A Handy Guide To Superhero Porn Parodies

- 12-23-11Comics, Featured, Film, WTF? Posted by Jeremy R! Hudson

A small confession before we start. When I began researching this article I wanted to write a guide to geek based porn parodies  as a whole. A full top down view of the XXX/nerd landscape. After a few hours of I came upon the realization that there is a lot of porn out there. A LOT. There is also a large section of it that caters (or tries to) to the nerdy palate. From interview/gonzo style with ‘real’ gamer girls (Geek Girls: The Gamers) to the obvious fantasy/D&D styled (This Ain’t Conan The Barbarian XXX 3D). Hell the sitcom parodies alone number near if not over 100. They have even made porn parodies of cartoons, non-animated mind you. Family Guy, The Simpsons, American Dad. The vast amount of nerd porn out there is staggering, I just about googled ‘calculus porn’ for crying out loud. It must be out there, somewhere.

I had to narrow the sample size and specialize or I would spend the next 2 years of my life watching porn 24 hours a day. I would, mind you, since I care that deeply for you wonderful readers out there, but I have a day job.

So, with 3 companies locking up the superhero porn market (NSFW links: Vivid Superhero, Extreme Comixxx, and bluebirdfilms.) I grabbed a dozen titles that seemed to cover the basics of the superhero porn sub-genre. Covering all the big names, Batman, Superman, Iron Man. I will watch them all in no particular order and see what comes out. I worded that bad, I mean watch them with a comic nerds eye and see how the darker side of this 3 colour icons turns out.

I also realize that I can talk to much about the porn side of these movies. Not out of some high morale stance or fear that I might harm your delicate sensibilities, more so the fact that it’s going to get really boring, real quick if I do. These are dirty movies, with people doing dirty things to other people, and then roll over and doing something else dirty to someone else in the room. Take that as a given. The clips that I used are SFW, but… they are still from porn. There are sounds. People in at your workplace will hear those sounds a look at you oddly in the lunch room, if your comfortable with that, good.

Let’s begin.

(more…)

First ‘Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody’ Trailer Promises a Hilarious ‘Star Wars’ Comedy, Sex Not Included

- 08-10-11Film, Funny Videos Posted by Sarah Moran

Porn parodies are the not only the future on the porn industry, but obviously the future of parody. Trailer after SFW trailer demonstrates not only can they be really frickin’ funny but the people writing these movies are giant geeks who’ve wanted to make a Star Wars movie for years. With fucking.

Check out this completely safe for work trailer for Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody and try and tell you me wouldn’t watch the shit out of  this hilarious spin on the original Star Wars flick.

There will be an option available to watch it as a sex free version, y’know, without the cum shots and the Han/Leia/Luke twincest three-way, if that’s not your style. But, you now what, sometimes the sex scenes are even funnier than the intended comedy, just sayin’.

Award-winning director Axel Braun and Vivid Entertainment are proud to present the first glimpse into the most anticipated adult movie of the year: STAR WARS XXX: A PORN PARODY. May the farce be with you!

Available on DVD September 2011

source: Bleeding Cool

Watch the SAFE FOR WORK Trailer for Star Trek: The Next Generation: A XXX Parody

- 04-14-11Film Posted by Luke Gallagher

http://i0.wp.com/www.nsdspress.com/__PublicRelations/sheets/StarTrekTNGAXXXParody.jpg?resize=266%2C371

“Anal sex.. the final frontier. To boldly go where no one has gone before.” OK, I couldn’t resist the obvious play on the Star Trek prime directive (Space.. the final frontier.. these are the voyages of the U.S.S Enterprise… blah, blah, blah. You know the rest.) when having to talk about the upcoming Star Trek: TNG porn.

Star Trek pr0n? Yes, indeed. The adult industries prime directive is to parody pop culture. With the avenue being the industries latest success (It’s like the only way they make money anymore.). Oh god, there is so many titles. On the heels of the wildly successful “Batman XXX: A Porn Parody” we got “The Sex Files: A Dark XXX parody”, “TRU: A XXX Parody” (of HBO’s True Blood), “This Ain’t Avatar XXX” and many more. We even got a Star Wars, Superman, Wonder Woman, Avengers, Spider-man, Thor, Incredible Hulk and Captain America in the works. I’m basically saying that Star Trek didn’t have a chance in evading the ‘Klingon Bird of Prey’ that is the Porn industry.

Is it worth checking out? Well, part of the interest and appeal of all these parodies is the high production value and eye to detail in capturing the source material. They go as far as hiring TV show costume designers and set builders to re-create that recognizable aesthetic. In Star Trek: The Next Generation: A XXX Parody, made by Revolution X and Digital Sin, they’re tossing in every polyester uniform, cardboard set, and horrible fucking wigs imaginable. Just like the show! Does it live up to that naughty “lost episode” you imagined it would be?

In my opinion, YES. Yes it does. While I haven’t seen the flick in it’s entirety, the official SFW trailer has just been released and judging by the preview, it’s fan-fiction come to life. It’s a convincing representation. The costumes. The sets. Even the story almost takes this out of the parody genre and instead places it in a believable alternate Star Trek universe. Where Picard and the crew do porn. Which totally could have happened in the real show. Q, would’ve have flipped his fingers sooner or later. Point is, Gene Roddenberry would nod his head in approval… if you know what I mean.

