Despite the rep of being nerdy by nerd standards, Star Trek Into Darkness director J.J. Abrams insists that the franchise has always been, and should always be, sexy. It’s not just about the science, or the action, or the socio/political allegory, Abrams says, it’s also about men being manly and girls looking fine. While talking to Playboy (apropos!), Abrams went on to explain his point in detail:
Star Trek has to be sexy. That’s in keeping with the original spirit of the series. In the 1960s they were limited because of the time, but so much was insinuated. Part of the fun of our first movie was playing with the idea that Uhura and Spock were a couple. This movie takes that further and asks how that’s possible. Why would she be interested in that kind of guy, and why would she put up with him? It’s obvious what he would like about her. I mean, it’s fucking Zoë Saldana.
And it’s always fun playing the womanizing card with Kirk and seeing him in bed with girls who might not be completely human—you know, green skin or whatever. Nobody’s going to force Kirk to be a romantic and settle down. That would feel forced and silly. Kirk’s a player. We like him that way.
We also have Alice Eve joining us; she’s an incredibly wonderful, versatile actress and definitely in the sexy category. She’s a great complement to Uhura. Hey, it wouldn’t be Star Trek if there weren’t some hot young actors, women and men, in various moments of either undress or flirtation.
You know, I think Abrams might be on to something. Let’s recap:
*Kirk: Ladies Man
*Starfleet uniforms for ladies: short skirts and go-go-boots
*Orion slave girls
*”The fan dance” in Final Frontier
*Anything Deanna Troi wore on the first 5.5 seasons of TNG
*The invention of Risa, a planet so totally dedicated to hedonism they have a statue you can carry around if you’re looking to get laid.
*Dax on DS9
*Seven of Nine on Voyager
*The decontamination chamber on Enterprise…
And that’s just off the top of my head. Huh. So there you go.
For the foreseeable future there is one man the nerds of the world better be paying fuckin’ homage to: J.J. Abrams. He has so much of what we hold dear in his hands! We must keep the Abrams pleased with us, otherwise he’ll ruin both Star Trek and Star Wars!
All right, it’s likely not all that dire. Abrams has already proven he can make a film almost universally applauded with his 2009 Star Trek. And from what we’ve seen and heard of Star Trek Into Darkness he’s about to do it again. Now, as long as he manages a Star Wars film better than Episodes I-III he’ll surpass being a nerd icon and become a nerd legend. Can he do it?
Playboy recently chatted with the director and lord and master of two of science fiction’s pinnacle series about what he has in mind for Star Wars Episode VII, and how his involvement in the galaxy far, far away effects his obligations to the Federation.
PLAYBOY: Nothing matters more to moviegoers than the stories and characters from Star Wars. In your wildest, geekiest fantasies, did you ever imagine yourself helming the two biggest sci-fi franchises in the universe?
ABRAMS: It is preposterous. Ridiculous. Completely insane. It really is.
PLAYBOY: Star Wars and Star Trek are church and state in Hollywood. Can you really be loyal to both? Star Trek fans cried out on Twitter that you were cheating on them.
ABRAMS: I mean, I get it. The worlds are vastly different. Honestly, that was why I passed on Star Wars to begin with. I couldn’t imagine doing both. But when I said that my loyalty was to Star Trek I was literally working on finishing this cut. I couldn’t even entertain another thought. It was like being on the most beautiful beach in the world and someone saying, “There’s this amazing mountain over here. Come take a look.” I couldn’t balance the two, so I passed on Star Wars.
‘Course, we know Abrams eventually relented and agreed to direct Episode VII. Hit the jump to learn what changed his mind.
!!!HOLY ORIGIN STORY BATMAN!!!
Michonne is one of the most popular characters in The Walking Dead comic. The first appearance of this master swords-woman usually go for a premium to collectors on eBay, and Michonne is one of the top characters that get the forum boards burning.
Michonne’s upcoming arrival on The Walking Dead TV show is a massive forum talking point by itself. Her origin, when told, was expected to be a big seller, with trade paperback waiters expected to stop waiting and pick up the monthly comic issue when it happens.
???Could anyone have expected this???
The origin of Michonne will be told by Robert Kirkman and Charlie Adlard in six pages in next week’s issue of Playboy.
This is an incredible marketing coup for Playboy. This won’t just sell to regular readers of Playboy. Just imagine the number of comics fans, comic speculators, television show fans, and others that should increase sales making this issue of Playboy easily outsell the Lohan issue.
!!!But Mom, I want it for the comics . . . really!!!
Nerdy Bits: A Very, Merry Gauntlet Christmas,The Worst ‘Star Wars’ Cosplay, Garfunkel & Oates’ “Scary F**ked Up Christmas”, Another Crazy ‘Skyrim’ Glitch & MOAR!
Every day the internet produces an astounding amount of goodies and gems. Most hilarious, some amusing, but all worth at least a few seconds of your time. We here at Nerd Bastards try to bring you the best bits of news and nerdery the webz has to offer, with a bit of snark thrown in. But sometimes not everything makes the cut.
