retro

Love the 80s? Who doesn’t! But what’s even better than the 80s? The 80s nostalgia merchandise! Heavily pixelated graphics, pop culture references, and the ability to transport you back in time to the 1980s where you can feel like a kid again! On Kickstarter, with 12 days left as of this article, Retro Gaming Cards! gives you just that. The feel of retro gaming with the 80s aesthetic and subtle pop culture references. A great game for friends and family who don’t want to learn a lot of complicated rules. Open the box, sit down, and start having fun with Retro Gaming Cards!

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Just about everyone growing up in the 1990s who had an NES will be happy to learn that some of CAPCOM’s greatest games of the era based on some Disney classics are getting a remake and re-release! Disney Afternoon featured two hours of beloved Disney characters all tied to the same shared universe. Darkwing Duck, Talespin, DuckTales, and Chip n Dale Rescue Rangers entertained kids (and let’s face it, plenty of adults) every afternoon. CAPCOM had the task of turning these beloved products into video games, and now they are coming back for an entirely new generation of fans.

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Jurassic World Retro

We’re living in what is likely the peak age of reboots, remakes, rehashes, reimaginings, and every other “re” you can think of that would mean original ideas are taking a back seat to bringing old stories back to life.  In the ultimate switcheroo, then, it’s always fun to see what movies made today might have been like if they had created “back in the day.”  Thanks to one avid YouTuber, we can now get a glimpse at a “retro-ified” version of this year’s top-grossing movie, Jurassic World.

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If you were a kid growing up in the 90’s (such as yours truly), Nickelodeon’s new line of programming will be bringing back all the feels.  It’s called “The Splat”, and, through it, all the classic shows like Hey Arnold, Kenan & Kel, and Rugrats are coming back; not only to television, but through social media platforms and its own website as well.  The Splat is pulling out all the stops, by plunging viewers right back into the 90’s with programming stunts featuring retro gems like Nick or Treat, U-Pick, and Super Toy Run.  It boasts recreations of the original 90’s era programming, with original promos and interstitials that bring back sorely missed characters such as the Doo-wop Dinosaurs and the Opera Lady. (more…)

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Apparently there’s breaking casting news from the set of the planned Point Break remake (I know: Half of you are saying “What?”, while the rest are asking yourselves “Why?”).

So I’ll back up a little: Yes–a remake of 1991’s action-packed cheesefest starring Patrick Swayze, Keanu Reeves, and Gary Busey is indeed a thing, and is set to begin filming this fall, despite the necessity of recasting one of it’s stars–more after the parachute jump:  (more…)

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Fans of 90s and 80s retro have much to celebrate today: Jerry Seinfeld has informed Variety that a long-rumored Seinfeld “reunion” (in a sense, at least) is indeed coming soon. Meanwhile, hot on the heels of their team ups on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and a Superbowl ad for Dannon Oikos yogurt, the boys from Full House seem to be primed for some manner of reunion themselves.  (more…)

The other night, whilst sitting alone on my couch, I found myself watching TV on a television (I’m a classicist) as an ad for a three day rock festival popped up. Bamboozlefest, just an hour long drive away from my door and boasting a lineup that featured The Foo Fighters, Bon Jovi, and a handful of other rock groups whose names I can’t remember, appealed to me, causing me to openly ponder exploring the possibility of maybe per chance getting tickets for exactly 38 seconds until a I heard a voice, a voice I hadn’t heard before. Well, that’s not entirely true — it was my voice, but older and creepily whispering in my ear — “You’d die” it said, “you’d be that guy, dead body airlifted out after the festival ends, a sharpie drawn dick on your forehead with used up rubbers and cups scattered all around you.”

Now, that’s a grim picture, but it is oh so true — I couldn’t survive a three day outdoor rock festival because I can’t subsist on bottles of 5 Hour Energy, shrooms, and the un-exasperatable energy that comes with youth. The point is, it seems like I’ve reached my expiration as a capably active fanboy because I’m very, very near 30 now and I am bewildered and sleepy. Call me when Blues Traveler comes to play the local amphitheater, see The Dark Knight Rises without me, I’ll wait 2 weeks and avoid the rush.

See, I can no longer run with the bulls at Comic Con — fuck waiting 17 hours for a panel, fuck spending thousands of dollars to go cross country in an effort to see 1 thing out of the 500 that appeals to me only to return home with only disappointment and a plague.

On the air since 1993.

I don’t want to sleep in a car to save on a hotel room, I want a fucking bed, a TV with Conan on it, and a nightstand for my C-PAP machine. I don’t want to go to a midnight screening, I mean I do, but I’m not going to because it is way past my bedtime and it’ll throw off my carefully constructed day and my iron clad sleep cycle.

I also don’t want to make new friends, no one can be in my life anymore if they do flashmobs and cosplay as obscure Anime characters — my friends are old, tired, and bitchy too, and while some of them still think the things I described above are romantic, and they speak with a want to run from the limitations of their evolving true preferences, they are lying to themselves as I was. This is Nerdom at 30, and I’m too old for this shit.

