sex

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We came back! This time on… THIS PODCAST, Jeremy and Jason let a storm of wild and erotic comedy overtake them as they deliver all the hits with none of the filler. Honestly, I don’t know how you made it through without us but *finger to face* shh shh, it’s okay now. Let’s talk about Dan Aykroyd‘s idea to explore the mythology of the Ghostbusters one shard at a time. Let’s talk about stolen Batmobiles and Ben Affleck‘s feels. Lets talk about sex, baby. Fat guy sex, that is. Let’s put a black hamburger in our mouths and taste the squid juice goodness. Let us be adventurers together on the dope wave that is the internet, bro.

Other things that we will touch on during the show… (more…)

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Hello prospective listener, thank you for your interest in the RadioBastard Podcast. Do you like big damn monsters, PTSD Predator, bad descriptions of Marvel movies, Trekking the shit out of the stars and the delicate embrace of technology? Fantastic, because we’re talking all about those things and more on RadioBastard!
Also, do you like details? You’re in luck! Here’s something close to that… sort of! On the show this week, Jeremy and Jason discuss: (more…)

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Good morning and welcome to Wake Up BastardCast! This morning, we’re talking to soap opera actor Duncan Dour about love scenes and crying in prison. Also, Kitty and Skot monkey arang with primate expert Ellis Geren and resident medium Tammy O’Neil communicates with dead confederate soldiers who want to confess their atrocities for a shot out of limbo. (more…)

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This week, a new episode of The BastardCast is racing toward you like Justin Bieber in a Lambo! That’s right, like an atomic rat on a Russian ghost ship, we’re goona gnaw your face off with comedy! You will witness Batman’s secret shame. You will learn the terrible truth behind the Stan Lee/George Lucas connection. You will judge Jason and Jeremy poorly since they are making most of this up as they go along. (more…)

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They say that the laughter of a child is the world’s greatest sound so Jeremy and Jason finally sent out an invite to perpetual bratty teenager AJ Wiley and his legal guardian/handler/pimp Paul Smith from the Gobbledygeek Podcast and they suspiciously accepted. Come for the dinosaur donkey punch, stay for the inhumane sleep deprivation and madness cackles because we recorded for 7 hours till the crack of dawn and this is the best 75 minutes of it. On the show we… (more…)

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This week on The Bastardcast, Jeremy and Jason talk about Grumpy Cat the cinema film, the chances that Dan Harmon will supplant Moses, the cost/benefit analysis of seeing a movie solely for Starbuck side-boob, and the uselessness of time capsules.

Also on the show: Fans call in to make Jeremy eat strange things he finds in his office, Jason juggles a set of flaming balls, and the fella’s both discuss the Xbox One and learn that lying is wrong.

Then, Jason uses up his remaining 20 seconds of Doctor Who rant time to talk about racism in the Whoverse… quickly, and in Trailergasm, the boys celebrate the Taco Time cross-promotion with Machete Kills and the death of innocence with Planes.

You require more sustenance? Fine, grab a straw and suck because we’ve got Whoopi Goldberg riding a dinosaur into the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise, concerns about a new race of sex crazed lady folk, the Kickstarter of Porn (Melissa Joan Hart, there is still hope for you!) and the guys loved Arrested Development and want to tell you all about it.

All that and the death of a beloved character for no reason at all on The Bastardcast!

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The Bastardcast, sprinkles make everything better!

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This week on The Bastardcast: Jason and Jeremy return from their tour of Yo Momma to talk about the big drama surrounding a little bit of peen in Saga #12, a Game of Thrones fan’s Craigslist enabled sexy time fantasy, and world renowned sugar-tit enthusiast Mel Gibson’s possible directorial return for The Expendables vs. The Macabees: A Time Travel Adventure, aka Expendables 3.

Also on the show: Would you have sex with a robot? 9% of you would according to a new poll and apparently 50% of our adventurous hosts would as well. So, yeah, we’ll be dedicating some time to discuss Cylon banging.

