silo, scheduled to be destroyed in 48 hours. Haunted Collector is produced by Gurney Productions. Executive producers are Scott Gurney and Deirdre Gurney.

Premieres Wednesday, June 20 at 10PM
From executive producer Mark Burnett, School Spirits travels to schools and universities all across the country to recount the true ghost stories experienced on these academic campuses. Executive producers: Mark Burnett (Survivor, The Voice) and Seth Jarrett & Julie Insogna Jarrett (Celebrity Ghost Stories).

Jersey Shore Shark Attack – Saturday, June 9 at 9PM – Led by an all-star cast of Tony Sirico (The Sopranos), Paul Sorvino (Goodfellas), Jack Scalia (Dallas), Joey Fatone (‘N Sync), William Atherton (Die Hard) and Vinny Guadagnino (Jersey Shore) the movie unfolds during the July Fourth weekend at the Jersey Shore, where angry sharks are on a rampage, devouring residents, leaving it to the local Guidos to save the day. The movie also stars Jeremy Luke as The Complication, Melissa Molinaro as Nooki, Joey Russo as Donnie, Daniel Booko as Balzac, Audi Resendez as B.J., and Alex Mauriello as J-Moni. Jersey Shore Shark Attack is a production of Hybrid Entertainment. The director is John Shepphird. Jeffrey Schenck, Barry Barnholtz and Peter Sullivan are the producers.

· Piranhaconda – Saturday, June 16 at 9PM –  Stars Michael Madsen (Reservoir Dogs, Kill Bill: I & II) and Rachel Hunter (The Benchwarmers). Piranhaconda is a production of New Horizons, directed by Jim Wynorski.

· Arachnoquake

Saturday, June 23 at 9PM – Starring Tracey Gold (Growing Pains),Bug Hall (The Little Rascals), Ethan Phillips (Star Trek: Voyager) and Edward Furlong (Terminator 2: Judgment Day). The movie is a production of Active Entertainment. Arachnoquake is directed by Griff Furst.

· Bigfoot

Saturday, June 30 at 9PM – Television legends Danny Bonaduce (The Partridge Family) and Barry Williams (The Brady Bunch), Howard Hesseman (Head of the Class), Sherilyn Fenn (Twin Peaks), Andre Royo (The Wire) and Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Alice Cooper (School’s Out) co-star in the movie, which is directed by Oscar and Emmy nominee Bruce Davison (X-Men). Bigfoot is a production of The Asylum.



Premieres Tuesday, July 10 at 8PM

Season 5 opens with two special back-to-back episodes, as Josh Gates and his team lead viewers on a chase into one of the world’s biggest caves in the jungles of Vietnam to search for Bigfoot. Then, at the overwhelming request of fans, they’ll travel to Romania for a return visit to the haunted Hoia Bachu Forest, the site of their most terrifying investigation to date, and then explore the reportedly haunted Mayan ruins of Tikal in pursuit of a monster known as the Belize Goblin.Destination Truth is executive produced by Brad Kuhlman for Ping Pong Productions (1000 Places to See Before You Die, Celebrity Rehab, FM Nation). Josh Gates and Erin Ryder serve as co-executive producers.

Premieres Tuesday, July 10 at 10PM

Paranormal Highway puts the pedal to the metal as Jack Osbourne and his friend Dana Workman do their own first-person investigations of the most frightening claims of paranormal activity along America’s remote back roads. Fueled by eyewitness interviews and evidence collected by Jack’s state-of-the-art equipment, he and Dana will travel alone, self-documenting their harrowing face-to-face encounters with the paranormal. Production company: BASE Productions. Executive producers: John Brenkus, Mickey Stern, Ron Ziskin.

Airs Monday, July 16 at 9PM

After five seasons, Syfy’s long-running original series comes to an end and the remarkable residents of Eureka say their goodbyes.  Eureka stars Colin Ferguson (Sheriff Jack Carter) Salli Richardson-Whitfield (Allison Blake), Joe Morton (Henry Deacon), Erica Cerra (Jo Lupo), Neil Grayston (Douglas Fargo) and Niall Matter (Zane Donovan). Co-creator Jaime Paglia and Bruce Miller are executive producers. The series is produced and distributed by Universal Cable Productions.

Premieres Monday, July 23 at 9PM

Season 4 kicks off with the Warehouse Team still reeling from the shocking events of the climactic season three finale. The Warehouse’s caretaker Artie Nielsen (Saul Rubinek) charges Pete Lattimer (Eddie McClintock), Myka Bering (Joanne Kelly) and Claudia Donovan (Allison Scagliotti) with chasing down reports of supernatural and paranormal activity in search of new objects to cache at the Warehouse, as well as helping him to control the Warehouse itself. Sam Huntington (Being Human) will be among the star-studded array of season 4 guest stars. Warehouse 13 is produced for Syfy by Universal Cable Productions. Jack Kenny (The Book of Daniel) is executive producer and showrunner.