I know all of this now and suddenly I accept the suck of stifled adventures and I’m ready to hate everything that is new and everyone who champions those things, my eyes rolling more times than they blink when you talk to me about how Channing Tatum really unlocked the emotional complexity of Duke in GI Joe.

I’ll tell you another thing, you know those old assholes who wax poetic about how great shit used to be? I think I’ve been gradually arriving at that point, a point where I can organically loathe thanks to what I perceive to be the rancid downturn in the quality of nearly all things. I think I’m becoming one of them and I think you will too one day, because as much as we want to pretend that it’ll never happen to us, we all turn into these “let me tell you how good it used to be” people talking about the good old days because those things were our first nerd love and nothing can compare to them and that time.

This was the movie icon I grew up with, enjoy your Labeouf.

Back then we didn’t suffocate the celebrities and stars that we “love”, demanding an unceasing feed into their lives while suffocating them to the point that they expire or go mad from the lack of oxygen. Once upon a time movies were magical and not stymied by endless sequels and big plastic glasses that sit on our faces so we can see a hand come out at us to reach into our pockets.

Things could be smart and popular at the same time way back when, cartoons had soul, and action figures were cheap. Back then music was made by humans who played instruments, and comics were made with words, not endless splash pages and the sole purpose of leading readers to buy the next crappy tie-in book that links to 8 other un-related books.

You were required to have an imagination and technology didn’t enslave us. Books were printed, and everyone had an opinion and nobody had an outlet, so our atmosphere wasn’t clogged up by worthless bullshit like this article. I’ll tell you another thing, SNL didn’t suck, In Living Color, Kids in the Hall, and The State were all on there air and there was meriment to be had. We also didn’t need video game systems to serve as life replacements, simulating exercise and interactions — Sega Genesis was the motherfucking righteous truth and it was the only truth we needed.

Video game perfection. No hookers or rocket launchers required.

The funny thing is, the things that I loathe now, things like the Gaga, whatever Ke-Dollar Sign-Ha is and pop music, another Diablo sequel, reality TV, and nearly everything Marvel and DC have put out in the last 7 years — these are someone else’s future first loves, their soon-to-be good old days that they will one day cherish above everything current while my twatishness and the things I love fade from memory. Glee is someone else’s Kids Incorporated. Stewie is someone’s Bart Simpson. That’s amazing, the way that time just keeps ticking and dirt keeps getting put on the old idea of what amazing is.

It’s just too bad that those people will be fucking wrong, because OG Thundercats is the greatest thing of all time, no actor will ever touch Bill Murray in The Ghostbusters, Alan Moore’s pen will forever cause lesser writers to quiver and leak their shorts, The Beastie Boys are un-surpass-able*, and I still prefer Michael Keaton above all other Batmen. And do not even get me started on Star Wars trilogy preferences, because I’ve met people who prefer Revenge of the Sith to Return of the Jedi and I wish them tossed down into the clutches of a horny and hungry Rancor monster . This is my anti-social new lifestyle, my nerdom at 30, goodbye gentle fanboyishness, hello bitchy grown-assed-fanmandom.

*= This was written before the sad passing of Adam Yauch. RIP MCA

Are the Thundercats No More? (Update)

 

Thundercats, Thundercats, Thundercats… no. Despite generally positive reviews and moderate ratings success, Cartoon Network released it’s coming lineup in advance of it’s upfront presentation sans Lion-O and the other Thundercats. In addition to that, according to Topless Robot, Bandai had no new products to show from their Thundercats toy line at Toy Fair, another sign that the show may have used up the last of it’s 9 lives.

What’s replacing the Third Earth felines? Among other things, a new live-action half-hour long sketch show with Nick Cannon. I don’t know about you, but I just did a sort of dry heave, full body shiver after reading that.

We’ve made an attempt to reach out to Cartoon Network in an effort to get confirmation of the Thundercats‘ demise, but Space Ghost seemed to be in a withholding mood when I spoke with him earlier, still, check back for updates and also to give us repeat hits… *maniacal laugh* *maniacal laugh*

Update: Apparently I spent too much time honing my maniacal laugh skills, and not enough time checking Cartoon Network’s Saturday Morning lineup. Thundercats LIVES! Every Saturday at 9:30 AM on Cartoon Network. The second season began on March 24th, this according to the network.

I screwed up, flat and simple. Many, many sites ran with this story and in the ghetto of internet journalism, that is usually enough. I and many, many others followed the smoke, not the fire. I apologize.

Source: Topless Robot via Toy News International

 

The Interwebz is a great place for nerdy art and the like. A lot of the time it’s crazy things like Winnie the Pooh with his hand in the honey pot (nudge nudge) or even that incident between Princess Leia and Jabba the Hutt (and all while Salacious Crumb was forced to watch, too). Hey, it’s the internet folks. Luckily there is always the counter balance of some mind blowing nerd based art. We collect it, you enjoy it, and we are all better for it.

ABOVE: He’s just looking for a little love ladies, is that so bad? All this prince turned furry beast wants is a good woman that doesn’t mind that he sheds. He even comes with a heart-shaped balloon, instant chick magnet.  [UFC Chick]

Hit the jump for a Breaking Bad/Batman mash-up, Disney princesses getting violent, Wesley Crusher and MOAR!
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