Michael Bay Must Be Stopped
There are certain pop culture creations that people shouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole, such as: The Nightmare Before Christmas, Super Mario, Star Wars, and so on; it seems that not everyone got the memo when it came The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. While some may see the last few antics of changing the Turtles into Aliens as a great “marketing tool”, a consensus of angry nerds would happily tell you that “marketing” is a bunch of malarcky. When Bay announced that the turtles we all know and love would be “from an alien race,” in his film adaptation of the TMNT franchise due to release in a year, made all involved across the board chime in.
From TMNT creators Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird, and various actors involved in the franchise in the past managed to get Bay and Liebesman feathers all ruffled with their immediate response being “take a breath, and chill.” Well, I guess you all should take his advice ’cause there is another set of rumors ready to be validated that are gonna make you made in every type of way. You ready?
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film adaptation, will supposedly be called Ninja Turtles, which means that the characters will not be teens and (blasphemy in 3…2..1) may not be pizza hungry fiends! Bleeding Cool has this to say on the title change:
“We haven’t been able to get a definite statement as to why this title change is occurring, and our sources are not 100% clear on whether or not the Turtles will indeed be adolescents. One of our sources has said: “It seems to be driven by marketing. Think of John Carter and how Disney wouldn’t allow for a title with either “Princess” or “Mars.”
Just to cast a friendly reminder, John Carter bombed in the box-office because of all the changes it made to a well known and iconic story line, so why is Michael Bay choosing to repeat an obviously proven mistake? Maybe ’cause he’s a fool, look at how long it took to get a decent Transformers movie out of that guy. Here is a simple and well proven saying that should be used in all situation like this: “If it ain’t broke. Don’t fix it.”
Ah jeez, are we really doing this?
So, way back in the day (yesterday) we were talking about the dude that voiced Michelangelo in the first live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie equating Michael Bay‘s alien reboot of the franchise akin to the sodomization of our inner child? Well, turns out some his former cast are totally into that.
TMZ, being the bastions of good taste and fine journalism are, all over this breaking story, digging up soundbites from anyone they can find, here’s the two they’ve dug up so far.
Remember Judith Hoag? (it’s ok if you don’t) She played ace reporter and yellow jumpsuit enthusiast April O’Neil and is a firm supporter of Bay’s vision. Granted, she does admit she’s might be a little bias. “I was in ‘Armageddon’ … which Michael directed … as well as ‘Nightmare On Elm Street’ and ‘I Am Number Four’ which he produced.” — Translation, I want to be in Bay’s new TMNT movie.
TMZ also grabbed Brian Tochi for comment. His resume includes not only being the voice of Leonardo in the first movie, but he also played there very non-stereotypical Asian nerd Takashi in Revenge of the Nerds. His opinion? “If Michael Bay wants to do a different take on the turtles origin story … Mazel Tov!”
While we patiently wait for TMZ to dig up the voice of splinter and a handful of stuntmen who played Foot Ninja’s, I do want to quietly put something out there that I saw on Facebook or in the comments from yesterday. What if what he meant by the whole alien thing is that the ooze is of alien origin and not the turtles themselves? (kudos to the commenter on that idea, btw).
Am I digging for something to cling to there? Yes, but so is TMZ.
Anyone got know Elias Koteas’ phone number? I’ve got something I want to ask him.
The award for this week in nerd rage has to go to Michael Bay, again. The internet still hasn’t cooled down after he recently announced his plans for the upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot. The wound is still fresh from his words, “These turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely loveable” …
Just typing that made me throw-up in my mouth a little. All across the internet the flames rage and the declaration that he is diddling our childhood again have been made over and over. Through all of this one very recognizable voice has cried out.
We have that voice after the jump.