We’ll also tackle the sale Shatner’s phaser, the return of Carrie Kelley to Batman comics, the departure of Microsoft’s former creative director and chief gamer pisser off-er, the sacrificial lamb that is Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Warner Bros. big DC movie plans, TV’s favorite couple (TEAM KADEEM!), and Jeremy and Jason try to figure out why Jodie Foster is rocking a smart pantsuit 140 years into the future in the somewhat District 9-y Elysium trailer.

All that and a lyrical ode to Axel Rose’ bulge on… The Bastardcast.

rangerThe Bastardcast: Nucking Futs and horrendously bad at spelling.

Editorial: Jumping the Gunn

If someone writes something on the internet and nobody notices it for almost 2 years, does it really make an impact?

This is the question we all (yes, all) find ourselves asking in the wake of the James Gunn/Superhero sex scandal that is ROCKING the internet (Am I overselling it a little?), the world (Or a lot?), and the galaxy (see what I did there?).

In case you haven’t heard, James Gunn  the director of Slither and Super and the man tabbed by Marvel to write and helm the Guardians of the Galaxy movie — has raised the ire of some with his musings about sex and superheroes.

In the post, Gunn calls Gambit a “cajun fruit”, talks about the supposed thrill of seeing oneself ejaculate into the Invisible Woman, mentions that he hopes Iron Man can “turn” the lesbian character Batwoman, and discusses a host of other graphic sex acts he’d like to perform (or not perform) on a wide array of comic book characters.

Published on February 17, 2011 on Gunn’s personal blog in response to the results of a poll on his Facebook and Twitter, Gunn’s “The 50 Superheroes You Most Want to Have Sex With” lived in near obscurity until a few Tumblr users and Mary Sue writer Susana Polo found it and called attention to some of Gunn’s remarks. Here’s her article.

Modok was not ranked…

What did Gunn do in response? Well, he hasn’t said anything yet, but he totally used internet magic to make the article disappear. Magic that was combated by Polo, who posted the Google cache copy of the article that Lady Geek Girl found.

Naturally, the contents of Gunn’s treatise and Polo’s article have lit a fire across the internet sky.

The venerable Hollywood Reporter has reported on the matter, as has the not-so-venerable Huffington Post and nearly everyone else.

In an effort to get Gunn tossed from Guardians, a petition has popped up and on the other end of the spectrum, many have come to Gunn’s defense, including Bad Ass Digest chief Devin Faraci, who said on Twitter:

“We can have a discussion about ‘is that funny,’ but the Mary Sue article is coming from the assumption Gunn’s list was straight-faced.” later adding: “the article author is straight up ignorant. It’s pathetic – she didn’t do ANY research at all.” in response to someone saying that the Mary Sue writer was unfamiliar with Gunn’s “MO” and that he has a “crass sense of humor.”

Despite his last name, HitFix editor Drew McWeeny was also unafraid to enter into this debate about sex and superheroes and I am a child. Here’s what McWeeney said:

“Hey, guys, I don’t want to speak out of turn, but I have a sneaking suspicion that James Gunn, who is writing and directing “Guardians Of The Galaxy” for Marvel, likes really, really dirty jokes.” McWeeny later added: “If you’ve seen “Slither,” then I think you’ve got the basic idea, which is that there is no line James Gunn is unafraid to cross for no other reason that It amuses him.”

McWeeny’s full article can be found here, and here’s the link to the justifiably lauded Tumblr post by Dark Horse Editor Rachel Edidin on this whole mess. I swear to God I am not trying to set some sort of hyperlink world record by the way, sourcing is just my jam.

Now, I’ve seen Slither, the PG Porn shorts, Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead remake that Gunn wrote, and other things that he’s done. I’ve also read some of his blog posts and the list in question and I take three things away from it:

Number 1: This list is PAINFULLY unfunny.

Number 2: It comes off like it was written by a very sexually immature person who has some issues with how he regards women.

Number 3: For what Gunn is to us, I don’t know that his ideals matter.

James Gunn is a writer and a director. He also seems like a slight pig, but these two things don’t really have to intersect. Everyone has an ugliness within them, and maybe this is his. Frankly, we judge people in the public eye as if we are sizing them up to be our soulmates and it just isn’t necessary.

