Over the weekend nerds across the globe celebrated Star Wars Day on May 4th (as well as Free Comic Book Day) and many, I’m sure, marathoned either all six or only the original three of the trilogy. But, did your screening of Return of the Jedi include a special appearance by Luke Skywalker himself, Mark Hamill? I’m gonna go with no. Hamill surprised fans attending a special screening of Jedi at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood; the very theatre where the filmed premiered in 1983. Unsurprisingly, when Hamill answered questions from the audience the topic of Episode VII was broached.

Ain’t It Cool News was on hand and they’ve given an excellent rundown of the Q&A. First of all, he doesn’t know any specifics about Episode VII, but he shared he has had one meeting with Kathleen Kennedy, head of Lucasfilm, and they both agreed the new trilogy should have, “a more balanced approach to the effects,” meaning both CGI and practical effects. And apparently, this has also already been discussed with George Lucas.

Part of me is cautious, saying ‘let well enough alone, let everyone keep their nice memories if they have nice memories and don’t try to go back and do it again.’ But the other side of me, the adventerous side, thinks ‘If everyone’s in, how could I miss this?’

I’m one of you, I feel like you’re one of us. I’ll be in there fighting and trying to be as honest as I can be about what I think it is made these movies so special in the first place. It always starts with the script and that’s why I’m so encouraged by Michael Arndt‘s involvement because I respect his writing so much. He’s a big fan of these movies, so hopefully we can make something that doesn’t make everyone want to find us, cut off our heads and throw it right in our faces.

Hamill also confirmed Carrie Fisher is 100% involved, and that he’s heard Harrison Ford has signed on, too, but hasn’t spoken to him personally about it. He hasn’t yet met with J.J. Abrams, so technically, Hamill involvement isn’t set is stone, but I imagine it’s all but guaranteed. Speaking of what he’d like to see his involvement be Hamill said, “I want it to be age appropriate, so heavy on the Jedi mind tricks and lighten up on the lightsaber duels. Let the kids do the heavily lifting!” Which matches what most of us figured we’d get, Hamill filling that Ben Kenobi role.

AICN reports on a lot more, including Hamill discussing how Lucas had originally intended the saga to be 12 films, what he thinks of Jedi - “Really? A second Death Star? Really? That’s the plot?” – and his issues with Boba Fett’s exit from the series. Definitely worth your time checking out.

At this point, I feel confidant we’re going to see all three – Luke, Leia, and Han – appear in the Episode VII in some capacity. If they can manage to tone down the excessive CGI and include more practical effects I believe this trilogy will be the one to mend those wounds opened by the prequels. Though, I’m still leery about their plans for a new Star Wars film every year. What are you guys thinking?

Source: AICN via Geek Tyrant

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We’re gonna keep our views on the numerous 9/11 conspiracy theories to ourselves….But you gotta admit, when those same theories are applied to the destruction of the first Death Star, as Graham Putnam does in Luke’s Change: An Inside Job (a parody of the 9/11 conspiracy documentary: Loose Change), and when the event is looked at from the perspective of an Imperial citizen (who apparently has access to a LOT of classified information),  the whole thing DOES start to look kinda sketchy: A one-man fighter takes out a space station the size of a moon with a single shot, and the pilot just happens to be the son of that station’s commander, who just happens to be the only survivor of the station’s destruction?

It’s food for some very nerdy thought, but I have to admit, I was disappointed by several glaring mistakes you’d think anyone who’s a big enough SW fan to make a vid like this would avoid: Alderaan is mispronounced repeatedly, as is Corellian…Leia didn’t add Solo to her last name until she married Han (an EU storyline), Anakin built Threepio, but not Artoo….and, most annoying of all: the thermal exhaust port on the first Death Star was two METERS wide, not two feet.

I will grant that it’s possible these mistakes were made purposely for nerds like us to nitpick (just as I’m sure the average 9/11 conspiracy theory has more than a few factual errors), but I’ve personally never liked the “I’m Gonna Sound Like An Idiot To Make YOU Look Like A Bigger Idiot” school of comedy.

Anyway, here’s the vid: Watch it, and draw your own conclusions.

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I know, I know. It’s almost unimaginable that a young man in America could have reached the age of 23 without ever seeing The Empire Strikes Back or at least having the climactic revelation spoiled for them through one of a hundred parodies in pop culture. Honestly, I wonder if this guy was raised as a hermit, or maybe Amish. Seriously, how does one not know Darth Vader is Luke’s father!