Monday through Friday we’ll be bringing you our inbox leftovers, our forgotten bookmarks, the nerdy bits that simply slipped through the cracks. You can submit items to Nerdy Bits by emailing us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
This is a most brilliant video of a Christmas dinner invaded by pixellated ghouls and demons, which had to be slayed, 1980s Gauntlet style. Remember, do not shoot food, later on, you’ll need it, badly. (The Mary Sue)
Sean Bean is a total badass. He kicked a lot of Orc ass in The Fellowship of the Ring as son of Gondor, Boromir. He’s also recently been seen in HBO’s Game of Thrones where he kicked a lot of ass, figuratively, in the royal court. Now in his real life, he’s kickin’ even more ass.
This passed Sunday, Sean Bean was out at bar with lady friend and former Playboy model, April Summers. Yep, a complete badass like Sean Bean hangs out at bars with Playboy models thirty years his junior. While there some jackass thought it’d be a good idea to make lewd comments about Ms. Summers. Bean confronted the man who then then fled, I can only assume, with his tail between his legs and smelling of urine.
Later on while outside smoking a cig, Bean was attacked, punched in the eye and stabbed in the arm with broken glass. While there’s no mention of what happened to his attacker (he’s most likely dead and will never be heard of or missed), Bean re-entered the bar and ordered another drink, refusing an ambulance and continuing to enjoy the rest of his evening with Ms. Summer, like a badass.
Lesson learned, don’t fuck with Sean Bean. No matter what you do to appear like a tough man it will in no way ruin Sean Bean’s evening. Shiner, glass shards in the arm, it doesn’t matter. And you’ll most likely be dead.
HELL YEAH!! The Dream comes back after almost 20 years of scandal. “The Pee-wee Herman Show,” opening next month in downtown Los Angeles at Club Nokia theater. With 11 actors, 20 puppets and Mr. Paul Reubens back in the saddle as Pee Wee, I want you to scream when I say “It’s About Fucking Time” AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
In this months Playboy Pee Wee got the Huge interview spread and finally opened up after all these years.
On his public masturbation charge: In the event of a trial (which never happened), an expert researcher was going to testify he’d never seen a person masturbate with a nondominant hand. “I’m right-handed, and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand. That would have been the end of the case right there, proof it couldn’t have been me.”
The most disturbing thing about this entire article is the pics of him as his a nearly 60 year old man!! He has remained almost entirely the same for all these years, he was born in 1952! The article is astounding for anyone who was a fan of Pee-Wee. Right here is all the info on his return to the stage! For only a 10-week run, I gotta be the first in line!! Here’ some show info, click on the Link in the paragraph to find tickets!!!;
Big, bold and uniquely fabulous, The Pee-wee Herman Show is a stage play with music that reunites Pee-wee (the one-and-only Paul Reubens) with the beloved Playhouse gang – Miss Yvonne, Mailman Mike, Cowboy Curtis, Jambi the Genie, Pterri, Conky, Chairry and many more! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see Pee-wee’s Playhouse come to wacky, unpredictable life!
You, dear readers, are crazy. No, seriously. You search for batshit-insane things and somehow decide that heading to Nerdbastards instead a poop-porn site is the best course of action. I have a dirty mind, but goodness, you guys frighten me. (more…)
So. After all the hype. Al the waiting. All the jokes. This months Playboy came out with Marge Simpson posing naked in it, and let me tell you….What.A.Disappointment. This had to have been one of the biggest deals to cartoon NB’s since Lara Croft posed naked for video game geeks! With the propaganda pouring over us like chloroform overa beautiful young lass, everyone was hyped and ready. When my mag showed up (Black label Society style), I eagerly tore into it…For the articles of course..And saw to my dismay that the Victoria’s Secret model Alina Puscau was gracing the cover..Was I ill informed? Was it next months issue? No. Sadly on the side bar was an ad for “The Devil In Marge Simpson”, named cheekily, i think, after the old 70’s porn title. So I flipped it open and FOUND!!!!…..Nothing. Nothing but 1 picture. 1!!! Only 1 fucken picture!! It didn’t even show us if Marge was a natural Indigo…
Anyway, see for yourself and tell me if you’re a tad disappointed or thrilled. (more…)
Do you remember The Adventures Of Pippi Longstocking? I was infatuated with Tami Erin, the girl who played her when I was nine. She was around 12 or 13 at the time and was a tall and gawky looking redhead. Well Milk does a body good! This girl has grown up to be a BOMBSHELL! I don’t know why she hasn’t gotten more work lately, but all I can say is TIME FOR PLAYBOY!! Why not? It rejuvenates lots of careers and I think I, among other boys who grew up with her film and that adictingly annoying theme song would be glad to pay the cover price for a little skin.
Right now, I am calling out Playboy Enterprises with my massive following and huge fanbase, time for a movement to get this girl to drop her laundry. She may bathe fully dressed to do laundry at the same time as wash, but for a couple hundred C-notes? She would be honored.
If Tami happens to see this, I can be emailed for an interview…Or a date…Even my wife would allow this one.