A second trailer for the new CG animated Nickelodeon series Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has hit the interwebz. Go ahead and jump to the video below. I’m just going to sit here and sarcastically whirl my noise maker and blow on my kazoo.

I dunno about you, but I am completely pessimistic about this TMNT reboot. It looks so bad! Literally. The character design is completely ridiculous looking. Since when do the turtles have elephantiasis feet? I know they’re supposed to fight “The Foot”, but this is a bit too literal. Oh, and the animation? Gawd! It looks so disgustingly cheap. I know a couple of kids at my mother in-laws daycare center who could do better with a box of broken crayons and book of Post-its.

I will say, though, the personalities of each turtle and over-all wackyness seem to be serviceable.  To that degree, I guess if the main aspect are there, the horrid art design and N64 type graphics can be overlooked. Right?

Bah! Forget it. I have no faith. This looks horrible and I’m not just saying that because I’m a fan of the old cartoon, but because it looks like shit.  I do, though, miss the good old days of the TMNT cartoon, both 80′s and new version where it was slightly more like the comic-book. God bless those days.

Here’s the synopsis:

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are a fictional team of four human/turtle hybrids, who were trained by their human/rat hybrid sensei in the art of ninjutsu and named after four Renaissance artists. From their home in the storm sewers of New York City, they battle petty criminals, evil megalomaniacs, and alien invaders, all while remaining isolated from society at large.

The show is set to be released this fall and features the voices of Jason Biggs as Leonardo, Sean Astin as Raphael, Greg Cipes as Michelangelo, and Rob Paulsen as Donatello.

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Just when we all thought that Micheal Bay was a safe distance from that dreaded Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot, he comes crawling back from the sewers. While the project itself continues to be held back (thank God), a copy of the Bay-produced script made its way to Latino-Review’s El Mayimbe and he released news that somehow went unnoticed for nearly an entire month!

How we ever managed to miss something like this remains a mystery, but according to El Mayimbe’s Twitter this version of TMNT written by Josh Appelbaum and Andre Nemec…

…makes up for Micheal’s name being attached to something held so dear to us older nerds, right? Well if that last tweet made up for all the disappointment you were expecting then this next one may possibly blow your mind:

No Tokka, no Rahzar and no Vanilla Ice, but Bebop & Rocksteady, the mutated henchmen of Shredder. Just those two names alone makes this nerd want to see the movie. But keep in mind that this is the script rumored to be part of the reason the entire production was halted. So while we wait to be disappointed in the next few years we can always look forward to watching Nickelodeon‘s new animated version of our friends and their “turtle power” this September. Check out all the details in the jump.
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Empire magazine is marking the tenth anniversary of The Lord of the Rings with a look back with the cast and crew. The article is described as:

The new issue is more bursting with revelry and nostalgia than a Friday night at the Prancing Pony. There’s tall tales – well, tallish tales – memories; behind-the-scenes pics from Aragorn himself, Viggo Mortensen; Oscar night reflections from Ian McKellen, Peter Jackson and Mortensen; and rarely-seen concept art.

Best of all, though, is a gathering of the four hobbits themselves: Elijah Wood (Frodo), Sean Astin (Samwise Gamgee), Billy Boyd (Pippin) and Dominic Monaghan (Merry). It was so momentous it called for its own trailer – and here it is for your perusal pleasure. Sadly the Nazgûl got stuck in LA traffic. 

The December issue comes out this Thursday and looks to be a fun read. Check out the promo video put together to promote the issue, it’s a hoot. What question would you want one of the hobbits to answer if given the chance?

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The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It was a beloved early 90′s cartoon, which spawned a hugely successful toy-line (Ace Duck was my favorite) and string of live-action movies. The first of which is, in my opinion, one of the most underrated super hero flicks of all time. Anyway, the property kicked back up again in the early 2000′s, with another cartoon, new toys and a less than stellar CGI movie. The updated version grabbed the attention of a newer younger audience, while also appeasing fans of the original series. Alas, like it did in the 90′s, the franchise fizzled out.

But, you can’t keep a good turtle down!

If you haven’t heard, TMNT is being relaunched, yet again. A new movie is in development at Paramount and Platinum Dunes (Josh Appelbaum and Andre Nemec were just hired to rewrite it) and Nickelodeon will air a new animated show starting in the fall of 2012. Now we’ve got the voice cast for the quartet. Sean Astin will voice red-masked, sai-wielding Raphael, and he reveals that Rob Paulsen, who voiced Raphael in the original ’90s animated series, will voice Donatello. Jason Biggs will be Leonardo (Purely to stick his dick in a pizza, I’m sure), and Greg Cipes (Ben 10) is Michelangelo.

In addition to those bits of info, Sean Astin told EW,

These people who are doing [the new show], man, they are so fired up. They know they have something that people love, and that they’re getting a different crack at it. The producers recognize how much the fans of Ninja Turtles expect from the new show. With the new show, you’ll have one of two reactions: People will be fired up and excited, or people will be really skeptical. And the people who are fired up, you don’t want to disappoint them. And the people who are skeptical, you want to turn them.

He also says the characters will have less of an exaggerated SoCal surfer accent:

I don’t think it’s [adopts a perfect 'Bill and Ted' impression] “Dude, how you doin’, dude!” It’s just not quite as intense. A little bit more refined. They’ve got a slightly better education, maybe. More refined chemicals.

OK, that’s all well and nice, but explain to me why the turtles have elephantitis feet? Seriously, did the mutagen give them cancer of the rear flippers, GAWD! Regardless of the bizarre design choices of the turtles, I am cautiously optimistic for the series. We got another year or so until we can get a full assessment. Time will tell.

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It seems like yesterday I was saying that they had just released the final weapon in the long line of Lord of the Rings replicas, so why shouldn’t they make a liar out of me? The only Hobbit worth his weight in Lembas Bread who could wield a blade and take out a couple of orcs, has just gotten his own replica. Samwise Gamgee’s sword was given to him by Aragorn to protect Frodo from well…Everything. There are two available, a mirror polished and a movie quality museum version…This link has the best deals as well as variety right here. Check it out!

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