Oops, should I have included a spoiler warning?

Watch below as this guy gives you his honest reaction to, “I am your father!” and stay through to the end for what he’d of done if he were Luke.

Source: The Mary Sue

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With Star Wars Episode VII potentially two years away, and that’s a generous assumption at this point, the rumors have only begun when it comes to what the story will be. We’ve heard everything from a whole new cast of adventurers to the continuing saga of the Solo/Skywalker brood. Well, speaking with ET Online during the press rounds for his flick Sushi Girl, now on DVD/Blu-ray, Mark Hamill may be able to shed a little more light on where Episode VII is going.

For starters, Hamill reveals, “They’re talking to us,” which isn’t an earth-shattering revelation, we’ve kind of already assumed they had. He continues,

George [Lucas] wanted to know whether we’d be interested. He did say that if we didn’t want to do it, they wouldn’t cast another actor in our parts – they would write us out. … I can tell you right away that we haven’t signed any contracts. We’re in the stage where they want us to go in and meet with Michael Arndt, who is the writer, and Kathleen Kennedy, who is going to run Lucasfilm. Both have had meetings set that were postponed — on their end, not mine. They’re more busy than I am.

The bit about only including those original characters if the original actors were to return is new, and welcomed news at that. Hamill, Carrie Fisher, and Harrison Ford‘s images are so closely associated with those characters it’d be almost impossible to recast, so I’m happy to hear they won’t be considering it.

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Besides wondering who would be chosen to direct Star Wars Episode VII – here’s a likely candidate, by the way – fans have been very curious about whether or not the original cast has been asked to return. And more importantly, would they be needed at all! We know Episode VII will take place after Return of the Jedi, but how long after? Will we be watching the continuing journey of Luke Skywalker or will it be another hero’s story? Whatever the tale, Entertainment Weekly is reporting Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, and Carrie Fisher are all open to make a return.

I know, your mind was just blown a little, wasn’t it?

The focus of their report is Ford’s willingness to return which is coming from an apparently very reliable, though unnamed, source. This source told EW Ford was not only,  ”open to the idea” of returning but that he’s ”upbeat about it.” Guess the hope is his return to the Star Wars universe will go over better than his return as Indiana Jones, amiright? Also confirmed by this source is the possible return of Hamill and Fisher, which isn’t surprising sine we know two of the first people George Lucas told about Episode VII were Hamill and Fisher.

While Ford is open to reprising Han Solo he does have a few conditions. Mainly that before he’d sign on he’d need to see a script, know who was directing, and possibly be written a juicy death scene. All of which I’m fine with, so Disney, just do it already!

I’m warming up to idea of an Episode VII more and more, and what I’d think would make an excellent story would be those three characters handing the reins of the franchise to newcomers. It would give fans a sense of legacy and transition that wasn’t afforded us with the prequels. What are you guys feeling? Do you want them to include as many of the original actors as possible? If so, what would you like to see Luke, Leia, and Han doing after all the years?

Source: /Film

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Mark Hamill will forever be Luke Skywalker, but he is also a noted character and voice actor (the Joker) with a long career, some strong opinions, and a wealth of information. During San Diego Comic-Con our Steven Sautter got a chance to participate in a roundtable interview with Mr. Hamill. These are Hamill’s rather moving thoughts on fans, the time he was told that he was impeeding the great Satan, Alec Guinness’ grouchiness, and the kind of in depth, informative type of interviews and talk shows people used to give — we hope this interview, which weighs in at nearly 2,000 words meets that criteria and we hope you read it all the way through as it is a thoroughly interesting look into the life of a true icon.

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It’s hard to believe that there’s still a standing set from the original Star Wars film shoot in 1976, but if you go out into the Tunisian desert you’ll find it: the Lars homestead; home of Luke Syywalker before Imperial Stormtroopers killed Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru and ransacked the place while he was out.

To this day, you can still head out to the corner of the middle and nowhere and see the still standing Lars homestead. Just like Mark Cox, a 35-year-old insurance worker from southeast England, did in 2010 when he married his wife Sarah there. But while the couple was in Tunisia, they noticed that the old Lars homestead was, what you might call, a fixer-upper, and they decided they would. Fixer-up that is.