Premieres Monday, July 23 at 10PM

In Syfy’s action-packed hit drama series, an unlikely team of ordinary people with superhuman physical and mental abilities – known as Alphas – takes on mysterious cases the CIA, FBI and Pentagon are unable to solve and go head-to-head with criminal Alphas. Season 2 picks up eight months after last year’s finale with the stage set for an explosive turn of events at the Binghamton facility

Alphas also stars Malik Yoba, Warren Christie, Azita Ghanizada, Ryan Cartwright and Laura Mennell. Erin Way (Detroit 187, Private Practice) joins the cast this season as “Kat” a mysterious young loner whose Alpha ability allows her to pick up any skill at a glance.  The series is produced by Universal Cable Productions and BermanBraun Television with executive producers Bruce Miller, Gail Berman, Lloyd Braun, Gene Stein and Zak Penn. Penn and co-executive producer Michael Karnow are series creators.



Premieres Wednesday, August 8 at 10PM

Using a mixture of intimate first-hand testimony, actual home video and gritty realistic drama, the hit series Paranormal Witness returns to transport viewers into a world turned upside-down by extraordinary, terrifying and sometimes life-threatening paranormal events. Paranormal Witness is produced by Raw TV (Locked Up Abroad and Gold Rush Alaska). Executive producers are Dimitri Doganis and Bart Layton.

Premieres Tuesday, August 21 at 9PM

Syfy’s hit competition reality series returns for season 3 with 12 aspiring special effects make-up artists and their unlimited imaginations, competing to create amazing works of living art. The eleven-episode season will feature some of the most difficult challenges ever attempted and high power special guest judges. It all culminates in one winner and one $100,000 grand prize that will launch a career.  Face Off is a production of Mission Control Media with Dwight D. Smith, Michael Agbabian and Derek Atherton serving as executive producers.

This summer season is looking to be jam-packed with an assortment of new shows, and the introduction of new “reality” competitions,memoirs, and true-experience shows. What do you think of the summer lineup, and what could you do without?

In commemoration of Quentin Tarantino’s 49th birthday yesterday, we bring to you a special “How it Should’ve Ended” of cult classic film Pulp Fiction. We get endings to the different stories in the film such as: Vincent Vega & Marsellus Wallace’s Wife, The Gold Watch, The Bonnie Situation, and Pumpkin & Honey Bunny. The changes in endings for all these stories do affect the overall storyline which includes the last story of ‘Pumkpin & Honey Bunny’.  I do agree with ‘HISHE’ in the respect that it would have been an added benefit to have this film’s differentiated endings is a bit longer.

Now with Pulp Fiction out of the way, the crew of “How it should’ve ended” should take a chance with Kill Bill Vol 1&2. What other Quentin Tarantino film would you have changed the ending and how?


It’s all fun and games until someone puts out an eye, chops off an hand, or lops off a head. Then it’s all sniveling, running to Mom, and the sting of Iodine. I’m not sure there’s enough Iodine on hand in the bathroom cabinet for the people in the movies listed below. That might take more than just a tube or two. Everyone likes the scenes in movies that shock or surprise you. The best of those scenes also throw in a little mutilation and limb flying action. It’s interesting to note that of the ten movies scenes listed below, only three of the ten, are concidered Horror movies.

You might notice that the list is not numbered and not in any real order. It’s a random listing of ten of the greatest scenes where someone is chopped, has a body part lopped, or removed with extreme prejudice. This NerdBastard is confident that you, the reader,  can arrange the scenes in order of your preferences and probably add a scene or two that escaped this NerdBastard’s feeble memory. That’s what the comments section is for isn’t it? Before you start drafting that comment to slice, dice, and eviscerate this writer’s humble attempt to amuse the masses, check out the scenes below. You can watch the videos by clicking on the highlighted links, isn’t technology wonderful?


Monty Python and the Holy GrailBlack Knight scene. This scene, hell this movie, is such a big part of many of our geek childhoods. One would be hard pressed to find a D&D player that has not said, “It’s only a flesh wound.” at least once while playing. Don’t even mention that we get FOUR limbs sliced and diced by Arthur in one great scene. When I was looking for this scene I have to admit that I ended up watching about half the movie before I got back to the article.



SawThe foot cutting scene. This might be the scene that most average movie goers think of first when thinking about limbs being chopped and or lopped off. The build up is fantastic, the music gripping, you just can’t look away, even when you want to. This is the Evil Dead 2 hand scene without the humor that made it bearable. Since we just mentioned it:


Evil Dead 2The Hand chop scene. Even considering the self fight scene from  Fight Club, this Evil Dead 2 scene is still the greatest self fight scene in the history of cinema. The mixture of humor and horror has never been done any better than in this scene with Ash fighting his own hand.


Reservoir DogsThe ear torture scene. When you get a moment look this scene up on YouTube  and check out how many re-shot, student /  film school videos this scene has inspired. The act of brutality is implied off screen making it even more horrible and the lightness of the accompanying music is a stroke of genius. The whole scene is chilling, not seeing the actual cuts makes you feel them even more.