Check out the trailer below and let us know what you think.

On a distant planet, Data discovers the body of Lt. Tasha Yar, a former crew-member thought to be dead. While some of the crew are happy to see their lost comrade, others remain skeptical of her intentions. The appearance of a Romulan Warbird increases panic, and the Enterprise finds itself under attack from outside and within. Impending danger evokes lustful desires, as the crew turns to each other for comfort. Data and Tasha Yar rekindle their old flame, Troi and Riker put the Holodeck to use, and Captain Picard and Dr. Crusher finally have their moment of passion.

The pitch-perfect cast includes: April O’Neil (Counselor Troi), Rocco Reed (Cmdr. Riker), Dana DeArmond (Ensign Ro), Kimberly Kane (Dr. Crusher), India Summer (Tasha Yar), Tyler Knight (Geordi La Forge), Bobbi Starr (Dr. Leah Brahms), Xander Corvus (Lt. Cmdr. Data), Lee Bang (Lt. Worf) and Tim Cannon (security officer). In addition, a mainstream Patrick Stewart double named Giles was cast to play Captain Picard.

Digital Sin and Revolution X’s Star Trek: The Next Generation, A XXX Parody will be released on May 5th. Will you ‘engage’?

Trailer for Justice League XXX – Ron Jeremy as The Penguin… The Role He Was Born to Play

- 02-24-11Film, Funny Videos Posted by Luke Gallagher

JLA-w-logo

Someone got sex in my comics! Someone got comics in my sex! (Edit comment) Yes, they’ve gone and done it again, those naughty superheroes. For years comic fans have waited for a Justice League movie and those porn merchants have gotten there first.

Our friends from io9.com got their hands (which I will not shake for fear of a venereal disease) on the -SAFE FOR WORK- trailer of Extreme Comixxx’s Justice League XXX Parody. “Overseen by Superman, The Justice League is made up of the world’s most powerful super heroes. Chronicling their battle against evil, as well as their need to release some sexual tension“. The trailer doesn’t show much. A team meeting, which shows an 8-1 c*ck ratio (never realized what a sausage fest the Justice League was until now). Followed by a few boring 1 second poses from a handful of characters.

The cast [includes] Chanel Preston (Wonder Woman), Rocco Reed (Superman), Evan Stone (Batman), Scott Lyons (Robin), Barry Scott (Flash), Talin (Green Lantern), Bill Bailey (Aquaman).  Additionally, the movie features: Aurora Snow (Cat Woman), Tom Byron (Lex Luthor), Jenna Presley (Lois Lane), Ron Jeremy (Penguin), Andy San Dimas (Mob Boss), Amber Rayne (Harley Quinn), Kristina Rose (Zatanna), and Tommy Gunn (the General).

2011 and some people still buy porn? Well, Ron Jeremy as the Penguin is fucking inspired. The man was born for the role. He has more waddles on his d*ck then under his chin. And, the amount of seamen jokes that will come from Aquaman will be outrageous. Lets not forget about Harley Quinn. That will be one nerd fantasy fulfilled. I am so buying this.

DC and Warner Bros need to take this moment of sheer humiliation and turn it into a moment of introspective. If we don’t move our asses and make these movies, someone else will, and it may not be the way we want it.

Super Mario Pr0n – You Sick Nerdbastards

- 02-14-11Funny Videos, WTF? Posted by Mark Poynter

http://i2.wp.com/hard-toons.net/xxx-mario-bros/hentai-cartoon-xxx-porn/pic-hentai-sex-toon-01.jpg?resize=300%2C261

First off I have to burst your hopeful little Nerdbastard heart, and tell you that this is NOT a trailer for an upcoming Porn parody of Mario Brothers.  This is the comedic genius of a group that calls themselves Dr. Coolsex.  Dr. Coolsex is a sketch comedy group in NYC that focuses on sketch comedy, Super Mario series, interactive adventures, parodies, music videos, and MORE!  They are Alex Charak, Dustin Drury, and Greg Murtha.  Just plug in some real sex scenes and you’d have a pretty professional porn movie.

Super Mario and the gang star in this faux porn trailer. Cast includes Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, Princess Daisy, Toad, Toadette, Waluigi, Wario, Donkey Kong, Yoshi, and Bowser!

So this is from a comedy group and is not a real Porn Parody . . . YET.  I give them about a month before some Porn industry professional rips it off and makes their own Mario World Porn Parody.  So if “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,” is “Porn Imitation” of an imitation, the greatest form of fluffery?

We should all get used to the idea that the Porn Industry is hanging by a thread financially.  The Internet, which was fueled early on by the porn industry has now made Porn so plentiful and free that there is little to no money to be made.  Don’t get me wrong, someone is still making money on Porn on the Internet, just not the film makers of today.

The thin legal line that Parody affords the Porn industry is going to mean that they generate as much Porn Parody of any title out there, no matter how crazy, until the money train that is Porn Parody collides with copyright law in the near future.

source: buzzfeed

OK, So We’re Gettin’ A ‘Reservoir Dogs’ Porno…That’s Awesome, Right?