All I want out of this guy is a movie, an enjoyable and fantastic two hours that justifies the cost of admission and the expense of my time. As long as he can keep a lid on his chauvinism and keep it out of the finished product (a product that would go through many filters before getting to us), his views really don’t affect me.

I’m not going to trot out a bit of shiny new homophobia in an effort to over-compensate and get chuckles and I’m also not going to de-value women or over-sexualize them because James Gunn did so in a blog post 21 months ago. I know some fear that others may, but I’m not willing to assign that much power to the words of the artist who gave us the Scooby Doo movies.

So if it doesn’t affect us, why do we care? I assume it’s because in some cases, being offended understandably boils down to anger.

Some people don’t like the remarks that Gunn made (obviously you can put me on that list) and they want him to be punished for those remarks (not that list). They want there to be a cost for thinking in a way that is contrary to the way that they think and the way that society deems acceptable. Really, this is pig-shaming in response to “slut-shaming”.

Now, I don’t agree that Gunn should be thrown off the picture and punished like an out-of-line child, but I’m not going to grouse about it if it happens because I understand that Disney knows how to count and they know how to gauge public sentiment.

All this may seem unfair if this was just a joke or a piece of shitty satire, but this is a free market society, meaning if you supply the world with stuff like this, eventually demand for your work is bound to suffer.

That’s the reality of this situation and a reminder that one should always think before they speak or type — especially when they have the ambition to be more than a self-amused blogger.

Update: For whatever it is worth, Mr. Gunn has apologized.

 

For all the acclaim Game of Thrones has received for being a sensational drama, full of spectacle, there’s one element everyone remarks on: the nudity and sex. If you’ve read George R.R Martin‘s novels you’ll know these are not chaste tales, but being books most of the kinky stuff is left to the imagination. Not so with the TV series. It’s all there and now we know why.

Director Neil Marshall, the man responsible for that epic “Blackwater” episode, recently spoke to ScreenCrush about what it’s like working for HBO. As you know, they’re tagline is ,”It’s not TV, it’s HBO,” which should really be changed too, “We’re not basic cable, bring on the titties!” Marshall explains,

The weirdest part [of directing Game of Thrones] was when you have one of the exec producers leaning over your shoulder, going, ‘You can go full frontal, you know. This is television, you can do whatever you want! And do it! I urge you to do it!’ So I was like, ‘Okay, well, you’re the boss.'”

This particular exec took me to one side and said, ‘Look, I represent the pervert side of the audience, okay? Everybody else is the serious drama side, [but] I represent the perv side of the audience, and I’m saying I want full frontal nudity in this scene.’ So you go ahead and do it.

Ha! Yes, I’m the head of Pervert Relations for HBO. What a job!?!

But seriously, HBO knows what sells and it’s teh sex. What do you think? Is there too much tits, ass and rampant sex on Game of Thrones or do you find they hold back before becoming too gratuitous?

Source: Blastr

It’s not a spoiler there’s sex on Game of Thrones, but what is chocked full of spoilers is this incredible map tracking the journey of every major character throughout A Song of Ice and Fire. Ye be warned. Hit the jump the check it out!

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Sex With The Hulk

Sex with The Hulk would be… unfortunate. Even if he was in control of himself long enough to not leave your body looking like the aftermath of a Gallagher show, you’d still have to deal with DAT DICK! My god, The Hulk’s wang must be massive. Just a big, fat, veiny, angry looking cock with balls the size of basketballs. If his dong doesn’t split you in half, the gamma blast from his dick hole would shotgun it’s way through your freaking skull. Hmmm…I’ve obviously put some thought into this,  is it too late to call “No homo”? Point is, no va-jay-jay, short of Ms. Marvel, could receive The Hulks massive member. Yet, I’m sure there are plenty of real girls out there who have fantasized about being ravaged by this green giant. They crave Hulks not so eenie meanie.

Anyhow, here’s a COLLEGE HUMOR video about it. Sadly, it doesn’t end with sexual partners exploding from the inside.

Jesus lady! It only looks small in comparison to his leg muscles.