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Qui-Gon Jinn

Today Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace returns to theatres in its brand new, 3D release. Episode I is the first of the Star Wars film saga to be re-released in 3D, with the following episodes to be released one per year. This is to the frustration of most Star Wars fans, myself included, who must wait until 2015 to get to the really good movies.

But I’m over such frustrations. I’m over being an angry nerd who gets waaaaay too pissed off about the guy who made the damn movies constantly changing them. The stress can’t be good for me. I need to learn to accept things and not let it get in the way of my love for the Wars.

That’s why when I sat in the theatre last night at midnight, with a substantial crowd for the movie considered to be the worst of all Star Wars movies, I made the commitment to look for the good in The Phantom Menace.

Here are five things about Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace that are, actually, pretty cool.

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Liam Neeson…Worst.Mentor. Ever.

Liam Neeson has made a career of playing memorable mentors, as well as Aslan the Jesus -esque Lion from Narnia. It has occured to me that in ANY movie he happens to be a mentor in…He just isn’t that good at what he does. Wise and enlightening? Yes. Proficient? Not quite. Here are some examples of Liam’s epic FAIL at being a warrior, in the same style of his wife’s epic fail as a skier….That was even too soon for me. I apologize, but will not delete it. (more…)

Liam Neeson is a wonderful actor. As the voice of Aslan in Narnia, Godfried of Ebylin in Kingdom of Heaven. Even training Bruce Wayne everything he knows in Batman Begins, he dominates everything he touches as teacher and leader…So it strikes me as quite drop fuck hilarious that he actually is the worst Jedi ever. Scratch that, worst Jedi Knight ever! He couldn’t feel or sense the mixed emotions or feelings in Anakin? His Metaclorian count ( He taught us that the Force wasn’t just an energy field surrounding all living things, but basically an STD that is genetic and is in your blood like a kingdom of sea monkeys) was so off the charts, that it could only bring balance to the Force…Not totally decimate it…Also Qui-Gon’s fault. This video shows just a brief ,but extremely thought provoking verdict that will leave you beyond a shadow of a doubt that Qui-Gon was the Anna Nicole Smith of Jedis.

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