“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life,” said Mark Cox. “But it was so humbling that people had trusted us with the money to do the work, and that they so wanted to help us.”

That money was the some $11,700 from 400 donors that Mark and Sarah raised through a Facebook page for two years. Their original plan was to go to Tunisia with a crew of six to repair and restore the old set last year, but their plans were postponed a year because of Arab Spring unrest in the country. The homesteaders were finally able to make the trip earlier this year and they got down to business.

“It’s just captivating – there’s nothing there,” Cox said. “It really feels like you are actually there in the film, and when you watch the sun set it is amazing.”

If any of this sounds intriguing, Cox says that their efforts were filmed for a possible documentary, and he himself is also thinking about penning a book about his experience. Profits from both endeavours will be fed back into the ongoing efforts to preserve the Star Wars set.

“Now that we’ve done the work, we hope people will be able to go there and have those memories again,” Cox said. “It’s been my moment of fame, and I’ve had so many messages of thanks since I got back.”

Source: Blastr

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Remember the old Marvel What If…? series? In this new video from Dorkly, the question as to what if Uncle Owen wasn’t actually killed by stormtroopers and the whole thing was a series of misunderstandings is answered, and the result is a series of unfortunate events… But why take my word for it? Cluck play below and see for yourself.

Source: Topless Robot

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!!!NSFW!!!

(Better safe than sorry)

Imagined, actual, and just joked about Star Wars porn parodies have long been a stable of the fan boy world consciousness, even making it into movies like “Zack and Miri Make a Porno.”

Just check out the *COUGH – COUGH* (totally not pirated) DVD table at the next convention you attend. Give the guy behind the booth a “Wink – Wink” and maybe a nod and he will probably be able to reach under the table and sell you a copy or two of Star Wars porn parodies. 

Vivid has just released it’s version of “Star Wars: A Porn Parody” to the world. Vivid has been making good use of parody laws to use copyrighted characters as the center of all our geek boy porno fantasies. Batman XXX, Spiderman XXX, and the Incredible Hulk XXX are just a few of the porn parodies that Vivid has produced. 

Time to get to the meat of the story. There are six sex scenes in the Star Wars XXX film.

Sex Scene One – Leia and Darth

Yeah, Vivid went there. No matter what anyone at Vivid or other reviewers say this is some twisted shit. Yes, the actor playing Darth is African American, but their feeble attempt to say that fact proves that Darth isn’t Liea’s father, couldn’t hold water if it was 20 degrees below freezing.   

Sex Scene Two – Obi Wan Kenobi and Tusken Raider

Ok, this does have a funny line from Obi Wan – “You don’t need that weapon… or your clothes.”

Sex Scene Three – Mos Eisley Cantina Girl / Girl Sex

Girl on girl, what else do I need to say.

Sex Scene Four – Mos Eisley Orgy

The stills from this scene show some really good makeup and prosthetics in the female Twill headpiece and the demon horned guy.

Sex scene Five – Wookie Sex

Chewie takes on two female Storm Troopers in the furry action all you sick NerdBastards have been writing fan fiction about for years.

Sex Scene Six – Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia and Han Solo Threesome

Back to the twisted shit. They just couldn’t end the movie without going to the brother – sister sex scene that all the fan boys will be all a twitter about, but that wasn’t enough, throw in Han in there too.

Besides the “Father – Daughter, Brother – Sister – and Freind” boondoggles the movie does have some fun quirks. Han still shoots first, the effects are better than most SyFy movies and although this NerdBastard didn’t find the Porkins jokes funny . . . at least the attempt was there.

Christopher Thorne over at Xcritic has a detailed review of the new Vivid Entertainment porn parody “Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody” with all the movie stills you could want to see. This NerdBastards favorite quote from Thorne is:

“At first the film feels like a full blown parody, the first few minutes feel more like Airplane meets Star Wars than a porn.”

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It’s all fun and games until someone puts out an eye, chops off an hand, or lops off a head. Then it’s all sniveling, running to Mom, and the sting of Iodine. I’m not sure there’s enough Iodine on hand in the bathroom cabinet for the people in the movies listed below. That might take more than just a tube or two. Everyone likes the scenes in movies that shock or surprise you. The best of those scenes also throw in a little mutilation and limb flying action. It’s interesting to note that of the ten movies scenes listed below, only three of the ten, are concidered Horror movies.

