So, who is Warner Bros. going to cast to replace Angus Jones on CBS’ long time ratings juggernaut Two and a Half Men?
Less than two years after former star Charlie Sheen went through his tiger blood infused meltdown and left the show, the nineteen year old Jones — who has been on the series since he was 10 — has publicly blasted the sitcom, calling it filth and begging people to not watch it, something I’ve said numerous times in deference to my lord and savior: good taste.
Jones delivered these remarks and so much more in a series of heavily edited YouTube videos that were released by The Forerunner (aka Christopher Hudson), who Jones calls “a man of God” and who Jones’ mother worries may be a part of a cult that has her son in it’s clutches. To be fair, people said the same thing about Casey Affleck when he was filming Joaquin Phoenix’ downfall too.
So who is The Forerunner? Apparently he is a televangelist and a member of the Seventh Day Adventist Church who likes to quote the bible, toss out conspiracy theories about Barack Obama and Jay-Z, and solicit donations.
How young Mr. Jones came to find The Forerunner is a mystery, but to say that he has had an effect on young millionaire would be an understatement.
So, what else did Jones have to say? Well, for one thing, he thinks black people are pretty great. He also took the time to tell us about the wretched life he had been living as an 18 year old TV star — a life that included hanging out with his friends, listening to music, playing video games, and smoking the pot.
Jones also did acid, but all that changed when — as he was brainstorming designs for a tee shirt — he found God, which felt like “being hugged by your most favorite person ever, but they’re able to hug every single part of your being.” To be fair, some have said acid feels the same way, but they’re all going to hell, so you shouldn’t listen to them.
Jones also took time out from that horrible job where he makes $350k an episode to Tebow (really) and talk about a friend of his whose family has struggled to keep his house even while Jones wasted his copious cash reserves on musical equipment and hopefully things that are more exciting than that. No word on if Jones did the Christian thing and actually helped his friend out or if that revelation was reward enough. Also, the friend was possessed by God or Zuul at one point.
My favorite part of the video came at the end though, when Jones wrapped up this little kamikaze career move by saying: “The name of the game right now is compromise, meet in the middle to get things done. That’s the name of the game right now and according to the Bible, when that happens, we’re no longer standing for anything. We’re no longer on the side of the truth.” He then said “We need to pick our side” and “You need to be 100% or nothing” before The Forerunner offered him praise, saying that Jones had: “Taken his stand on the right. He’s walked away from it.”
I assume Jones then left his trailer and went to go film some more dick jokes.
Poor Chuck Lorre.
And thud. The prophet Angus has violated his minty fresh principles, releasing a statement praising the vendors of sin that he works with over at Two and a Half Men just after his former co-star and religious adviser Charlie Sheen called the show “cursed”. Here’s the statement, as written by Satin or a thoroughly pissed off PR flack:
I have been the subject of much discussion, speculation and commentary over the past 24 hours. While I cannot address everything that has been said or right every misstatement or misunderstanding, there is one thing I want to make clear.
Without qualification, I am grateful to and have the highest regard and respect for all of the wonderful people on Two and Half Men with whom I have worked and over the past 10 years who have become an extension of my family.
Chuck Lorre, Peter Roth and many others at Warner Bros. and CBS are responsible for what has been one of the most significant experiences in my life to date. I thank them for the opportunity they have given and continue to give me and the help and guidance I have and expect to continue to receive from them.
I also want all of the crew and cast on our show to know how much I personally care for them and appreciate their support, guidance and love over the years. I grew up around them and know that the time they spent with me was in many instances more than with their own families. I learned life lessons from so many of them and will never forget how much positive impact they have had on my life.
I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference to and disrespect of my colleagues and a lack of appreciation of the extraordinary opportunity of which I have been blessed. I never intended that.
If the Jedi can have a church, why not Batman? What’s that you say? Star Wars has the Force. Yeah, but Batman can bring down some pretty heavy force, just ask the Joker.
Leading the charge in Batmanism is the humorous and entertaining man in the Dark Knight cowl preaching Batmanism to the masses. Using his amazing knowledge of Batman comics and movies as his scripture, the Gotham Street Preacher went forth into the streets of Birmingham, England to convert the unfaithful to the Church of The Batman.
There is a lot of fertile ground in the Church of The Batman.
Who needs loafs and fishes when you can just reach into your utility belt and draw forth whatever you need no matter what the situation?
Batman sacrificed his only sidekick . . .
What other Batmanisms can you come up with? Let us hear your best in the comments section below.
Another day, another case of extremist wackos flying off the handle with religious indignation. Here’s the story:
This past Wednesday Grant Morrison‘s Action Comics #1 was released. Upon reading issue, the owner of a North Carolina comic shop was horrified when he discovered Superman seemingly cursing the lords name.
As seen in the panel above, supes is shouting “GD”. The over sensitive, religious, dillweed (you’ll read why he’s a dilweed in a minute) assumed the letters “GD” were short for “God Damn”. On this assumption, he was naturally offended, horrified even. Apparently, god forbids super heroes using his name in vein. Taking this as a sign of Grant Morrison shitting in his holy cereal, the shop owner took his thoughts to Facebook and began a Morrison boycott.
In addition to the boycott, the store owner also referred to Morrison as a “Scottish schmuck”.
I think we all know that under the holiest of holies you’re never supposed to use the lords name in vein. IF Superman had done such a thing, I would say this devout man would have just cause for being upset. It would be in his right to exercise a boycott material offending his beliefs. Then again, bashing the writer, calling him a “Scottish schmuck” isn’t very Christian of him. Anyway, Superman did nothing of the sort.