- 12-31-10Film Posted by Luke Gallagher

[Editors Note: I’ve written 3 paragraphs more than I needed to. So, in short- There will be a Reservoir Dogs porn. That is all.]

Us nerdbastards sure love porn. We love it like a fat guy likes cake. Now, when pornos make their way into the nerd medium by parodying pop culture with titles like Batman: A XXX Parody, The Sex Files, This Ain’t Avatar XXX that just makes us shoot massive, white, ropey wads of nerd splooge (Enough to give Spider-Man a run for his money.).  Some naysayers are complaining that there is just too many goddamn titles coming out. Ya got a Hulk parody, Avengers, Justice League, Superman, Wonder Woman, Star Wars…etc. Could it be becoming too much of a good thing? Too much porn? Never! Never, I tell you!

Adding to the library of greatest porno ideas ever comes (I’m throwing the word “come” around an awful lot) a parody to rule them all. AVN reports [link definitely not safe for work] that Exquisite Films, the same company that just did a porno Justice League film, is working on an “upscale, mature parody of Quentin Tarantino’s cult classic. Reservoir Dogs” Yes my horny nerd brethren a motha fuckin’ Reservoir Dogs porno will be in our grasps. If you’re like “Wha? Why is that a good idea?” may we remind you of the very raunchy dick talk in the films opening sequence? That dialog alone is reason to grant the idea of a Reservoir Dogs porn. After the first ten minutes, why watch the rest of the movie? Just think of the hilarity that will ensue when they go to porno-fy certain sequences in the film. Like what gets cut off, if not an ear? How are they gonna handle that? Do we even want to know…lol? Mr. Orange bleeding all over the back seat of Mr. White’s car also comes to mind.

Now, here’s the kicker. This son’ bitch is planned to be 3 hours long. I guess when you try to make a sex flick out of 99-minutes of dialogue then it’s run time is unavoidable, that is if you wish to capture the story and essence of the flick. But, 3 hours? Motha’ fuck, I can’t make it passed 30 minutes in any porn. Fuck, I’m lucky if I get passed 30 seconds (those quick, flashy trailers of other porn titles do me in every time.).

That cast includes Chanel Preston as Ms. Orange, Andy San Dimas as Ms White, Lizzy Borden as Ms. Blonde, Kimberly Kane as Ms. Pink and Raylene as Nice Girl Eddie.

It’s on my illegally download wish list.

source: slashfilm

LEXINGTON STEELE TO PLAY DARTH VADER IN ‘STAR WARS XXX: A PORN PARODY’

- 08-04-10Film, WTF? Posted by Luke Gallagher

star-wars-xxx

Vivid Entertainment the makers of Batman XXX have their next porn parody all lined up in: Star Wars. They’ve already cast porn legend Lexington Steele in the role of Darth Vader. Uh, wait a minute….there’s going to be a Star Wars porn parody? WTF? When did this happen or when is it going to happen? How can it happen? Oh man, George Lucas is gonna sue somebody.

I can’t really say I’m surprised to hear about this. In fact, I really can’t believe they had not thought of making one sooner considering the number of successful porn parodies (The Sex Files: a XXX parody, Brauns Batman: XXX Parody, Golden Girls… you get the idea) . Granted Star Wars is an obvious choice to spoof, but still.  How exactly is it legal for a company like Vivid to take the image of a recognizable, copy written character and essentially profit from the brand without getting lynched by George Lucas’s lawyer clone army? I dunno and I really don’t think they can. Yes, porn parodies are in the plenty, but this is different. This is Star Wars. There is no way LucasFilm will allow Vivid to snake it’s way around whatever loose copyright laws the porn industry has. Christ, if I even think about putting a picture up on the Internet of dookie I took that resembles Darth Vader, George Lucas would have me sent to some rebel concentration camp. So, I’m fairly confident Vivid Entertainment is going to encounter quite a few un-passable road blocks. Though, if in the off chance it does get made do you think Han will shoot first?

Now, who’s Lexington Steel? He’s a fairly prominent African American pornographic actor. You might remember him from such classic porn films as Freak Whoes and Flows, Night Stick Black, I Love it Black and the ever so popular Black Butthole Stretchers. All titles that have been nerd tested and bastard approved…by me. Lex is fairly well known for having…. oh, how shall we put it?…a purple light-saber that would make Mace Windu jealous.

From the press release:

Darth Vader may be one of pop culture’s most recognized figures.  Acclaimed actor James Earl Jonesfamously provided the voice of the character and Dave Prowse played the role in costume. Together they created an unforgettable impression of intergalactic evil.

Steele is a multi-dimensional actor/businessman who was the first adult star to win Male Performer of the Year three years in a row along with dozens of other national and international awards. He is a graduate of Syracuse University and was a stockbroker before becoming an actor in the adult industry.

“Axel was totally determined to get Lex for the Vader role, he never even considered anyone else.” saidSteven Hirsch, founder/co-chairman of Vivid. “We’re all happy that he was available and excited about playing this iconic character.”

1