You might notice that the list is not numbered and not in any real order. It’s a random listing of ten of the greatest scenes where someone is chopped, has a body part lopped, or removed with extreme prejudice. This NerdBastard is confident that you, the reader,  can arrange the scenes in order of your preferences and probably add a scene or two that escaped this NerdBastard’s feeble memory. That’s what the comments section is for isn’t it? Before you start drafting that comment to slice, dice, and eviscerate this writer’s humble attempt to amuse the masses, check out the scenes below. You can watch the videos by clicking on the highlighted links, isn’t technology wonderful?

Monty Python and the Holy Grail – Black Knight scene. This scene, hell this movie, is such a big part of many of our geek childhoods. One would be hard pressed to find a D&D player that has not said, “It’s only a flesh wound.” at least once while playing. Don’t even mention that we get FOUR limbs sliced and diced by Arthur in one great scene. When I was looking for this scene I have to admit that I ended up watching about half the movie before I got back to the article.

Saw – The foot cutting scene. This might be the scene that most average movie goers think of first when thinking about limbs being chopped and or lopped off. The build up is fantastic, the music gripping, you just can’t look away, even when you want to. This is the Evil Dead 2 hand scene without the humor that made it bearable. Since we just mentioned it:

Evil Dead 2 – The Hand chop scene. Even considering the self fight scene from  Fight Club, this Evil Dead 2 scene is still the greatest self fight scene in the history of cinema. The mixture of humor and horror has never been done any better than in this scene with Ash fighting his own hand.

Reservoir Dogs – The ear torture scene. When you get a moment look this scene up on YouTube  and check out how many re-shot, student /  film school videos this scene has inspired. The act of brutality is implied off screen making it even more horrible and the lightness of the accompanying music is a stroke of genius. The whole scene is chilling, not seeing the actual cuts makes you feel them even more.

Highlander – The Death of Ramirez. This NerdBastard is not ashamed to admit tearing up the first time he watched this scene. The fight, the lightning storm, and the final beheading was great to watch, too bad they never made any other Highlander movies. I mean it wouldn’t be much of a Highlander movie without Ramirez in it and without his head Ramirez couldn’t come back, that would make NO SENSE WHAT SO EVER!

Dawn of the Dead 1970 – Helicopter vs Zombie scene. It’s an age old question, who wins in a helicopter versus Zombie fight. Dawn of the Dead is arguably the greatest Zombie movie ever made. I saw this movie before watching Night of the Living Dead. This was back when television played what it wanted to when it wanted to and you got lucky to catch a movie like this on some VHF late monster movie show. Now a days you young wipper snappers just go to the YouTube and watch what you want when you want. Crap, you made me pull out the old man rant.

Kill Bill 2 – The eye pluck scene. The entire movie is about Kiddo slicing and dicing her way through all her enemies to get to Bill. The Crazy 88′s scene must have at least 20 cut off limbs alone. The eye pluck rises to the top though as a body part removal with extreme prejudice. Watch Elle’s face just before while their swords are locked. See that smirk, Elle knows she is stronger and has the advantage as the situation stands. Beatrix knows it as well and changes the odds with the eye pluck, it worked before with the other eye years ago, why not now?

The Silence of the Lambs – Hannibal escapes scene. Hannibal cuts off the face of one of the guards in order to wear it and escape. When The Office parodies the scene, you know it had to be good. Re-watching this scene was a treat. The classical music playing while Hannibal brutally beats and murders those guards with no expression on his face except a hint of superiority and smugness.

Conan the Barbarian – Thulsa Doom Death scene. This was the movie back in the day. Somebody should make a remake of this movie, ONE THAT DOESN”T SUCK BALLS!

Having your village destroyed – FREE.

Throw into slavery and trained as a gladiator – FREE.

Killing the man that destroyed your family with your father’s broken sword in front of his legion of followers - PRICELESS.

One has to admire that Conan went with a “V” cut instead of the traditional horizontal slice. The sheer barbarity of the two stokes makes it memorable. Conan hacks the head off then plays Plinko with it, oh you silly barbarian.

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back – Luke’s Hand scene. Everyone knew this one was going to be on the list, how could it not be? This scene made me gasp in the theater, one of those rare “OH SHIT” moments that gets you and takes you right into the scene. The later revels that his father was Vadar and that his hand / arm had also been cut off just iced the cake for nerdy boys and girls. Now that I think about it, how many hands did get cut off in the series?

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