HighlanderThe Death of Ramirez. This NerdBastard is not ashamed to admit tearing up the first time he watched this scene. The fight, the lightning storm, and the final beheading was great to watch, too bad they never made any other Highlander movies. I mean it wouldn’t be much of a Highlander movie without Ramirez in it and without his head Ramirez couldn’t come back, that would make NO SENSE WHAT SO EVER!


Dawn of the Dead 1970Helicopter vs Zombie scene. It’s an age old question, who wins in a helicopter versus Zombie fight. Dawn of the Dead is arguably the greatest Zombie movie ever made. I saw this movie before watching Night of the Living Dead. This was back when television played what it wanted to when it wanted to and you got lucky to catch a movie like this on some VHF late monster movie show. Now a days you young wipper snappers just go to the YouTube and watch what you want when you want. Crap, you made me pull out the old man rant.


Kill Bill 2The eye pluck scene. The entire movie is about Kiddo slicing and dicing her way through all her enemies to get to Bill. The Crazy 88’s scene must have at least 20 cut off limbs alone. The eye pluck rises to the top though as a body part removal with extreme prejudice. Watch Elle’s face just before while their swords are locked. See that smirk, Elle knows she is stronger and has the advantage as the situation stands. Beatrix knows it as well and changes the odds with the eye pluck, it worked before with the other eye years ago, why not now?


The Silence of the LambsHannibal escapes scene. Hannibal cuts off the face of one of the guards in order to wear it and escape. When The Office parodies the scene, you know it had to be good. Re-watching this scene was a treat. The classical music playing while Hannibal brutally beats and murders those guards with no expression on his face except a hint of superiority and smugness.


Conan the BarbarianThulsa Doom Death scene. This was the movie back in the day. Somebody should make a remake of this movie, ONE THAT DOESN”T SUCK BALLS!

Having your village destroyed – FREE.

Throw into slavery and trained as a gladiator – FREE.

Killing the man that destroyed your family with your father’s broken sword in front of his legion of followers – PRICELESS.

One has to admire that Conan went with a “V” cut instead of the traditional horizontal slice. The sheer barbarity of the two stokes makes it memorable. Conan hacks the head off then plays Plinko with it, oh you silly barbarian.


Star Wars: The Empire Strikes BackLuke’s Hand scene. Everyone knew this one was going to be on the list, how could it not be? This scene made me gasp in the theater, one of those rare “OH SHIT” moments that gets you and takes you right into the scene. The later revels that his father was Vadar and that his hand / arm had also been cut off just iced the cake for nerdy boys and girls. Now that I think about it, how many hands did get cut off in the series?




Think you can take a punch? Maybe you can, but then maybe you just think you can. The characters on today’s list have a proven track record of taking a beating and rising up to get beat on again and again. There will be blood, oh yes there will be blood. So read this list you little girly men and women, because you can’t take the punishment these characters take. Not and keep that wonderfully cheery Nerd Bastard disposition, but don’t worry, as the Black Knight is often quoted, “It’s only a flesh wound!”


Perla Haney-Jardine

[Editors Note: ‘Guess Who Monday’ is a weekly feature here at nerdbastards, where we challenge you to take a look at the latest, grown up, former child star and see if you can guess who they use to be. ]

There are a bunch of you pervy pedo fucks out there that look at young actress’s and try to innocently say “How old is she again? She looks older”, “Oh, I’m just saying she’s a pretty girl”, “Yeah…I mean, when she’s OLDER, she’ll be hot”.

Yeah right. You are disgusting, and you’re not fooling anyone. I don’t care if the age of consent laws throughout most of the world are 12-16, with USA being one of the only exceptions. You are one sick son of a bitch!

With that said, today’s ‘Guess Who’ actress was indeed a cute kid in her 2004 break-out role and she certainly is growing up fast.

Who is this adorable little lass? Well, I’ll give you a hint. Her fictional mother once took out 88 men (Well, there wasn’t really 88 of them.) and her daddy was not sadistic, but masochistic.

If you haven’t got it figured out then you really need to watch more movies. HIT THE JUMP for the reveal.


Famous Movie Quotes Becomes Art


Got a favorite movie quote? Ever thought of doing something with that quote? Well, Goran Patlejch (a.k.a. Goenetix) did and while they may be simple looking, they are all awesome in their own way. From Star Wars to Big Lebowski, to Matrix and Terminator, Patlejch used his art skills to showcase famous movie quotes. Check out after the jump to see more of Goenetix movie quote art and see if maybe your favorite quote is there. (more…)

Ambrosia Kelley

Guess Who Monday is a weekly feature here at nerdbastards where we challenge you to guess the latest known or lesser known child star of nerd pop culture from the days of yore (70’s, 80’s, 90’s), who have all grown up. Lets take a gentleman’s bet and see if you can figure out today’s ‘Guess Who’. Warning: we are not responsible for any shocked, appalled or arousing feelings which may incur.

What do you say about a girl who was born after I had already lost my virginity? In 1995? You say that in 3 years she’s gonna be totally dropping that laundry. Having turned into a smoking hot teenager, she was a VERY important person in film, and potentially? Could be an even MORE important young woman down the road. (more…)