On DCU’s site, The Source, Morrison Morrison responded to the allegation:
“It should go without saying that the offending panel and caption, a mere ‘GD’, is a sound effect grunt—to suggest Superman’s breath being forced through gritted teeth—much like ‘DHH’, ‘GNUHH’ or the many others used throughout this book and in general in the comics business. It’s not in any way representative of God or a curse.”
There you have it, some hyper sensitive religious dude having a knee jerk reaction to a sound effect. GD, what an idiot. Nothing better than anger BEFORE understanding.
A nerd is someone who is “passionately obsessed with something”. Like board games, movies, video games, porn, and books.
… Hey, the Bible counts as a book! Book stores sell it — hell, even dollar stores carry it.
There isn’t much else to say other than that this video is a shockingly accurate portrayal of why religious nutjobs people are the extreme nerds ever — so extreme, it’s dangerous. It’s pretty fuckin’ hilarious; anything I’d have to say would be just me quoting the entire thing and nobody wants that.
So check it out for yourselves and be enlightened:
(Post by nerdbastards contributor Nick Bungay- Twitter @NickBungay)
“A movie is a sermon with pictures”. He’s back ladies and gentlemen and guess what? Not only is Avatar “Satan”, but Twilight is the “Anti-Christ”. Yes, the super-hip Seattle pastor Mark Driscoll is at it again and this time he’s after the sparkling vampires of the Twilight series. A fundamentalist bashing a book is nothing new, it’s been down since well before any of us was born. Really, the more well-versed in narrative device and metaphor you become, the more a strictly literal interpretation of the bible starts to seem like a less-good idea. Now it’s time to branch out, expand the “message” if you will. Over the course of this ten minute video Pastor Driscoll (I love his shirt) explains that “Satan can write” and mixing jokes with his preaching ways might change a person’s insights on what they should be reading.
Don’t get me wrong, the guy is about as funny as amateur night at a comedy club, but he throws a good zinger in or two. Particularly when referencing the teen wet dreams that are Edward, Bella, and Jacob as “the beast, the false prophet, and Anti-Christ.” (print those shirts now: Team Anti-Christ). While his “ranting” contains humor in which solidify his statement, he does have some valid points. For one, as a crazy individual, dead people don’t talk.
That means you’re consulting with dead people!. It’s about sorcery, witchcraft, divination, wicca…dead people! You know what? Dead people don’t talk to you!”
Oh snap!, looks like we have a genius on our hands folks. Seriously, dead people talking, that’s ridiculous. Duh, only living people, snakes and burning bushes do.
Using the dead as a walking billboard to hell must be having it’s effect though. With all the Twilight merchandise flying off the shelves every month, it looks like a lot of people are following the path of the “Anti-Christ”. Start burning those books and those shirts now and maybe you’ll save yourself from a very hot, very sparkly future.
In Mother Russia, you don’t worship a cartoon character, cartoon character worship you! Okay, so I suck at jokes. Can we move on? Anyway, it seems that a group of people, who kind of love Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers a little too much have formed a religion based around one of the characters. Gadget Hackwrench, yes the hot mouse (c’mon, who didn’t think she was hot), is being worshiped for her smarts and skills.
Well, believe it or not, a group of Russian fans of Gadget Hackwrench have created a new religion, with the above mentioned cartoon character as the idol. They pray to posters of her, gather to talk about how incredibly great she is, compose songs about her, and spread stickers of Miss Hackwrench, wherever they go. It’s pretty unbelievable, but if Maradona has his own cult, why couldn’t Gadget Hackwrench?
Here’s what some of her worshipers think of their rodent goddess: “She is the divine being, the most untouched and perfect sibling of the great God on Earth”. “Why I love her? It’s a stupid question, how could I not love the Goddess?”. “She is strict, cute, optimistic and her level of technical knowledge is unachievable for a mortal being.
So yeah, more power to them for finding some sort of hope in life but I think they could have found some one else better to worship as a deity. Personally, I would probably join the church of Sonic the Hedgehog if there was one. Or one about the Power Rangers where each person gets their own Morphing Buckler and have Alpha playing the organ. What? I can dream can’t I.
With last months release of the HeartGold and SoulSilver remakes, the announcement of the fifth gen Pokemon series, Pokemon Black and White (which will probably go through a name change of Shadow and Light), and the announcement of Ash and Pikachu not appearing in Pokemon Black and White anime, you gotta say Pokemon is still going strong for 14 years.
Pokemon is well known and it has long already set its place in nerd culture for its games, cards, anime, and countless of merchandise. Like anything popular, it deals with problems which lead to controversies. Some of these you may know and some of these may be news to you. So, after the jump, check out what Pokemon had to deal with in the last 14 years. (more…)
Got some good old Catholic (or Jewish, or Baptist, or whatever) guilt about running over all those innocent pedestrians in GTA, but no time to go to church and beg for forgiveness? Xbox feels your pain!
Mediabistrosays that in December, you can rock out with Matthew, Mark, Luke and John (no, not the Beatles, dipshits) as you read the Holman Christian Standard Bible via your Xbox 360. Check out “Bible Navigator X” and for just $5, you can absolve your sins, treat leprosy and get tips on how to be … er… defeat the AntiChrist. If that’s not enough God for you, you can always put some Jars of Clay on in the background as you confess your virtual sins (macking on that hot avatar again?) before finding more zombie Nazis to kill.